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Original poster

Do you regret your divorce?

84 replies

user2466 · 25/02/2026 22:38

In the process of figuring out if I should divorce my husband. But also not sure as to whether I’ll look back and regret it which made me wonder how many people actually do regret it?

OP posts:
ObliviousCoalmine · 25/02/2026 22:54

No, he’s a prick. The day he moved out was glorious, never looked back.

MyFunSloth · 25/02/2026 22:53

Your intentions sound noble but if he isn’t able to see, let alone begin to address, issues as huge as money and a controlling family, then you have to ask yourself whether there is a realistic chance of success.

There’s also a danger that trying one last time destroys anything you do have, eg civil interaction, the remnants of respect for each other, etc.

FreeWheezin · 25/02/2026 22:50

Is your life easier, simpler and calmer without him in it every day? I completely understand thinking about your daughter in this, but it is ok for you to have a peaceful life.

Original poster
user2466 · 25/02/2026 22:48

We’ve been separated for six months and recently (about a week ago) he said he wanted us to try again even if there’s a 1% chance that things could be different this time around. But

  1. He’s awful with money to the point bailiffs have come to our house before
  2. His parents were controlling towards me and intervened in our marriage a lot and despite at one point seeing this, he now doesn’t see anything wrong with them and denies any controlling behaviour and minimises their wrongdoing
  3. He’s an avoidant when he’s called out on the above. He isn’t scared of intimacy but when he’s confronted about the above he says he feels suffocated and wants to shut the convo down or leave the room
  4. He finds it difficult to take accountability.

The reasons why I wonder if I’d regret divorce

  1. My daughter does love him and I’ll always wonder if we could’ve made it work for her
  2. He’s not a bad person, he had undiagnosed ADHD and autism until he met me and has had childhood trauma that he refuses to accept. He has learnt avoidant behaviours to survive but now he applies that to our marriage and sees everything as an attack
  3. Ive never seen evidence of any cheating or anything sinister like that

I think for a lot of people the cons outweigh the pros I guess, but I’ll always wonder what if?

Despite saying he wants to try again, he hasnt done much to try again. We went out as a family last Thursday but that was suggested by me. Apart from that he’s not really done anything. He says he’s hurt as I did do a social services referral following our separation as I felt uncomfortable sending my daughter to his parents house after how controlling they were with me and how they’ve at times over stepped the mark when it came to her. The assessment concluded that there’s no evidence of current harm towards her. He says he’s finding it hard to move past the fact that I called social services for an assessment despite the fact I clarified I did this for peace of mind given my lived experiences from living there. But he says he wants to try again?

OP posts:
ChaliceinWonderland · 25/02/2026 22:47

No times 1000. Thank fuck I am now free.

cleowasmycat · 25/02/2026 22:46

Nope

Offleyhoo · 25/02/2026 22:42

I actually know several people, men and women, who really regret leaving their partner but can't now turn the clock back as the partner is remarried. Having said that lots of people I know are relieved to be divorced. I guess it depends on your circumstances and how bad it is 😞

Thejollypostlady · 25/02/2026 22:41

Absolutely not. Life is so much better now.

Newlysinglemum1 · 25/02/2026 22:41

Not in the slightest. I regret getting married to him outside of the fact I have my son as a result which is the silver lining to it all. But my situation involved really awful behaviour on his part so it was really a no brainer for me, i knew the marriage was absolutely dead before i asked for a divorce.

If you're in two minds would you consider marriage counselling to see if things can be remedied or if not to navigate a more amicable split? Do you feel safe in your marriage? Is there still love there?

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