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AIBU?

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Original poster

To message her..

243 replies

TheDenimPoet · 25/02/2026 15:41

I've almost decided I'm going to do this, but I need some support to know I'm doing the right thing.

Two years ago, a friend of mine (quite obviously not anymore) was arrested for child sex offences. Talking to a 13 year old boy online and arranging to meet. Sending sexual images etc. Anyway, he got found out, suspended sentence, sex offenders register for 15 years, broke up with his wife, lost contact with his kids.

He has made a false Facebook profile with a different first name and last name spelt backwards, and is now in a new relationship. He's been really cocky posting things online, as if he has no care in the world.

The new woman has a 12 year old son, and it genuinely knocked the wind out of my sails looking at him, and thinking that's almost the age of the boy he abused.

There's every chance she doesn't know. There was an article in the press, but it came and went, and unless she thought to Google him, she would probably never find out, as she's not local (I'm sure this was intentional).

So.

Should I send her the link to the article?

I really want to protect her and her son. I'm also really scared of backlash as there's been a lot of hate from his family that we haven't stuck by him. But there's no way I'm remaining friends and supporting this man.

Please tell me I'm doing the right thing by telling her?

OP posts:
PollyBell · 25/02/2026 21:29

Thankfully someone has, sadly if parents wont protect their children from new partners someone has too

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/02/2026 21:25

You need to do it immediately.

Therealjudgejudy · 25/02/2026 21:22

Well done op!

HRTQueen · 25/02/2026 21:21

You have definitely done the right thing he will have conditions around him

he is likely to have all ready spun a story of being misunderstood just incase she hears something, offenders like this are nearly always one step ahead always manipulating those around them

idontknowwhattodo2026 · 25/02/2026 21:18

You’ve done the right thing. He is probably in breach of licence conditions and could be sent to prison.
well done OP.

Ohyeahitsme · 25/02/2026 21:12

I wouldn't hesitate, if have already done it.

Boboobear · 25/02/2026 21:09

Please please tell her! People like him are never cured and her son is at risk! She may not believe you but she can ask the police for information as he's on the sex register! If you're afraid of backlash from his family you can contact the police yourself.

PurpleReindeer2 · 25/02/2026 21:06

Well done OP. Telling the police is so important.

Booboobagins · 25/02/2026 21:04

It takes a village, yes do it please, save the child and mother any more damage than this AH might already have caused.

Daygloboo · 25/02/2026 21:03

LauraC1984 · 25/02/2026 15:44

I would report it to the police and send them the details of his profile. They can safeguard her and her child and prosecute him if he’s broken his conditions. It will also save you from getting any backlash!

Good idea

MeridianB · 25/02/2026 20:54

So glad you’ve had the courage to do this, OP.

There are laws about SO’s changing their names and having to notify police so I hope your report sparks some action. It could make a huge difference to a vulnerable little boy, too.

MatronPomfrey · 25/02/2026 20:51

Contact the police. They will look into it because he’ll be registered with them. They’ll make sure the appropriate disclosures and safeguarding is done.

Helen1625 · 25/02/2026 20:44

You've done the right thing.

Did you message her anonymously? Just wondering if there is any way that he will know it is you and are you in any danger?

Let us know how it goes with the police or if you have a response from the girlfriend.

ChuckJacksonHanditoverNsoul · 25/02/2026 20:40

Done the right thing as sex offenders are known to get close /relationship with women to access the children.
It's in their nature to be sly and manipulative.

MMUmum · 25/02/2026 20:33

UninitendedShark · 25/02/2026 15:43

I’d go as far as contacting the police as I would assume it’s part of his bail conditions to stay away from children.

I was thinking this too

everypageisempty · 25/02/2026 20:33

Relieved to hear you've let her know and have talked to the police.

You've done the right thing.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 25/02/2026 20:29

You’ve done the right thing OP.

BoxingHare · 25/02/2026 20:26

UninitendedShark · 25/02/2026 15:43

I’d go as far as contacting the police as I would assume it’s part of his bail conditions to stay away from children.

This is what I would do.

Notasbigasithink · 25/02/2026 20:21

TheDenimPoet · 25/02/2026 15:41

I've almost decided I'm going to do this, but I need some support to know I'm doing the right thing.

Two years ago, a friend of mine (quite obviously not anymore) was arrested for child sex offences. Talking to a 13 year old boy online and arranging to meet. Sending sexual images etc. Anyway, he got found out, suspended sentence, sex offenders register for 15 years, broke up with his wife, lost contact with his kids.

He has made a false Facebook profile with a different first name and last name spelt backwards, and is now in a new relationship. He's been really cocky posting things online, as if he has no care in the world.

The new woman has a 12 year old son, and it genuinely knocked the wind out of my sails looking at him, and thinking that's almost the age of the boy he abused.

There's every chance she doesn't know. There was an article in the press, but it came and went, and unless she thought to Google him, she would probably never find out, as she's not local (I'm sure this was intentional).

So.

Should I send her the link to the article?

I really want to protect her and her son. I'm also really scared of backlash as there's been a lot of hate from his family that we haven't stuck by him. But there's no way I'm remaining friends and supporting this man.

Please tell me I'm doing the right thing by telling her?

Don't waste another second on here, do it now!!!! A boys whole future depends on it!!!!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 25/02/2026 20:10

@TheDenimPoet you've done such a good thing. I came here to say it was your civic purpose to report. And clearly you thought so too.

You've probably saved that 12 year old a lifetime of anguish. 😍

Happyjoe · 25/02/2026 19:59

TheDenimPoet · 25/02/2026 18:57

Hi again everyone, thanks again for your advice. I have sent her a message, with some information, along with a link to the article that was published on the day of sentencing. I have also been in contact with our local police station to ask what they suggest I do. They sounded quite busy and were a little bit blunt, but they said I should go in tomorrow for a chat and to log my concerns, and they'll see if a) he's breaking any of his conditions and b) if anyone could be at risk. The officer on the phone said the answer is probably yes to both, so it will be dealt with, and I was also assured that it would be anonymous.

I'll post back tomorrow and let you know how it goes with the police, or if I've had any reply from the message x

Honestly, thankyou. Just wanted to say thanks and you've done the right thing.

hypnovic · 25/02/2026 19:53

Well done 👏

Daydreambeliever87 · 25/02/2026 19:52

Had to comment because accidentally clicked YABU. Please do tell her.

hypnovic · 25/02/2026 19:52

100% yes if she doesn't read the message inform SS

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 25/02/2026 19:51

Message her. Report it to the police and children’s social care. You’ve got to make sure you pass this on as it could save that child