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Original poster

school say my son has to be in after his accident

415 replies

healingqueen · 25/02/2026 13:26

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts.

My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one)

he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly.

there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones

It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen

anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year

they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too

AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

OP posts:
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5
LiftAndCoast · 25/02/2026 19:21

If I lost my front teeth I'd be wearing a face mask in public until I could get them fixed. Is something like that an option for him, if he's feeling self-conscious?

I agree that he shouldn't have to go in if the problem is pain. If he's in pain, no real learning will be taking place.

And I say that as someone who had multiple operations on my arm at age 14 and went to school with my arm in a sling for most of a school year because of it.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2026 19:16

healingqueen · 25/02/2026 15:29

he's not doing any school work at home as they havent sent any. i first phone monday morning and told them about the accident and that he wouldnt be in and she said she would pass it on to his HOY. HOY didnt get back in touch and i left a message tuesday on the absence line and again nothing and I called again today and this time the receptionist answered (there was no answer tues) again and basically said it's going down as unauthorised again then and was quite short with me. Then his head of year phoned and said he needs to be in, he's not unwell and the only reason he should be off if he had a sickness bug, no other reason and was quite dismissive.

It could be shock as at the hospital and at the time he was quite calm which they picked up on as most children (and adults) definitely wouldn't be. He was in a lot of pain with his mouth / face that the wrist pain wasnt that bad at the time of injury which they said its normal as other injuries tend to mask the main but now he is in quite a bit of pain hes been having calpol but its not doing much after about an hour once its worn off

he doesnt have his own dentist as i cant afford private and the NHS dentists are like good dust but he will have an appointment at the hospital for a plan on what to do we haven't had the letter yet though.

to posted saying force him and school isn't optional. HOW? if he won't get up i cant force him and i can't force him to get dressed either . especially as i have younger children to get sorted and the morning rush is chaos anyway without a child refusing

he has to get the bus to school too so it wont just be the other children he sees itll be the members of the public etc

i have tried to talk to him about it but he basically says he doesnt want to talk about it and that's that

I actually think not going I this week if he's in pain etc is reasonable, I'd get a letter off the Dr.

But you need to step up and manage his pain better. That will massively affect his mood.

Calpol - is it the 6+ and the correct dose?

Alternate it with ibuprofen.

Check max doses but basically max dose him for a few days and then reduce it down.

Once his pain is manageable then you need to talk to him and find out why he won't go. Saying "well I said get up and he said no so of course I can do nothibg* isn't enough.

Emonade · 25/02/2026 19:14

Theyikesdyke · 25/02/2026 17:02

You and his dad are dropping the ball here. You need to actively parent and stop being so passive. Theres a reason he doesnt want to go to school. If youre stressed at home and cant manage your other children why would your older one want to discuss his issues with you? - his dad needs to step in and do something but let me guess hes a "typical man" and doesnt get emotions, safety and backseat parents.

What?!!!! He is only in year eight it isnt like he is missing anything important let him stay at home and rest the school are being unreasonable (I am a teacher and normally side with schools on here but I think this is ridiculous!)

AquaLeader · 25/02/2026 19:13

whereisitnow · 25/02/2026 14:19

I wonder if any of you would go to work with no front teeth. Now don’t lie!

Grow up.

The rest of us would go to work. We have bills to pay.

Theturtlesarefighting · 25/02/2026 19:10

If I was in pain from my broken wrist and teeth, I wouldn’t be going to work. So I wouldn’t be sending in my child!
Once pain is manageable , yes. Schools especially secondary are large and loads of pushing etc.
Why can’t he be sent homework etc, but what’s he going to do if he can’t write!

User1367349 · 25/02/2026 19:07

You are describing a child who has had a fairly traumatic injury. Personally I’d take more than a couple of days to come to terms with the shock of the injury and the loss of my front teeth. Do what is right for your child, get him to see a GP to get a note, but also if you are worried he isn’t getting over the shock normally.

The attendance police can F off. Do what is right for your child. If you are worried he’s embarrassed to see his friends, try to organise something fun/low key for him.

Marmaladelover · 25/02/2026 19:05

Contrarymary30 · 25/02/2026 16:52

It's ridiculous to expect him to go in while he's still in pain and has a broken wrist . Try and get a sick note from the gp for another week at least. school is out of order to be harassing you .

This ^

I think some posters are being too hard on you OP . If he is in pain then he won’t learn . If he is on stronger painkillers which it sounds like he needs he will be dopey and should not be at school. Injuries need sleep to heal how can they do that if he is pain and / or going to school.

Allseeingallknowing · 25/02/2026 19:01

Winter2020 · 25/02/2026 18:38

I think the recovery emotional trauma is more around the bash to the head and mouth/teeth. How do you think you feel after a massive smack to the mouth. I can tell you it's pretty dreadful and the OP'S son's smack to the mouth was hard enough to break several teeth.

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Agree- think some are being very hard about this.

mrsgilfeathers · 25/02/2026 18:59

…and if you have to wait 3/4/5/6months to have them fixed? I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to go to work with missing front teeth, but I’d have no option.

Driftingawaynow · 25/02/2026 18:57

A disfiguring facial injury is not the same as breaking a leg. He will be feeling so vulnerable, I’d let him work from home /have time off

CornishPorsche · 25/02/2026 18:52

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/02/2026 18:33

We currently have a child in school with a broken wrist. We also have a child who has been managing on crutches with a broken ankle since before half-term. Both are in casts and, with reasonable adjustments, are able to cope perfectly well with the school day. Dont project your feelings onto your child or the school; it won't end well for anyone.

And how long after their injuries were they off? Do either of them so have head / facial injuries?

Therescathairinmybath · 25/02/2026 18:41

NoPeasForTheWicked · 25/02/2026 17:46

OP, I’m sure that if any of the teachers at your son’s school had had an accident three days ago and were in pain with a bruised and swollen face, missing front teeth and a fractured wrist they would be straight back at work tomorrow.

Oh my mistake, of course they fucking wouldn’t.

I worked in a school and had a car accident. I had lots of bruising and some stitches on my face and head. I went into work a few days later as the (horrible) head insisted I was needed urgently. I was sent home again within an hour after some of the children started crying as soon as they saw me!

FatTumNoBum · 25/02/2026 18:40

Why does he need to go into school?
Can he not do the school work at home while he recuperates?

I’d push back but then I’m in Ireland where they’re not ridiculously uptight about attendance figures and take a more pragmatic approach.

Winter2020 · 25/02/2026 18:38

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/02/2026 18:33

We currently have a child in school with a broken wrist. We also have a child who has been managing on crutches with a broken ankle since before half-term. Both are in casts and, with reasonable adjustments, are able to cope perfectly well with the school day. Dont project your feelings onto your child or the school; it won't end well for anyone.

I think the recovery emotional trauma is more around the bash to the head and mouth/teeth. How do you think you feel after a massive smack to the mouth. I can tell you it's pretty dreadful and the OP'S son's smack to the mouth was hard enough to break several teeth.

SENcatsandfish · 25/02/2026 18:37

MollyButton · 25/02/2026 15:07

Sorry as a mother of school refusers: How do you get a 13 year old into school if they utterly refuse. I have cajoled children into school, but if you have a child who absolutely refuses at this age there is a point at which you can do nothing. (You can no longer pick them up and make them.)

OP I’d be trying to see a doctor and seeing if they can persuade them or are willing to “sign them off on mental health grounds”.

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I was wondering this too. My 13 year old refuses, and when I say refuses i mean point blank. It sounds like that posters child has school reluctance rather than refusal/EBSA

AJLOAL · 25/02/2026 18:35

Slightyamusedandsilly · 25/02/2026 13:30

He must have had 5 days off already if this counts as unauthorised absence.

But let me guess. This is an academy. They'd take a corpse propped up in a corner to help their attendance figures.

😂

sundayvibeswig22 · 25/02/2026 18:33

Did he hit his head when he fell?

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/02/2026 18:33

We currently have a child in school with a broken wrist. We also have a child who has been managing on crutches with a broken ankle since before half-term. Both are in casts and, with reasonable adjustments, are able to cope perfectly well with the school day. Dont project your feelings onto your child or the school; it won't end well for anyone.

Flippingweird · 25/02/2026 18:32

FreeFromWhat · 25/02/2026 18:13

you might want to
look at a diagram of the human body as heads and legs aren't the same thing

Eh?

The boy likely has concussion and you're going on about a leg. 😀

DuchessDandelion · 25/02/2026 18:30

DuchessDandelion · 25/02/2026 18:24

Just read your posts @healingqueen not all the replies. I'm wondering if he could have a bit of a concussion? It's a funny thing and when I had it, it was a struggle to identify let alone articulate, why I felt so off - I just new that I did.

Might he worth having a gp assess him for concussion because if so then it's fair for him to rest and recover a few more days.

Sounds like an awful accident :(

I can't edit but all the typos in this - don't judge me!!

Aluna · 25/02/2026 18:27

oviraptor21 · 25/02/2026 17:28

How exactly would a helmet have saved his teeth?!
On this occasion the lack of a.helmet had nothing to do with any of the injuries he sustained.

I'm with you OP. It sounds like he is still in some pain and with significant bruising and lost teeth I would.absolutely be supporting him in staying off school a while longer. Whilst the academy may not like the absences, if the local authority do get involved, I would expect them to work with you towards getting him back in.
Did the hospital give any recommendations re the time frame?

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A full face helmet would have protected him. Chin falls are one of the most common type on a scooter. Dress for the slide not for the ride..

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/02/2026 18:24

whereisitnow · 25/02/2026 14:19

I wonder if any of you would go to work with no front teeth. Now don’t lie!

If I wanted to keep my job, I would.

Same way the staff member whose face was almost entirely purple following an accident walking their dog turned up every day (and went to hospital to have it x-rayed after making sure that all the exam entries for their classes were completed).

It's possible to make adjustments to allow for not entering the corridors when they're busiest, having somebody bring lunch to somewhere like Learning Support or a Pastoral Hub, if mobility were an issue, arranging for lessons or work to be carried out on the ground floor, that kind of thing. If he's self conscious about bruising, he might be able to stay somewhere quieter for break and lunch. But not being happy about how he temporarily looks isn't an illness, so it can't be authorised.

DuchessDandelion · 25/02/2026 18:24

Just read your posts @healingqueen not all the replies. I'm wondering if he could have a bit of a concussion? It's a funny thing and when I had it, it was a struggle to identify let alone articulate, why I felt so off - I just new that I did.

Might he worth having a gp assess him for concussion because if so then it's fair for him to rest and recover a few more days.

Sounds like an awful accident :(

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