school say my son has to be in after his accident

Christ on a bike (or scooter).
I suspect all of the ‘SEND HIM TO SCHOOL’ brigade would all be up in arms of you posted about your son and said ‘so this morning I dragged him out of bed, forcibly dressed him, forcibly put his shoes on, forced him into the car, tied him to the seat, drove to school then after untying him dragged him into School. I mean his wrist is only fractured and it’s only four teeth ffs’.
Can you imagine the horror from the brigade?!?!

Give him tomorrow and Friday off.
Dont even try to get him up. Let him sleep and rest his injured body and recover from the shock.
Ask school for some work -if they refuse follow up with an email to his form tutor, HOY, Head of school and school governors . Tell them that despite asking you have been refused work.
Phone doctors and get him a ‘sick/fit note’.
Then, on Friday after you have got the kids to bed get him on the sofa with you with a big bag of chocolate buttons (easy to suck) and talk to him. See what is stopping him from going. Tiredness, embarrassment, pain, feeling unable to go to loo/write, could it be his speech (is it affected by the loss of teeth).
Find out what it is then make a plan together. He’s had a terrible shock with life long consequences (he’s lost 4 adult teeth ) and is probably devastated. He needs care & love not being forced back to school.

To all the posters who have been nasty saying of course he can - l bet you wouldn’t have gone back to work with a broken dominant arm wrist, a smashed up face and no front teeth, and holes in your lips. I would hate to be a child of yours.
@healingqueen he needs a bit of time & love. He’s only 12.
School didn’t mind my 12 year old being off for moths in lockdown.
But do try to get him some work & maybe stronger painkillers.

If he’s sleeping that much then he’s clearly not well enough for school. Can you partner or friend take day off to help or can nursery have your little one for longer if the circumstances were explained to them?

also you could ask the medic if you can record the appointment on a phone

I know, and it's 4 missing front teeth!

Sleeping is his body healing -he is not doing anything wrong nor are you, it must be hard to see him suffering - take photos and his mouth ect and send them to his school and Dr .....listen to your heart.... The school can bog off he will catch up.....

Dear OP, don't listen to people telling you to force him to go. It's nuts that anyone would suggest school attendance after such a brutal accident. You are clearly absolutely at the end of your tether and weirdoes yelling at you on MN isn't helping. Stand your ground, tell the school to fuck off, and try turning up at the GP and begging them to squeeze you in - as it's just a bit of paperwork you need, maybe they can give you one of the appointments set aside for acute/time sensitive cases.
Your son is not acting out by not wanting to go to school, he's injured and upset and probably very upset. I'd be devastated if I'd lost several teeth. Some of the responses you've had on here have been absolutely appalling.
You're well within your rights to tell the school to go take a running jump.

You might be able to see the GP as you need advice on managing his concussion. They might not write a note for school but if they advise keeping him off longer that would still be something you can use with school.

I'm from the UK but now live in another European country and agree the attitude to school/work attendance when sick in the UK is borderline sociopathic and deeply counterproductive. Letting people have sick days off when they need them is crucial to mental/emotional wellbeing and long-term academic or career-related achievement.

Oh, get a proper hobby fgs

He was at a skate park ffs, probably on a stunt scooter, perfectly normal (and quite cool) pastime for a 12 year old and even an adult.

School cancelled say and threaten what they like but you are the parent and need to make the judgement call on whether he is well enough to attend school.
He's in pain, taking pain killers, not sleeping well, can't eat and his body is trying to recover. Of course he just wants to be at home. He may also be self conscious about his injuries.
Also if concern is his fear that he will be held up as an example in school of needing to wear a helmet. His injuries don't sound like they would have been any different with a helmet on.
Would also be concerned as to whether the school have done a proper risk assessment to support his return and adapting of lessons etc

I have had a broken wrist that required surgery to pin it. It wasn’t all that painful but it was very awkward. It was my dominant hand. I couldn’t write, I could use a keyboard but not properly. Getting dressed and going to the loo was awkward. I couldn’t cut up food and had to eat with a spoon or fork with my left hand. I also once had 3 teeth extracted ( visible front teeth). I went straight back to work from the dentists but 3 days later I was in a lot of pain for over a week. I would not have liked to have these two problems at the same time. I think people are underestimating how uncomfortable this young man will be. I’m not a shirker, I was back at work 4 weeks after an abdominal hysterectomy, but I was off work for 4 weeks with the broken wrist too. I felt very self conscious until my teeth were sorted but I did face it out and go to work. It’s not so easy for a twelve year old. I also think the head of year spoke to OP disrespectfully. I’m surprised so many people are supporting the school and are so harsh.

Absolutely no way i would force my child to attend school in this state. The school ca send work home or they can fuck off , frankly. I’d be getting him to the GP and laying it on thick to get him some more time at home. And writing very strongly worded letters. Try your MP too.

OP @healingqueen I’ve no idea why some posters are giving you such a hard time!! It sounds awful for him and sounds like he’s still in shock and a bit of pain. Likely due to lack of sleep, not being able to eat and having to have his teeth out. As well as bruising. He’s probably embarrassed and worried what people will say. It sounds like it was really nasty so maybe a bit depressed?

I think if it were me I’d arrange to pop into school and chat to HoY and explain. See what can be done.

not sure of your work but could he be dropped after the little ones so he doesn’t have to contend with the bus? Do that for a couple of days so he can get used it.

I personally can't believe anyone would seriously think a 12 year old should attend school with 2 missing front teeth and a fractured wrist. Absolutely insane

having had family experience losing front teeth. Some info for the ignorant.

No dentist will be able to really do anything until any facial/gum swelling has gone down. He'll likely need fitting with a plate with false teeth on in the short term, and implants later... that means impressions need to be made, which to save money, is best left until the mouth has settled.

Not familiar with british schools but it sounds absolutely ridiculous. An injured child should stay at home and rest to allow his body to heal.

This is why i said if you think he needs to be home, then you need to tell school to mind their own fucking business (politely of course)

I would be keeping him off for the week to have more time to recover, learn to sleep with the cast, for his mouth to heal and him learn to eat minus his teeth.

I would be telling the school in no uncertain terms they can record his absence however the hell like but he isn't coming in until i'm happy he is well enough to be there and cope, and that as his parent, that is MY decision, not theirs.

In the mean time i'd be asking them to talk through what they can do when he does come back to support him being able to work.

Did she also have a concussion, facial trauma, and no front teeth? I imagine these things are causing OP's son more pain and distress than his wrist.

I can remember one of my friends coming to school with a broken arm. She couldn't eat, so we had to feed her her lunch. This went on for about 6 weeks. It was not an issue.
They made em tough in my day

He’s had to have his front teeth pulled out. Imagine being 12 - I wouldn’t want to go in either.

What difference would that make to the question the OP has asked?

It wouldn't change the injuries or how her son feels.
The original post says he was at a skate park. My guess would therefore be that it was a stunt scooter rather than an electric one( which as you say are illegal to be used other thsn on privateland with permissionfrom the landowner). .

I honestly cannot understand this country’s obsession with attendance (i live in the UK but was raised in another European country). My parents would never send me ill, we would go on holidays during school term and I even remember not going to school for a day or two because I got a new book that I really wanted to read. Guess what, I ended up with two degrees and a professional qualification.

Don’t worry OP, people on this thread who say ‘oh he’s fine, he should go to school’ are absolutely mental and I feel really sorry for their children. The kid is 12 and he’s missing FOUR front teeth ffs. It hasn’t even been 2 weeks, let him recover, there’s zero chance I’d be showing up at work without my front teeth.

It’s not the first thread where the attendance police would be sending a child without an arm to school. ‘There’s absolutely no reason for him not to’. Bonkers.