Page 3 | school say my son has to be in after his accident

healingqueen · 2026-02-25T13:26:55+00:00

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts. My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one) he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly. there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

Allseeingallknowing · 27/02/2026 15:34

SilenceInside · 27/02/2026 14:12

@VoiceFromThePit Did you have concussion, have your four top teeth broken and then extracted, and a broken wrist that needs surgery, as well?

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Exactly, some on here are downplaying the trauma to the mouth.

CopperOriole · 27/02/2026 14:24

When I broke my wrist swivelling around on a sandy path to see a giant grasshopper (!), I had 4 weeks off work as I couldn't write, use the computer, tie a shoe lace, or make a cup of tea.
I remember feeling tired and lethargic, which I believe is the body's way of saying you must rest and recover. I also felt very vulnerable when I tried going on the bus...and that was without the injuries to face and teeth.
I don't understand all the pressure to get an injured child back into school before recovering from a very nasty fall. Both you and he will know when he's ready - ,just trust him and your maternal instincts.
I hope all goes well for him.

Original poster

healingqueen · 27/02/2026 14:20

sittingonabeach · 27/02/2026 13:55

@healingqueen any update on dental side?

they said the mouth will take a while, they said that there has been a referral to maxfax and paediatric dentistry but it won't be immediate even if it was an urgent referral as they will likely wait for the gums etc to heal and the treatment will only be temporary for now until growth is finished but once he gets the appointments through they should be able to answer any questions as this was only from the fracture clinic.

they did say the bruising and swelling can look worse as between days 5-7 which we are on now but said it could take a while for it to be fully healed and back to 100% how it usually is

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VoiceFromThePit · 27/02/2026 14:14

My teeth were fine in the end, so I guess your son sounds worse off than me, but you can only go by the medical advice, luckily you got some.

VoiceFromThePit · 27/02/2026 14:12

Just to add, my incident happened at lunchtime, so the school nurse wiped my face clean of blood mostly and I went to afternoon lessons but looked a mess at hometime when I walked home. Oh and the next day I had two black eyes and a very swollen nose (I suspect it was fractured but nobody checked). Mind you this was the 1970s 😂

SilenceInside · 27/02/2026 14:12

VoiceFromThePit · 27/02/2026 14:08

I had an accident like this when I was 9 (similar injury but my top teeth went all the way through my bottom lip - but caused by being purposefully pushed over violently from behind whilst my hands were behind my back).

Both I and my assailant were in school the next day.

@VoiceFromThePit Did you have concussion, have your four top teeth broken and then extracted, and a broken wrist that needs surgery, as well?

VoiceFromThePit · 27/02/2026 14:08

I had an accident like this when I was 9 (similar injury but my top teeth went all the way through my bottom lip - but caused by being purposefully pushed over violently from behind whilst my hands were behind my back).

Both I and my assailant were in school the next day.

SilenceInside · 27/02/2026 13:59

I think the key phrase from the consultant is "medically fit as long as pain is controlled". I think you'll know when he is recovered enough to go back to school - when he is sleeping more normally and when he is not complaining of pain and generally more alert and less exhausted.

I think that perhaps now the school have seen him, and seen the extent of the injuries and how he is in himself, they may back off and actually support you and him.

I also think that getting a plan for the dental issues will help, as it seems like he is understandably very conscious of the damage to his front teeth.

sittingonabeach · 27/02/2026 13:55

@healingqueen any update on dental side?

Original poster

healingqueen · 27/02/2026 13:48

RedToothBrush · 27/02/2026 10:51

That isn't healthy though either to withdraw. It might make issues worse long term.

It's your choice but allowing him to do this isn't the one that I'd take.

Kids sometimes legitimately need a kick up the arse for their own mental wellbeing. Being home by themselves allows mental health issues to get worse not better sometimes. And falling behind in school isn't going to help self esteem issues.

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i have said that im concerned about him not wanting to go out anywhere, not just school

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User1367349 · 27/02/2026 13:42

I’m going to say, I think some of the posters on this thread are being deliberately cruel. A child in this much pain, quite understandably from a serious injury, needs rest and recovery. School attendance is not relevant.

Original poster

healingqueen · 27/02/2026 13:39

its been a long morning tbh they did another xray on his wrist first and then we waited about an hour to be seen.

the consultant said it is a distal radius fracture and its slightly displaced but not massively. they were hoping it would sit ok in the cast but because of the angle and the swelling going down its moved a little bit since last week so he does need a manipulation under anaesthetic to put it back into a better position. they said because hes 12 and still growing they want it lines up properly. so he needs a procedure but they said its not “major surgery” as such its a short general aesthetic and they reset and recast it. They're trying to get him on the list for early next week and they will phone with the exact date

hes in a full cast still and they’ll likely put another full cast on after the manipulation

re school the consultant said medically he is fit to attend school as long as pain is controlled but he completely understood why he might not want to go yet with the facial injuries he said concussion wise he was happy as long as there’s been no vomiting, confusion or worsening headaches he did say tiredness is very normal after mild concussion and also after anaesthetic next week he may need a day or two again

pain wise they said what hes describing is normal especially now the adrenaline has worn off they’ve prescribed liquid ibuprofen at a stronger dose and liquid paracetamol on a proper schedule rather than just as and when

he did get upset because he felt people were staring at him and he put his hood up and every time he spoke he covered his mouth

we went to the school after and saw his assistant head of year first and then his HOY joined us they were slightly more reasonable than on the phone, ds got upset because he didnt want to go but everyone was in lessons by that point. I showed them the letter about the fracture requiring manipulation under GA and after they saw that they said they will authorise it for this week and whenever the procedure takes place

They said they want him in as much as possible as attendance is important and will be monitoring but he wont be marked late or punished if i drop him off which will be slightly later than the time school starts (but still before 9am and before lessons start most likely) and they have said i can pick him up at about 2:30-2:45 as they understand i have other dc. he can sit in the library at break/lunch, they will fund him somewhere else to sit during PE especially if it involves a ball so he doesnt get knocked accidentally and his work will be printed as he cant write and other lessons will be adjusted where needed (like design as thats practical)

i did mention he was upset about his sister saying he will be used as an example and they said absolutely not and told him if anyone made nasty comments to go and tell someone but told him its likely people will just be concerned and not have bad intentions but he can just tell them he doesnt want to talk about it if that's the case

hes still saying he doesnt want to go in next week and im not sure what ill do as consultant basically said its a parent call rather than medical unless symptoms worsen

hes absolutely exhausted now and gone to bed, i feel a bit better knowing there's a plan for his wrist at least but the anaesthetic is another thing to worry about now

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Frequency · 27/02/2026 11:08

RedToothBrush · 27/02/2026 10:51

That isn't healthy though either to withdraw. It might make issues worse long term.

It's your choice but allowing him to do this isn't the one that I'd take.

Kids sometimes legitimately need a kick up the arse for their own mental wellbeing. Being home by themselves allows mental health issues to get worse not better sometimes. And falling behind in school isn't going to help self esteem issues.

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I'd agree if it were two or three weeks down the line, but the poor kid had a concussion, and his teeth smashed out less than a week ago, ffs.

He is in pain and wants to, rightly, rest. He's not withdrawing.

@healingqueen Try to speak to your GP about better pain management if he is no better today.

RedToothBrush · 27/02/2026 10:51

healingqueen · 27/02/2026 10:12

i don't believe he has been up to doing work and i dont think forcing him is the right way to go about it as hes not being lazy or refusing because he would rather be on devices all he wants to do is stay in his room and sleep. he was a bit more awake yesterday and did a bit of maths that was added as homework as it was a quiz on an app

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That isn't healthy though either to withdraw. It might make issues worse long term.

It's your choice but allowing him to do this isn't the one that I'd take.

Kids sometimes legitimately need a kick up the arse for their own mental wellbeing. Being home by themselves allows mental health issues to get worse not better sometimes. And falling behind in school isn't going to help self esteem issues.

Original poster

healingqueen · 27/02/2026 10:12

sittingonabeach · 27/02/2026 10:00

@healingqueen there are free online education resources

i don't believe he has been up to doing work and i dont think forcing him is the right way to go about it as hes not being lazy or refusing because he would rather be on devices all he wants to do is stay in his room and sleep. he was a bit more awake yesterday and did a bit of maths that was added as homework as it was a quiz on an app

OP posts:

sittingonabeach · 27/02/2026 10:00

@healingqueen there are free online education resources

Original poster

healingqueen · 27/02/2026 09:59

OneShyQuail · 27/02/2026 08:15

You need to be seen to be trying tho. Your son needs to see that you are working with the school and the school need to see this as well. Take the younger child with you??
I did this with my two, if my eldest had to be somewhere her sister came too. Its a toddler not a bomb.

If you feel he isnt well enough for school he needs medical professionals to say so.
School will get off your back for a bit then and you can ask for work.

People jumping on the schools back, they are only following government mandates and every day lost means he is missing vital information...he will need catching up....

OP have you got him some year 8 workbooks so he can keep his hand in his work?

The longer he is off the more overwhelmed he is going to feel with what he has missed.

What was his attendance figure at the end of y7? Was it low? Something seems off that they are chasing so bad....my eldest has excellent attendance so if she does indeed need a few days off no one from the school.is hounding me and I certainly dont feel paranoid like they are trying to "catch me out"

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i havent gotten him any year 8 work books do do i don't know what is best to get and it is a bit £££ if hes only been off this week as he wont use them when hes back in school as he has enough homework to do

i don't remember his exact year 7 attendance figure but i think he had about 5 days off spread through the year due to sickness (inc 1 day they sent him home themselves)

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OneShyQuail · 27/02/2026 08:15

healingqueen · 26/02/2026 20:02

last week the hospital didnt mention anything about school they just said keep an eye on him i will ask tomorrow though at the fracture clinic

i have said he wont be in tomorrow and ill get a letter from the hospital tomorrow as the appointment was booked over a phone call, today they did mention me taking him for a quick chat at the school after his appointment but i don't know if I can due to having the 2yo as my ex works so cant do childcare and he isnt involved in the dc’s lives that much tbh as in he doesnt see them often he only did last week as i was very unwell with a kidney infection and was in hospital and the nursery only does morning sessions for 2yos so i cant extend unfortunately (i did ask earlier but they said no)

You need to be seen to be trying tho. Your son needs to see that you are working with the school and the school need to see this as well. Take the younger child with you??
I did this with my two, if my eldest had to be somewhere her sister came too. Its a toddler not a bomb.

If you feel he isnt well enough for school he needs medical professionals to say so.
School will get off your back for a bit then and you can ask for work.

People jumping on the schools back, they are only following government mandates and every day lost means he is missing vital information...he will need catching up....

OP have you got him some year 8 workbooks so he can keep his hand in his work?

The longer he is off the more overwhelmed he is going to feel with what he has missed.

What was his attendance figure at the end of y7? Was it low? Something seems off that they are chasing so bad....my eldest has excellent attendance so if she does indeed need a few days off no one from the school.is hounding me and I certainly dont feel paranoid like they are trying to "catch me out"

HarshbutTrue2 · 26/02/2026 20:17

Take the 2yo to the school appointment. Let them crawl on the floor, get sticky fingers on the paperwork, cry, hopefully fill their nappy.
Do not make things easy for the school. They need to see that your life isn't easy. They need to make life easier for you.
I still think you should skip the school and go above their heads

Pinkladyapplepie · 26/02/2026 20:08

JemimaTiggywinkles · 25/02/2026 23:07

You worked in a school office and don’t think they have risk assessments to hand which cover children with broken bones and needing pain relief?! I call bullshit. Kids with broken bones are completely normal in secondary schools. Not one in every class, but two or three at any one time in the average comp.

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I didn't say they would not have a policy, for either risk or medication, I said it would shut them up for a couple of days, meaning it will take a while for them to get a reply out.
I have worked in a few school offices actually( as I was a supply teacher and due to my other experience and qualifications I was often asked to do this cover).
So I am well versed in school admin and teaching. Thanks

Original poster

healingqueen · 26/02/2026 20:02

last week the hospital didnt mention anything about school they just said keep an eye on him i will ask tomorrow though at the fracture clinic

i have said he wont be in tomorrow and ill get a letter from the hospital tomorrow as the appointment was booked over a phone call, today they did mention me taking him for a quick chat at the school after his appointment but i don't know if I can due to having the 2yo as my ex works so cant do childcare and he isnt involved in the dc’s lives that much tbh as in he doesnt see them often he only did last week as i was very unwell with a kidney infection and was in hospital and the nursery only does morning sessions for 2yos so i cant extend unfortunately (i did ask earlier but they said no)

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blueskyandrainbows · 26/02/2026 18:28

Totally agree OP, just tell the school he’s not well and he’s not coming in, you are his mother and have every right to decide whether he attends school or not.
The fall that has damaged his teeth will more than likely have a big effect on him mentally at that age, it’s such a shame that our dental services are in such as state as I imagine that alone is depressing for him.

User1367349 · 26/02/2026 18:24

Frequency · 26/02/2026 17:05

You need to stop pandering to the school.

Do you think he is well enough to be in school? This is the most important issue.

If you don't think he is, stop talking to the school about school refusal or early passes and tell them he is not well enough and will not be in until he is well enough.

If they threaten to put it down as unauthorised, ask them what their reasoning is, provide them by email, any medical proof you have (photos/appointment cards, etc.), and if it still goes down as unauthorised, ask by email what the complaints process is. Keep taking it higher until you get the result you need.

They cannot put down injury or illness as unauthorised unless theyhave a solid reason to believe it is not genuine.

https://notfineinschool.co.uk/home/f/is-medical-evidence-required-to-authorise-every-school-absence

I agree with every word of this! Why are you accepting this bullying behaviour @healingqueen? Your poor child is in need of nurofen and calpol to control the pain, they are not fit to be in school.

andweallsingalong · 26/02/2026 17:41

What does the GP say?

If he's saying the Calpol isn't strong enough maybe he needs better meds and to be off school until his pain is under control and his sleep is more normal. Sounds like he needs a GP sick note for a couple of weeks. If school won't send work maybe get him on bitesize or something. Probably better for him to know he's definitely off for X days than to have the daily discussion.

SecretSquid · 26/02/2026 17:24

Stop panicking and trying to get the school to agree to 5 minutes here and there. TELL them he is not well enough. A pp has already advised you to write an email if you can't stand up to them on the phone.