school say my son has to be in after his accident

I absolutely disagree with forcing him in.

In the short term after an accident the pain is acute and there is a lot of swelling. He may well only be in a backslab half plaster cast to allow this - this is less stable than a full plaster.

Secondary school is a pushing shoving kind of place with no-one really taking any notice of other's injuries.

It is NOT the school's choice to make decisions about your child's health - that is your choice as a parent.

Push back. Email and say it is not unauthorised absence, you are TELLING them that he is not well enough to be in school.

Unless they can provide proof that he is in fact well enough - ie. pictures of him roller skating whilst he off, then they should record this absence as sickness.

If you have considered how this child has been affected mentally after a significant accident, surely you can see he may need longer to recover before returning to school from a mental health perspective.

He's obviously shaken up by the experience, embarrassed about how it happened, and also how he looks. He'll be dreading everyone asking him about it and potentially teasing him about his missing teeth. But as others have said, his teeth won't be fixed any time soon, and his bruises will also take a while to fully resolve. The longer he hides at home, the bigger a deal it'll become, and the harder it'll be to go back to school.

School isn't the same as work. In 6 weeks he'd miss a big chunk of the curriculum. It's not the same as someone having to cover an absent employee for 6 weeks.

Which wrist is it? If it's his dominant hand he will need some short term support eg. A note taker. And if it is his dominant hand, is it affecting him being able to go to the loo, manipulate clothing - zip trousers etc? At the very least the poor lad must be in pain and feel embarrassed.

I was concussed.

Unless your arm and leg affects the ability for you to think, feel, see and speak I'm not quite sure it's comparable?

concussion even if mild absolutely sucks

He should be going to school OP. The arm needs to be stabilised, presumably the hospital have done this already and he needs to take some pain relief but at 12 he should be trusted to do this. There’s no reason for him to be at home for weeks on end till his arm heals and the wait for his teeth could be several months longer. It will only make it harder for him to go back the longer he has off.

How much pain is he in? When I broke my arm, for the first week between healing and taking the only painkillers that actually worked which made me very tired I had to take a nap after a couple of hours normal activities, and trying to push through was very painful.
However if he's past that stage he should be in. If it's his writing hand school should be able to come up with something that means he doesn't need to write, and obviously he can sit out PE.

I would wait until the bruising goes down. The poor boy probably looks like he has had a bit of a fight. Any reason to stand out kids will pick on him. You can ask gp for a letter in my experience they are not keen to do it and may charge you. I would let him recover this week and tell him he needs to go back on Monday. He must be feeling self concious too.

Adults at my workplace would get more understanding than this. Blimey.

Yes we have we just don't agree. Don't assume we haven't considered MH just because he won't go back to school.

Do what you think is right for your son OP. What the school says should be the tiniest of factors.

Well perhaps if he was expected to carry on as normal he wouldn’t have quite the amount of trauma?

stiff upper lip doesn’t always work but there are ( like anything really ) plenty of times when it’s a good place to start

Seems your son is mentally not well enough to return to school after a serious accident that resulted in significant physical injuries..
People sayign "i cant see why he cant go in" obviously havent thought about how this accident has affected your son mentally .
Could you and your son discuss with GP and get sickness cert and ask school for some home learning support.
My daughter had a similar accident ( facial injuries and ankle fracture) and was off school for 3 weeks ,school were very supportive and sent work home for her, then a staggered return as crutching around all day was exhausting .

If he is in pain and refusing to go out at all, he is clearly suffering in more than one way. Id explain to the school that he has had a nasty crash, he will be back after the fracture clinic on Friday.

My dd broke her arm at school and school wanted her straight back in the next day. I explained that she was in the children's ward and had been to the operating theatre, the consultant had said no school for at least 7 days as he didn't want her knocked and the op repeated. The school queried this so I gave them the consultants name and told them to contact his secretary - I would give permission for them to speak about her car - they suddenly didn't want to and were fine with her having the 10 days off (which included weekends)

Sorry as a mother of school refusers: How do you get a 13 year old into school if they utterly refuse. I have cajoled children into school, but if you have a child who absolutely refuses at this age there is a point at which you can do nothing. (You can no longer pick them up and make them.)

OP I’d be trying to see a doctor and seeing if they can persuade them or are willing to “sign them off on mental health grounds”.

If he's still in a lot of pain, keep him home. Otherwise, facial bruising and a wrist in plaster shouldn't be keeping him off school.

Thank goodness, I was beginning to think it was just me!
It's not up to the school to decide that he's fit enough to go back. It's up to you. Is it even a week since the accident? It can really shake you up. And you know that he's still in a lot of pain, that he's hiding in his room and not seeing his mates. Doesn't sound like he's ready to me. And get a referral for his teeth ASAP.

Oh how awful for your poor son.
School are being ridiculous. Fine if it was just the wrist but hes had a horrible mouth injury and a shock.

I fell and hit my front tooth which killed it and cut my mouth and im in my 40s and it was really traumatic and I felt awful for a while after so I would keep him home for the rest of the week and see how he is over the weekend.

Could the doctor provide a sick note?

Have you been able to see a dentist for options on the teeth?

Is he at risk of delayed concussion with sudh a severe facial injury? He should be resting as much as possible right now to minimise any concussion risk.

You need to get a doctor's note for him.

Do you think he well enough to cope in school?

Plus who is telling you this?

I had with DS who had an emergecy operation the attendance officer on our case - head of year actaully didn't want him in till he was well enough to cope - ( not broken bones but serious operation and resulting tenderness in senstive area).

If in your judgement he needs more time - then fuck what the school thinks. If he needs to get back to normal and get outside the house - and is just self concious and scared then yes pushing him back - inisting he attend by x date - could be the right thing rather than letting the fear build.

Is there staff will to help support him - can accomodations be made for busy corridors so he's not knocked?

I'd also tell the sister to stop scaring him about going back - a helmet wouldn't have save his teeth or wrist - and accidents happen no one should be made to fear being publically humiliated as well as enduring the ongoing worry and pain from one. It's likely that made any fears and self conciousness much worse and I'd have been livid that was suggested to him and it's really not very kind and if school was planning or did anything like that I'd be very angry with them.

Not RTFT but get him a referral to Bart’s for his teeth now. Do not accept no from your dentist. They need to save the nerve asap.

Mine was sustained on the black run at The Lecht!