school say my son has to be in after his accident

I feel so badly for your son. I was bullied, and theres absolutely no way I'd have gone in with my top front teeth missing! Kids at highschool age are cruel, they would have absolutely incessantly taken the piss and made life miserable. There would have been very little learning happening when all i could think about was the humiliation and hurt of being bullied, and thats without the incapacitated dominant hand.

I feel for you too OP, with the likely threats of fines, and it being able to be taken further such as court etc, you must be really worried, and no doubt this will make your son feel awful too as he won't be wanting you to get in trouble, he just really can't face it.

Do you have a local childrens hospital? They tend to have on site teachers for the patients, including a small on site school. Students could go there temporarily with broken limbs, or other physical or mental health issues that meant they couldn't cope in a mainstream, or there was limited availability for teachers coming to your home. I know because this is what i ended up doing. If so, contact your GP for an appointment to discuss this as a possibility, even if theres not a childrens hospital there may be the potential of an at home learning period, and the GP is usually the first step.

He needs to go to his lessons. School isn't working for a living; it's access to education. If he misses it, he loses out. If he can sit in a classroom, listen and type, he's better there than lounging at home.

@Ocelotfeet27 Anything that produces facial injuries is considered a head injury so you make a very valid point.

Unless it was a full face helmet he would have still most teeth.

Seen similar happen on pump track wearing normal skid lid.

Mine do extreme sports and always wear mouth guard after seeing teeth damage

@grimupnorthnot Are you having a laugh?

Every day I hear adults on mumsnet saying they're not going to work because of some twinge or other.

These are significant injuries. He hasn't grazed his knee - he's smashed his teeth and face in and broken his arm.

I am absolutely certain if this had happened to an adult who was told by work that they had better get their ass in pronto that the replies would be that this was entirely unreasonable.

The country is in a state because it has been asset stripped by billionaires and too much money has been given to individuals and too little given to large infrastructure projects that help all of us.

I feel for him, he’s most likely too embarrassed. It may be the bruising but most likely the teeth, losing your front teeth is awful- poor kid. Obviously the school aren’t being unreasonable either because he isn’t too unwell/severely injured not to attend, he’s just embarrassed. As others have said though, it may take a while to get implants unless you can afford private and he can’t stay off forever.

The issue is when is he going to decide he is ok to go back? Have you spoken to him about what he feels is a reasonable amount of time?

Yes he's only missed 3 days of school so far this week, but if the accident happened even midweek during half term it's now been 7 days.
As others have said waiting for his teeth to be fixed, especially if you can't afford private, could be a long wait. He isn't going to instantly get it resolved if that is what he is hoping for.
I think he would be better to go back sooner as the longer he leaves it the worse it will be in terms of catching up on learning and also friendship issues.

Could he have head trauma? When i had a bike accident as a child I was briefly knocked unconscious. I was 'depressed ' for weeks after the accident- in pain, didn't want to do anything, couldn't go to school. My parents were really worried as I was usually a very happy, chatty, busy child and I was like a ghost. They suspect it was head trauma (unfortunately they didn't take me to hospital so nothing proven...). It may be psychological (ie he is worried about rude comments etc) but it may be that he is in a lot of pain and struggling to be able to do anything. I would ask to go in for a meeting with the headteacher or HoY with your son and show them the extent of his injuries and how hard it is for him to go anywhere.

I would imagine if he does get marked down as unauthorised absence and you were to get a fine you could easily challenge it in court/with the local authority. Get lots of pictures of him and evidence as much as you can that he's just staying in the house and not himself. Perhaps you could ask the GP about a referral to a child psychologist for trauma, if you do think he is suffering psychologically. I doubt given waiting lists he'd see anyone anytime soon but it might help him if he did, and the GP referral would help you make your case to school.

I think it sounds like he should be in school now. Maybe a day or two off, but I don’t usually give mine days off for injuries.

My DS has had lots of sports related injuries (usually sprains but these can actually be more painful than a break) and it’s not practical to have time off for them all. Sometimes it’s needed me going in at lunch time with calpol (at primary). At secondary they can have paracetamol left with the desk, but he has a sprained/ possible slightly fractured foot in a boot at the moment - that means me having to take time out of my work day (and work later in the evening) to drive him in and out. Yes it’s annoying and it would be easier to keep him off but he needs his education!

This.
OP your issue really isn't the fact that his time off is being marked as unauthorised. Your issue is that he is flatly refusing to consider school or even discuss his concerns with you.

What has happened to him is awful, but life goes on, and if he opts out of school for a significant period of time, he will fall behind.

You need to speak to school and arrange for work to be sent. And he needs to speak to you about what timeframe he's thinking of, because if he says that he won't go back till his teeth are fixed, then you'll need to home-educate him.

Does he usually like school? What are his grades like? Can he afford to take several weeks out?

If I'd broken my wrist and had my front teeth smashed out last week, like fuck would I be going to work!

This attitude is why the country is in such a mess - he absolutely should be made to go to school - we're pandering too much to kids and this is why we have so many work shy YP.

@Frequency Tbh it's worrying that so many adults lack common sense, critical thinking skills and empathy.

"The Great British Race To The Bottom" - should be a weekly TV show hosted by Mumsnet 🫠

I think those who are adamant that the poor kid needs to be in school are only thinking of the missing teeth and not the pain, swelling, and trouble speaking and eating he will still have less than 7 days after the injury.

No adult, no matter how much of a martyr they are, would be at work in this state. Anyone who claims otherwise is lying.

Are people missing the time frame. He's missed 3 days. The injury only happened last week - it's still pretty new.

Yes, you can go to school with a fracture - but only once it has been assessed, stabilised and you have had some sort of conversation with school about how his pain will be managed, how he will be kept safe in the school environment.

He needs to avoid the rush in between lessons. He needs to have some sort of plan with the school if he is struggling with pain. He needs to have some help for writing/recording information if it's his writing hand.

I find the lack of sympathy for this poor boy who has suffered significant injuries quite sad.

I am absolutely certain that if this was an adult then workplaces would not be treating them this way - and you get more choice as to where you work.

That’s a fairly blunt bit of data.

Obviously at some level there’s a relationship between attendance and performance but it doesn’t necessarily follow that for any given child every additional day in school will result in better performance (or that missing a few days will make it worse).

I think this is a general problem in education that the focus is on driving up attendance without looking at the factors underlying poor attendance.

Weird isn't it!

If you can't deal with the refusal then you need to work with the school on it at the very least. Not just throw your hands up and go 'nevermind'.

I would also be having a firm conversation with your son that this is going to take months of no teeth and unfortunately life isn't kind enough to let you step off until you ready to get back on. Would I like it? Nope, I'd also hate it. But that's life and if you take your scooter to a skate park with no safety equipment on, then shit can happen.

Is there a pastoral care coordinator or similar at his school? My DS went through a bit of a tough time in year 7 and really didn't want to go back to school. I visited the school with him and had a meeting with her and she was really helpful and accommodating.

Ignore the school

You get to decide whether he is fit for school.

-Gosh, it´s a race to the bottom here.

Is it a dental hospital you have been referred to? If not, you'll need a referral from your dentist or an emergency dentist if you can find one?

I can't see how he can be well enough less than a week after a serious facial injury.

He must surely be in a lot of pain (which will affect concentration/ability to sleep) and must be having trouble speaking and eating.

What painkillers is he on @healingqueen ? Tramadol and the like make you very drowsy/sleepy for the first week or so.

Drive him there or take a taxi he can wear a balaclava or face mask.
And discuss phased return and home based learning zoom into lessons etc

Take him to school for a sit down with headteacher or head of year to talk it through. This can be arranged when kids have all gone in and wont be out and about.
They head can see for themselves and hear from.him the concerns