school say my son has to be in after his accident

healingqueen · 2026-02-25T13:26:55+00:00

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts. My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one) he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly. there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

Original poster

healingqueen · 06/03/2026 19:56

Thank you for your lovely comments I feel like I'm just winging it list the time 😅

I spoke to the school yesterday and told them he wouldn't be in for the rest of the week and we have agreed that he will be on a reduced timetable until the start of lunch from Monday and see how he does. He is only going to miss one lesson as there's only 1 after lunch and he does seem happy with that

OP posts:

Bippertyboo2 · 06/03/2026 19:06

I just wanted to say you've been amazing with all you've had going on lately. Your children are so lucky to have you in their corner, we'll done 💐

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 06/03/2026 18:43

Just wanted to wish your son a speedy recovery. He's got a good mum.
Trust your instincts on his recovery as you've been there at every step and know what he can and can't manage.

Thebigarsedbitch · 04/03/2026 21:14

Allseeingallknowing · 04/03/2026 20:18

But at 12 he is still growing, that’s why he can’t have implants yet.

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No probably not until he's 16 at the earliest.

Hoardasurass · 04/03/2026 20:19

Thebigarsedbitch · 04/03/2026 20:00

That's not the case any more - ithe screw can be inserted on the same day as an extraction and a temporary crown is affixed. This remains in place for three months and then it's replaced with a permanent crown. I had this done a couple of years ago. I've had several implants and the first ones, which were done 32 years ago ,are still going strong!

If the socket was damaged when the teeth were snapped off or in the extraction as is likely in this case due to the type of injury then no they can't, they need to let the bone heal 1st. Though in this case hes only 12 (I missed that) so he'll have to wait until hes older for implants unfortunately

Allseeingallknowing · 04/03/2026 20:18

Thebigarsedbitch · 04/03/2026 20:00

That's not the case any more - ithe screw can be inserted on the same day as an extraction and a temporary crown is affixed. This remains in place for three months and then it's replaced with a permanent crown. I had this done a couple of years ago. I've had several implants and the first ones, which were done 32 years ago ,are still going strong!

But at 12 he is still growing, that’s why he can’t have implants yet.

Thebigarsedbitch · 04/03/2026 20:00

That's not the case any more - ithe screw can be inserted on the same day as an extraction and a temporary crown is affixed. This remains in place for three months and then it's replaced with a permanent crown. I had this done a couple of years ago. I've had several implants and the first ones, which were done 32 years ago ,are still going strong!

Original poster

healingqueen · 04/03/2026 13:52

Allseeingallknowing · 04/03/2026 13:32

Don’t they have to be a certain age before implants can be done, the jaw fully grown? Is a bridge an option in the meantime?

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Thats what we were told the treatment will be temporary until all growth is finished

OP posts:

Allseeingallknowing · 04/03/2026 13:32

Hoardasurass · 03/03/2026 07:42

@healingqueen I have only read your updates so someone may have said this too you already.
Due to your sons age and it being 4 front teeth he will most likely be offered implants which will mean atleast a 6 month wait before they can start work due to healing time and then another 3-6 months healing time before the implanted screws are properly stable as the bone needs to heal itself after they've been screwed into it.
This means he could be a year or more before he has fully functioning front teeth again.
I hope all goes well with his op today

Don’t they have to be a certain age before implants can be done, the jaw fully grown? Is a bridge an option in the meantime?

Original poster

healingqueen · 04/03/2026 12:09

Yesterday was such a long day

The op went well and they are happy that it will heal properly he has to keep it elevated in a sling which he doesn't like but it went well

when he woke up however was horrible as soon as he woke up he was upset saying his arm hurt and he felt sick and he vomited a few times and the first anti sickness didn't help so he got more upset because the vomiting hurt his mouth / lip

they gave him another anti sickness which helped and he went to sleep for about 20 minutes and he was so much better when he woke up he’d obviously come around a little more

They wanted him to eat something before he was discharged which was difficult as they’d usually give toast or something but with his teeth they couldn't so we werent home until after 4 and he was exhausted (as was I)

When we got home he asked me to cuddle him which was out of the blue as he's nearly a teen but i guess the last few weeks have caught up with him so i enjoyed the cuddles as its not likely he will want to soon (as he hadnt for a long long time) and he fell asleep for an hour. ex was still here so he sorted the other dc with their tea etc and i just focused on ds

school have authorised it for today too so i just let him sleep and he didn't get up until after 9 so he mustve needed it, he seems ok today hes just resting and is complaining it hurts more now but they said its normal

i dont know what ill to about school tomorrow but ill just see how he is later / tomorrow morning

OP posts:

Ormally · 03/03/2026 09:24

He's really been great about the first return to school. Although the apprehension about the operation will have been heavily on his mind, I hope that his experiences at home have improved since he was really going from 1 pain relief dose to the next and that you can take a breath or 2 now, looking after him. Best of luck for today.

Hoardasurass · 03/03/2026 07:42

@healingqueen I have only read your updates so someone may have said this too you already.
Due to your sons age and it being 4 front teeth he will most likely be offered implants which will mean atleast a 6 month wait before they can start work due to healing time and then another 3-6 months healing time before the implanted screws are properly stable as the bone needs to heal itself after they've been screwed into it.
This means he could be a year or more before he has fully functioning front teeth again.
I hope all goes well with his op today

FussyFancyDragon · 03/03/2026 07:20

Thebigarsedbitch · 02/03/2026 23:59

I think anyone who sends their child to school on Monday after suffering a 'major' accident on Saturday is asking for major snark - it's hardly a kind or loving thing to do is it?

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It’s fine for you to think that. It’s hyperbolic to suggest that it will ruin the relationship going forward and that the child is probably already used to feeling unloved and neglected, and that overshadows any serious message you may have made.

Frequency · 03/03/2026 00:40

If he's worried about eating in school, I would look at getting some protein yoghurts and/or Huel-type drinks; they're more filling than regular yoghurts, as is Slimming World soup, oddly enough, but they need heating in a microwave. I'm not sure how warm they'd stay in a flask.

Talkingfrog · 03/03/2026 00:16

Glad he got on relatively ok today, and the school were being supportive. I think them actually seeing him on Friday may have helped them realise how bad he was, and better judge what support was needed. First day back will always be the worst. Hopefully bruising may have started to fade a bit over the next few days too. Hope all goes well for tomorrow, and he is ok on the return to school.

Thebigarsedbitch · 02/03/2026 23:59

FussyFancyDragon · 01/03/2026 10:16

Oh don’t be stupid. Just say you don’t agree with the poster without saying that they don’t love their kid. Makes your point of view just sound ridiculous by posting snarky stuff like that which obviously won’t be true.

Edited

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I think anyone who sends their child to school on Monday after suffering a 'major' accident on Saturday is asking for major snark - it's hardly a kind or loving thing to do is it?

Thebigarsedbitch · 02/03/2026 23:54

healingqueen · 02/03/2026 22:54

Thought i’d update as he went in today

I dropped him off after i dropped my younger dc off his HOY met him and gave him the option of going to the library instead of form but he said he wanted to go to form to get it over with, HOY took him to his form and ds said as soon as he walked in he was being asked if he was ok and a girl said “omg” the bruising is still quite bad and he is so self conscious but they were obviously concerned and not being horrible. The HOY told them he will take about it if he wants too and to give him space which helped but obviously not everyone in his year heard it so he got some of the same reactions in his classes and stares

he said the actual lessons weren't that bad he had a laptop to do his work

he didn't eat much of the lunch i packed because he said the canteen was busy and he didn't want more people (also different year groups)to see him “like this”he just ate his yogurt so he was starving this afternoon the library is a zero food rule apparently

he was also upset because he was alone in the library and he thinks that means no one wants to be near him/ seen with him

he said after lunch he started feeling tired and he was in pain, I picked him up at about 2:40 as agreed and he was exhausted and fell asleep in the car (until his siblings were picked up and in the car)

he's nervous about tomorrow he said mainly about the anaesthetic and not the procedure, he won't be able to eat or drink in the morning which he isn't going to like 🙃 he had an early night tonight and i probably should do the same as i have a feeling it’s going to be a long day i’m nervous too but trying not to show it

Hoping he goes down relatively early so it’s over and done with

It will be better now that the first day back is over OP and kudos to your son for fronting it out. I think this completely vindicates your decision to keep him at home until he felt ready to cope with what must have been a difficult and tiring day. I hope all goes well tomorrow and that his pain is manageable. Get a good night's sleep if you can - you've had a dreadful few weeks too.

DryadsRest · 02/03/2026 23:48

You sound like such a lovely mum! Hoping all your family get on ok in the next few days, and I think your son did so well to go to school today. Sounds like the school are more supportive now….all the best for tomorrow

Original poster

healingqueen · 02/03/2026 22:54

Thought i’d update as he went in today

I dropped him off after i dropped my younger dc off his HOY met him and gave him the option of going to the library instead of form but he said he wanted to go to form to get it over with, HOY took him to his form and ds said as soon as he walked in he was being asked if he was ok and a girl said “omg” the bruising is still quite bad and he is so self conscious but they were obviously concerned and not being horrible. The HOY told them he will take about it if he wants too and to give him space which helped but obviously not everyone in his year heard it so he got some of the same reactions in his classes and stares

he said the actual lessons weren't that bad he had a laptop to do his work

he didn't eat much of the lunch i packed because he said the canteen was busy and he didn't want more people (also different year groups)to see him “like this”he just ate his yogurt so he was starving this afternoon the library is a zero food rule apparently

he was also upset because he was alone in the library and he thinks that means no one wants to be near him/ seen with him

he said after lunch he started feeling tired and he was in pain, I picked him up at about 2:40 as agreed and he was exhausted and fell asleep in the car (until his siblings were picked up and in the car)

he's nervous about tomorrow he said mainly about the anaesthetic and not the procedure, he won't be able to eat or drink in the morning which he isn't going to like 🙃 he had an early night tonight and i probably should do the same as i have a feeling it’s going to be a long day i’m nervous too but trying not to show it

Hoping he goes down relatively early so it’s over and done with

OP posts:

FussyFancyDragon · 01/03/2026 10:16

Thebigarsedbitch · 27/02/2026 19:28

Your poor child - let's hope that this doesn't have serious repercussions on your relationship in the future. Having said that, he's probably used to having a completely unempathetic parent who has little love for him..

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Oh don’t be stupid. Just say you don’t agree with the poster without saying that they don’t love their kid. Makes your point of view just sound ridiculous by posting snarky stuff like that which obviously won’t be true.

Original poster

healingqueen · 28/02/2026 17:11

thank you all, dd is getting on great and im incredibly proud of her but still cant help but feel guilty for not doing more and baby has definitely brought a little happiness during this and my younger one's adore him

ds seems a bit better today pain wise the pain meds seem to be helping and he had been waking at 6 the past few days and asking for calpol and then going back to sleep whereas today he slept in til half 9 so he mustve needed it. he still doesnt want to go out i asked if he wanted to come for a walk to the park as i was taking the little ones and he said no which i am concerned about. I'm unsure if he would wear a mask to school as it might bring more attention to him

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Fearlesssloth · 28/02/2026 15:01

Sorry for the unrelated question, but is the absence only counted as unauthorised/do you only get fined if it’s less than 5 days in one go or 5 days across the whole year?

ContentedAlpaca · 28/02/2026 14:54

Depends whether he has lacerations in the area covered.

ChillingWithMySnowmies · 28/02/2026 10:57

ContentedAlpaca · 28/02/2026 09:06

Sounds like a good idea but I would be concerned that the moisture created with a face mask wouldnt be conducive to healing and could pose an infection risk..
Also there has been a lot of discussion about the impact of mask wearing on dental health.

Moisture? It's his inner lip and gums healing.. how much more moisture do you think wearing a mask is going to add to his inner mouth?

Also the mask issues around dental health are around dry mouth which can be directly combated by drinking and chewing gum to increase saliva production alongside regular cleaning. and that is PROLONGED mask wearing, like in medical people wearing them all day.

So which is it? Too much moisture or not enough?

User1367349 · 28/02/2026 10:50

Goodness me @healingqueen you’ve had a nightmare few weeks. Take care of yourself and your brood and do whatever is right for your family. For what it’s worth, there is no way my child would in school right now, but if he feels better the week after next, maybe he could try some short days. Don’t let school bully you.