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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you share something with your colleagues that was told to you in confidence?

63 replies

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 09:38

Materially it doesn’t affect me, as I was lucky enough to secure a job somewhere else.

However, I do know it will directly affect them (how much I don’t know), but I’m also aware that knowing early will make little to no difference.

So AIBU for considering telling them? It definitely feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders.

OP posts:
onelumporthree · 25/02/2026 13:21

Telling them will not improve their situation. Most of them probably have a strong inkling that things are going tits up anyway. Just be professional and keep quiet.

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 13:13

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 25/02/2026 12:48

Well if they can’t resign then it’s better that the company crumbles. So why make the atmosphere even more toxic before that happens? Just move on.

It’s already pretty toxic. People cry in meetings, others have been put on PIPs for no apparent reason.

We didn’t get our bonus and no explanation was given.

I’ve told my friend that for her own mental
health she should go off work for at least a week (but I don’t think they can in the US so easily).

I don’t think it will make it worse, but it won’t make it better either.

OP posts:
Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 25/02/2026 12:48

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 12:42

that wouldn’t happen because

a) the uk based ones are under 2 years

b) the US based one can’t resign because they wouldn’t be able to claim unemployment.

So people would still “wait it out” or look for another job. The company is crumbling anyway

Well if they can’t resign then it’s better that the company crumbles. So why make the atmosphere even more toxic before that happens? Just move on.

CloakedInGucci · 25/02/2026 12:43

I have a colleague I’m close to, we’re friends outside of work, I know her children, I know she’s discrete. I would tell her if I found out her job was at risk.
But other colleagues, I’d worry about it getting out that I had told people.

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 12:42

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 25/02/2026 12:40

Agree with those saying to keep your mouth shut.
It’s highly unprofessional of you (still matters, even if you’re leaving). And actually just unkind to have people left in limbo longer than necessary.
You also don’t know the full details. “At risk” of redundancy doesn’t mean they will be made redundant. Sometimes other roles can be found/solutions met internally but the process still has to be followed.
Also, even if someone is made redundant, knowing and stewing for a few extra days with no details not only causes unnecessary stress, it could lead someone to make a decision that longer term is worse for them. What if someone who wasn’t going to be made redundant jumps ship to something they hate because they reacted to your negativity and half-facts? Also think about the financial impact of jumping ship too soon when they could be in for a nice payout if made redundant. You just don’t know, so the decent thing to do is keep your mouth shut and get on with your own life. You’re moving on anyway, so don’t let the “power” of knowing something others don’t go to your head. In other words, and not meaning to sound unkind, but mind your own business and stop stirring. Leaving unnecessary drama behind you is a sure way of making sure people are glad you’re gone.

that wouldn’t happen because

a) the uk based ones are under 2 years

b) the US based one can’t resign because they wouldn’t be able to claim unemployment.

So people would still “wait it out” or look for another job. The company is crumbling anyway

OP posts:
Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 25/02/2026 12:40

Agree with those saying to keep your mouth shut.
It’s highly unprofessional of you (still matters, even if you’re leaving). And actually just unkind to have people left in limbo longer than necessary.
You also don’t know the full details. “At risk” of redundancy doesn’t mean they will be made redundant. Sometimes other roles can be found/solutions met internally but the process still has to be followed.
Also, even if someone is made redundant, knowing and stewing for a few extra days with no details not only causes unnecessary stress, it could lead someone to make a decision that longer term is worse for them. What if someone who wasn’t going to be made redundant jumps ship to something they hate because they reacted to your negativity and half-facts? Also think about the financial impact of jumping ship too soon when they could be in for a nice payout if made redundant. You just don’t know, so the decent thing to do is keep your mouth shut and get on with your own life. You’re moving on anyway, so don’t let the “power” of knowing something others don’t go to your head. In other words, and not meaning to sound unkind, but mind your own business and stop stirring. Leaving unnecessary drama behind you is a sure way of making sure people are glad you’re gone.

5128gap · 25/02/2026 10:45

If you have been trusted with something in a professional capacity, unless it's something that falls under whistle blowing, you should always keep it confidential. If doing so causes you too much of an emotional burden because you're the type of person who's feelings for colleagues conflicts with your professional responsibilities, then that's something you need to keep in mind for future roles. Avoid positions where this is possible, or make it clear to managers not to give you this type of information.

LoveItaly · 25/02/2026 10:40

Shoxfordian · 25/02/2026 09:41

No because you should keep your integrity and not share information given to you in confidence

Absolutely.

IntelCoreStrength · 25/02/2026 10:39

WallaceinAnderland · 25/02/2026 10:32

Once people know they will be worried. You won't be able to answer any of their questions. They will be in limbo for 3 days. Why would you even consider being so mean to them just so that you can spread juicy gossip

Edited

Hear hear, that’s exactly how I felt when this happened to me. I consider the woman who told me to be a vindictive bitch who only thought about herself - glad she was able to get the “weight off her shoulders” by imploding my world.

onelumporthree · 25/02/2026 10:35

Your colleagues don't know you know. They will not feel betrayed by you if you say nothing. When the news comes out you act shocked and appalled. That's it.

There is absolutely nothing to be gained from telling anyone. Keep your trap shut.

BennyHenny · 25/02/2026 10:32

FasterMichelin · 25/02/2026 10:31

If you tell them, what are you thinking will happen next?

Theyll want answers they can’t get yet (frustration, anger).

Theyll raise it and be asked who told them (very bad on you and again, no answers for them).

If it’s only 3 days, what difference does that make? They look for a job today, or on Monday?

You won’t be helping them by telling them. Unless the whole company is going down the pan, you’ll be doing them no favours.

I agree with this, you’re putting them in a more stressful situation until they get the information from those fully in the know. Can’t believe you’d even consider it to be honest!

WallaceinAnderland · 25/02/2026 10:32

Once people know they will be worried. You won't be able to answer any of their questions. They will be in limbo for 3 days. Why would you even consider being so mean to them just so that you can spread juicy gossip

FasterMichelin · 25/02/2026 10:31

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 10:00

I feel like knowing 3 working days before the restructuring happens won’t make much difference IMO.

However I know my colleagues will definitely feel crushed.

If you tell them, what are you thinking will happen next?

Theyll want answers they can’t get yet (frustration, anger).

Theyll raise it and be asked who told them (very bad on you and again, no answers for them).

If it’s only 3 days, what difference does that make? They look for a job today, or on Monday?

You won’t be helping them by telling them. Unless the whole company is going down the pan, you’ll be doing them no favours.

onelumporthree · 25/02/2026 10:29

@Givenup2026 I have been in this position, and known about future redundancies and branch closures. It's not nice, not nice at all.

You keep your mouth firmly shut.

Work9to5 · 25/02/2026 10:27

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 09:43

There’s going to be a massive restructuring coming their way. Management lines will be changed (and some will be completely removed).

It was implied there would be redundancies (and I know of one of the affected).

Presumably you know this because of the role you're in? Where You're trusted to be discreet and trustworthy.

It's hard but say nothing.

IntelCoreStrength · 25/02/2026 10:26

No. Absolutely do not tell them. It’s so bloody unprofessional. I had similar happen to me, in that someone found out I was going to be made redundant and decided to “warn” me. It was horrible knowing in advance. But do you know what? When she told me I went straight to HR about it. It didn’t prevent it from happening but at least they knew what untrustworthy shit stirrer she was. I still feel pissed off when I think about the stress she caused me, when she should have kept her big mouth shut.

ChequerToRed · 25/02/2026 10:23

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 10:03

That’s what I got told! But other redundancies people just disappear overnight and they’re not even allowed to say goodbye. So it feels odd that they’ll announce this one.

Three days? Then don’t as it’ll make no difference to them, they’ll still be in the same boat. Besides, if it’s anything like the company my DH was just laid off from there’ll be bigger fish to fry down the line as it’s pretty obvious the place is going to fold or be asset stripped by the end of the next financial quarter, as a little online research has revealed they’re in big financial doo-doo, a return to reasonable profitability in Q1 is unlikely as they're leaking clients like a sieve, and creditors are closing in.
Just be glad you’re out of there.

WallyHilloughby · 25/02/2026 10:20

Nope. If it was something so important I needed to share it I wouldn’t be telling someone I would keep it confidential.
otherwise anything I’m told in confidence stays confidential as I would hate to be a snakey person

lifeisgoodrightnow · 25/02/2026 10:17

No - word gets around and your new employer won’t trust you if they find out

Butchyrestingface · 25/02/2026 10:16

How on earth will knowing 3 days in advance benefit them in any way?

Hoardasurass · 25/02/2026 10:16

Your leaving and wont be working with this person and 3 days warning is about as useful as a chocolate fire guard to them.
However if you break confidentiality it could seriously affect your reputation and career if it gets out.
Stay silent

LadyLolaRuben · 25/02/2026 10:15

No, telling them will make no difference if its being announced in 3 days time. I take it the announcement is being made on Friday! I hate that. I always make announcements mid week to give people time to process in work time and be in the company of other affected colleagues for peer support.

Sounds like you dropped lucky OP

janietreemore · 25/02/2026 10:15

You can keep quiet for 3 days. It won't help your colleagues to know 3 days early.

BauhausOfEliott · 25/02/2026 10:13

Givenup2026 · 25/02/2026 10:00

I feel like knowing 3 working days before the restructuring happens won’t make much difference IMO.

However I know my colleagues will definitely feel crushed.

Three days?? Of course you shouldn't say anything. You'll just be giving them three days of extra pain in which they'll be able to do nothing. They won't even be able to ask any questions about the detail of redundancy packages etc. You'll just be giving them all the stress of redundancy, but without the details and certainty to help them actually plan anything.

Seriously, keep your gob shut. You'd be an arsehole to tell them.

GarlicBound · 25/02/2026 10:10

NuffSaidSam · 25/02/2026 10:01

Omg if it's three days just keep your mouth shut!

Yep! I was on the side of telling them, because you're already leaving and it's important information. But three days isn't long enough to take action; you'd only be causing an extra three days of stress.

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