Leaving new job

It would be worth speaking to HR about a more flexible approach to working from home in light of your likely impending separation from your husband as your child care needs will change. Also, if you were sold the job as hybrid then 5 days in the office is not a reasonable expectation. You have nothing to lose by asking nicely and they may be helpful and supportive. If not, you would not be wrong to look for something else which would fit your needs better. Good luck, it must be a very hard time but you will get through it.

I had a very similar experience and ended up going back to my old job, with a pay rise, after just 4 months of the new role. Keep in touch with your old boss - their offer to someone else may not work out, and even if that person takes the job they may not pass probation etc.

Also clarify with your manager what exactly the 'hybrid' in your contract means if you have been in the office 5 days last week. Can you not just block out in your calendar the days you will be wfh? Companies these days usually have an anchor day for each team so that people are seeing each other, then you can choose the other days you go in, do they not do this?

You can also totally just start looking for a new job. Probation period is as much for you as it is for them. If they have advertised as hybrid but actually you're doing more time in office than not, then there is absolutely no problem with you deciding this isn't for you and going somewhere else.

All the extra money is useless if you are commuting more and seeing your kids less, in my opinion.

Also working in an accountancy practice. Hybrid working is offered to all senior level staff and above at 2 days per week wfh. This is outlined to all new staff and is only available after probation, no wfh at all during this period. I'd ask for a copy of their policy

I think you should seek some legal advice - do not let your husband know about the meeting.

I would concerned that if you are the much higher earner and you have a pattern of paying all the bills and giving him money that you have created a “reasonable expectation” that could lead to needing to pay him spousal support. Assuming you are in England & Wales, it is absolutely possible for the higher-earning spouse to be ordered to pay spousal maintenance, even if they are the primary parent in a custody agreement.

The court treats spousal maintenance and child arrangements as legally separate issues. Get advice if things are going down the tubes. Stop giving him money and put it into an account with just your name on it or your pension might be a safer place for it (no guarantees).

They can expect, but they do not have the right to have it off over others.

You cannot expect childless or those with older children not to have time off during the school holidays if needed.

If distance from home is the only reason that makes this new job unwanted and you want to start afresh without your partner, would you be able to maybe just end things, move closer to the place of work with the child in a new nursery/ school? And in the meantime make some childcare arrangements that would suit you and your child?

Speak to manager and say the job is advertised as hybrid so how do they see it working? Once you get more established in the role and systems next month then just work at home.

stop giving your husband money for his business. As he’s self employed he will try and claim half of everything that is yours including pension so speak to a financial expert and see if your contributions to business count for something.

So your contract says “hybrid” but doesn’t clarify how many days wfh? If that’s the case, put your own plan in place and start working from home more. Are they checking how many days you go in the office?

Needs of the business

You are employed to work not be with your child

You should have checked everything before accepting a new job

Not the end of the world. For various reasons it may still not land. Meanwhile progress on your new employer (flex request) and let the old ones know your are interested in the same/new vacancies.

Whoa! Put in a flexible working request for 2 days in office before you decide what to do. Good luck!

Here's what you do, step by step

1. ask your new job is there is flexibility on wfh arrangements, explain care situation.
2. if the response is negative, contact your old job and see if they'll have you back.
3. make practical plans to leave your husband.

What your husband will or won't let you do is irrelevant. You are leaving him and he has no say. Your focus should be on creating a sustainable life for you and your child.

We all mess up once in a while, don't beat yourself up or dwell on it. Just focus on how you fix it.

Why did you leave? Just for extra money? How much extra?

Please approach your old manager and check. You have nothing to lose. Flex is priceless when kids are young.

ignore the husband and start planning to leave him - maybe not now until the job situation settles.

how old is your child?

In that case you've nothing to lose by approaching them and asking if you could go back. Your husband can't stop you.

Don't be so ridiculous. If you're intelligent enough to earn £50k, you're intelligent enough to know that nobody can control whether you work or not. Your husband may be a dick but you need to own your own mistakes. You're also intelligent enough to know that just leaving your job is a stupid idea. By all means start looking for a more suitable job but just leaving without a job to go to is crazy (and irresponsible) in this climate. You have a child to support, how are you going to do that when you are not earning?

With regard to hybrid, you should always ask but that ship has sailed on this job. Research shows that hybrid is on average 3 days in work/2 days at home. That's an average so you may find roles that offer more but don't bank on there being many.

H can’t stop you leaving.

If you could go back to your old job would you? Did you leave on good terms?
I’ve known people who left and after a few weeks asked to come back, is that an option?
swallow your pride and contact your old manager and say you have made a mistake. They might not have filled your old position.

What level are you at and where abouts are you based (country/city)
I'm wondering if that's a good wage for your role or if maybe you might have lost some confidence and taken a bit of a crap role

Yes, they might want to take school holidays off, but everyone has an equal right to book the holidays they want.

exactly

I do have children but never ever expected to get school holidays just because that’s when I wanted them ideally