Man in ladies swimming pool showers with his phone out.

Maybe he didn’t realise he was in women’s showers if the rest of the changing rooms are unisex

Like I said he may not of known showers were single sex if the rest of the changing rooms are unisex

I do think you should have reported him OP. In fact you should start a paper trail. Email the business to firstly let them know that there was a man with his phone out in the female showers and secondly get them to clarify their policy. If it happens again, you can refer back to this and start building a bit of evidence.

And this is where we are with the trans madness: women feel worried about asserting perfectly reasonable boundaries for safety, safeguarding, dignity and privacy.

We live in a world where MEN (however they "identify") commit 98% of sexual crime.

We live in a world where the so-called "victimless" crimes of voyeurism, and flashing, are committed by men, who may go on to more serious assaults in the escalation of their sexual/power thrill.

YANBU @CreativeNative and the man should not have been there. He should have realised - by using his eyes - that there were only women & children in that space.

But men assume that the world is organised around them.

In our changing rooms (there's female, male and family) it's like a signal free zone. Well, obviously can't speak for the male - but no signal, no WiFi, nothing. They've probably done something to the build to make it that way, because every other area the signal springs back into life.

The man is either a perv or a fucking idiot, either way he'll need addressing and he'll likely more listen to management because he won't be able to roll his eyes at them or tell them to fuck off, the way he could do at some random woman telling him off.

Not that we shouldn't be able to call out that behavior, because of course we should, but it's likely the man just won't care or get very offended that we're accusing him, tell us to mind our own business/fuck off, and carry on doing it anyway.

This thread is both interesting and sad in the fact that the op didn't actually say or do anything at the time.

And that some (men?:) post many, many times downplaying or ridiculing any concerns.

We really need to be a bit more pro active.

I know it's not easy for some people to do, but we need to be a bit braver to safeguard children/each other.

And people who insist on actively minimising any worries could ask themselves why.

Which can all be done when not in the immediate vicinity of children showering and changing…

none of those are so highly important that the must be done when in an area of privacy

As a mum who takes a daughter into the changing area/showers around swimming lessons, there is zero reason to have my phone out in that area.
I can check my phone before we go in and after I leave if it’s that important.

and it’s exactly the situation for every other parent or carer, male or female.
I would have just asked him to put his phone in his pocket until he was finished in the area or if they should’ve been in different showers, I would have politely pointed that out to him. Maybe it was his first time taking the child to the lesson and it was a simple mistake. But either way, no need for a phone to be out

None of those are acceptable in a changing room.

The set up sounds bad too. If it’s women’s only it needs a door with a sign.

I think the question is more, why would any responsible decent man be doing any of these things, when unless he lives under a rock, must surely be aware that men use their phones in these areas for nefarious purposes, and that a sight of a man with his phone out may well cause alarm. If men normalise phones in areas where children are undressed because they can't keep off them for a few minutes, then it makes it easier for other men to use them to photograph or film the children.

Why would anyone have their phone out in any municipal showers when kids were about?

This. If its a young child, under 7/8ish and needing help, then should be helping. If they don't need help, then wait outside.

This drives me so mad, seeing older boys in girls changing areas under excuse that their mum is with them. Over 8 they should be able to get themselves changed in male areas (unless need assistance due to physical or learning disability, and in which case can use disabled changing facilities). Just another example of females being made to share their single sex spaces.

Could well be innocent but staff need to speak to him. I’d have told him politely this was the girls only block, as he likely is unaware.

Astonishing! Why do so many women willingly make excuses for pervy men?

Those women that find themselves automatically doing this need to grow up and have a word with themselves. Sexual violence against women is on the increase and your misogynist attitude doesn’t help.

Most pools are like that now? With individual cubicles

Yes! And there are fairies at the bottom of may garden too.

What are you talking about? He was in the women's section. He could have easily wom by being in the men’s.

I'm sorry, but women - ie YOU - need to start being brave and calling this kind of behaviour out at the time, not coming to Mumsnet with it.

'Excuse me, this is the ladies changing/shower area' or 'excuse me, please put your phone away while children are in the shower', etc.

It doesn't have to be rude or aggressive, simply firm and no-nonsense. He's probably just an unthinking pillock, but he may have been a pervert.

I've no sympathy for this man, and there are no excuses.
Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows you don't use phones, or even carry one, in a shower/changing area where the opposite sex is present.
Never mind the fact that he seems dim enough not to realise that he and his son were in the wrong showers.

And he needed to be in the womens showers because....? Honestly, it seems like some women will happily risk exposing their children to a pervert in order to give some random guy, who is behaving unusually at best, the benefit of the doubt.
He shouldn't have been there, let alone with his phone out, I'm pretty sure thats a request men can manage.

Put that situation in the boys / men’s showers (which is where he should have been anyway) and I guarantee one of the men would have challenged him on it. Even just a “hey mate, no phones in here.”

He’s possibly a pervert. He’s possibly a clueless, self absorbed idiot. But people like him need to be loudly and firmly told to stop trampling over social boundaries or they’ll carry on.

What conceivable logical reason is there to have a mobile phone out in a gym changing room shower? He’s either up to something or (like many) so utterly addicted to his phone that he needs it with him every second of every day.

Is the signage clear enough that it's the women's area? If so, you should have pointed that out to him. He may not have seen it.

the point is: they SHOULD be thinking. And not being in the womens' area.