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AIBU?

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Original poster

Any Catholics here?

117 replies

Rubyupbeat · 24/02/2026 18:01

I am a lapsed Catholic, but dearly wish to worship in our local church. It's been so long that I have forgotten what is expected of me.
Should I make an appointment to see the priest? Or just go along to mass and see how that goes.
Also, and this is very silly I know, but I have very bad knees and can't kneel, is there an alternative for that?
Please don't give all the negative and anti God and Catholic comments please, that's not what this post is for, thank you.

OP posts:
Rainbow1901 · 24/02/2026 21:21

Grew up as a Catholic having done the whole thing of baptism, holy communion, confirmation, attending catholic schools, brownies, guides, joined the choir and attended social functions run by the many groups that used the facilities.
Now lapsed, but did attend more frequently while GD was going through her Holy Communion programme last year - strangely enough - no matter which church I attend - it feels like coming home. Daft but comforting.

Xenia · 24/02/2026 21:16

Just turn up. Also lots of people don't kneel who have bad knees. It is no big deal.

Badgerandfox227 · 24/02/2026 21:15

This is a very timely post, I’m also a lapsed Catholic and have been thinking about returning for some time. Main problem is finding a service that works with my children’s clubs. I also never had a Confirmation ceremony so I guess I need to go a few times and then speak to the Priest about how to do that.

Fraudornot · 24/02/2026 21:13

@Recycledblondeits in the catechism.

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 21:10

JaneJeffer · 24/02/2026 20:44

Judge not lest ye be judged

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Pointing that out in hope the person takes a moment to reflect on that is not a judgement. Certainly no more a judgement than your comment

Recycledblonde · 24/02/2026 21:08

Fraudornot · 24/02/2026 21:00

If a Catholic deliberately misses mass and doesn’t go to confession they are in mortal sin and if they die will go to hell - it’s in the catechism. And that’s why you can’t take communion. There are so many rules like this that congregations don’t know it’s such a confusing denomination.

My husband says that’s really old school and you have to be at least 90 to believe it. Technically correct but no one takes any notice of it now. Just that they haven’t got round to repealing it yet.

Recycledblonde · 24/02/2026 21:05

My DH is catholic, attends mass regularly but hasn’t been to confession since he was 15. I go occasionally, as a none catholic I don’t take communion and I can’t kneel due to bad knees. No one stands at the door checking you in so just turn up.

Fraudornot · 24/02/2026 21:00

If a Catholic deliberately misses mass and doesn’t go to confession they are in mortal sin and if they die will go to hell - it’s in the catechism. And that’s why you can’t take communion. There are so many rules like this that congregations don’t know it’s such a confusing denomination.

Clarabell77 · 24/02/2026 20:54

northernballer · 24/02/2026 20:33

Nope, and I went to mass every week until I was 18, took communion each time and went to confession maybe twice. I did my first communion, confession and am confirmed as well! My mum was a single parent though and still took communion so we are probably just terrible Catholics all round.

Anyway OP I hope it goes well for you.

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Sorry, I wasn’t being judgy. This was just something I remember being taken really seriously when I was young. I’m quite old though! I don’t think there’s any rules about single parents.

illbetheresunorrain · 24/02/2026 20:47

you can go in and out of any catholic church and nobody will bat an eye lid

JaneJeffer · 24/02/2026 20:44

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 20:12

You want the fruit but don't care for the tree

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Judge not lest ye be judged

Shockhorror22 · 24/02/2026 20:44

Recently returned lapsed Catholic. Slightly different to you in that I did know the parish, the priests, quite a few of the congregation, so I was confident of being welcomed back. If you don’t know them, I’d wait to introduce myself - like someone else said you need to find a place/priest you like. And don’t worry about getting stuff wrong - it’s being there that counts.

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 20:38

Cherrysoup · 24/02/2026 20:33

Tosh. I’m Catholic born and bred, properly brought up in the religion. I do not ‘partake of the fruit’ but would if I felt like it. I merely accompany family who I’d spend the whole time with anyway to Mass possibly twice a year. No need to be bollocking me when I used my experience to try to encourage the OP back to Church. Ha, not very Christian of you! 🤣

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I am not bollocking anyone! It's just a statement of fact

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 20:37

Raera · 24/02/2026 20:14

Ouch
All welcome at our church

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I am not saying people are not welcome. I am just remarking on an interesting phenomenon

northernballer · 24/02/2026 20:35

Handeyethingyowl · 24/02/2026 20:32

I have also only ever been twice @northernballer

I always take communion if I go. Just always have and DM would probably be sniffy if I didn’t!

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That makes me feel better, thank you!

Clearly we have nothing to confess:-)

northernballer · 24/02/2026 20:33

Clarabell77 · 24/02/2026 19:33

I thought this was one of the basics of Roman Catholicism that everyone would know.

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Nope, and I went to mass every week until I was 18, took communion each time and went to confession maybe twice. I did my first communion, confession and am confirmed as well! My mum was a single parent though and still took communion so we are probably just terrible Catholics all round.

Anyway OP I hope it goes well for you.

Cherrysoup · 24/02/2026 20:33

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 20:12

You want the fruit but don't care for the tree

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Tosh. I’m Catholic born and bred, properly brought up in the religion. I do not ‘partake of the fruit’ but would if I felt like it. I merely accompany family who I’d spend the whole time with anyway to Mass possibly twice a year. No need to be bollocking me when I used my experience to try to encourage the OP back to Church. Ha, not very Christian of you! 🤣

Handeyethingyowl · 24/02/2026 20:32

northernballer · 24/02/2026 19:25

I had no idea you had to go to confession to take communion? I've only been to confession twice in my entire life and would take communion if I went to mass now even though I've not been a regular churchgoers since I was 18 - I had no idea that was wrong!

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I have also only ever been twice @northernballer

I always take communion if I go. Just always have and DM would probably be sniffy if I didn’t!

Handeyethingyowl · 24/02/2026 20:27

I go only when I visit my mum. Never discussed it with the priest, they just say hello on the way out. I haven’t been to confession since I was a child and nobody has ever once mentioned this.

Triskellion75 · 24/02/2026 20:19

Lots of online Masses every day so you could always follow one or two before Sunday to see how the translation has changed?

Don't worry about any of it, just go! ❤️

Raera · 24/02/2026 20:14

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 20:12

You want the fruit but don't care for the tree

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Ouch
All welcome at our church

BlueJuniper94 · 24/02/2026 20:12

Cherrysoup · 24/02/2026 19:23

No offence, I wasn’t hoping someone could help me accept that you can will it/want it/imagine it. I’m not interested in deepening my faith. Never believed in it. I quite like sitting with family, multiple children, the social aspect, I suppose.

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You want the fruit but don't care for the tree

Silverfoxette · 24/02/2026 20:11

Dontlletmedownbruce · 24/02/2026 19:15

Best of luck OP. I'm actually a little jealous, I'd like to find my faith but it's just not there for me. I go to mass occasionally and for family events but would love a spiritual connection.

you could try asking for it. Not being funny, have an honest conversation with God, ask him to reveal himself to you and see what happens 🙏🏻

momtoboys · 24/02/2026 20:10

Unless it is a very small church I would just go. Don't worry about kneeling. Many people don't now. I hope you enjoy your experience.

MakeMineAMilkyTea · 24/02/2026 20:08

Just go to church and get the vibe of the priest. Our last parish priest I don’t gel with, but our new one is a hoot!