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Original poster

To go on the jab for my 7 year old

114 replies

Wheredidallthetimego · 24/02/2026 11:17

My Dd turns 8 in the summer. She’s very sweet, but has recently stopped wanting to hold my hand when we’re out and says she feels like she feels embarrassed by me and that she feels like i’m fat but i’m not. She says this quietly and says sorry afterwards. It makes me feel really shit, but I don’t let her know/see this. I have talked to her lots about how it doesn’t matter what a person looks like, but it’s how they are/what’s inside that counts etc, but she still seems to focus on looks a little. The other day she said it was embarrassing as I was wearing ballet flat’s with jeans and how why don’t I want to wear dresses in summer etc.
I’m a size 16-18 and wasn’t back in the day and know I need to lose weight. I would like to do it for myself first and foremost, but this idea that she could be embarrassed/ashamed of me just cuts through me 😔
She was never like this before or even noticed how I looked, is this normal at her age?

OP posts:
Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 24/02/2026 12:28

Wheredidallthetimego · 24/02/2026 12:27

Thanks everyone,

She absolutely has no negative discussion or even discussion at home about appearance etc, it’s very strange to me too. I am very unconcerned with appearance, barely wear make up these days, don’t discuss appearance
The only thing she’s ever seen, which i’m not keen on, is something high on kids Netflix-can’t remember the name, but it’s awful-all looks based, she rarely watches it and it’s aimed at young girls, can’t see her being that influenced by it

Why are you letting her watch something awful?

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 24/02/2026 12:28

I think your priority is not to go on jabs or change your outfits but to talk firmly to your child about her attitudes. She needs to know that it is not acceptable to criticise someone’s appearance or clothing choices even if she adds ‘sorry’ at the end. She needs to know that the important aspects of a person are how kind they are, how much of a good mum/friend etc and nothing to do with their outward appearance. I would nip this in the bud now op, otherwise she’s going to grow up being extremely judgemental of others and it will cost her friendships

Original poster
Wheredidallthetimego · 24/02/2026 12:27

Thanks everyone,

She absolutely has no negative discussion or even discussion at home about appearance etc, it’s very strange to me too. I am very unconcerned with appearance, barely wear make up these days, don’t discuss appearance
The only thing she’s ever seen, which i’m not keen on, is something high on kids Netflix-can’t remember the name, but it’s awful-all looks based, she rarely watches it and it’s aimed at young girls, can’t see her being that influenced by it

OP posts:
HoskinsChoice · 24/02/2026 12:25

Forget the jabs. Your priority is what you are doing about your child's disgusting attitude. She needs educating and disciplining. Going on the jabs is almost an acceptance and validation of her opinions.

Applespearsandpeaches · 24/02/2026 11:50

No you shouldn’t have medical treatment because of the opinions of your small child.

You do need to get to the bottom of things though - I’d be very surprised if either of my kids ever mentioned my weight or physical appearance at age 8 and I’d want to know where it was coming from and what they’d been watching on screens or heard from other people. It’s normal for some kids that age not to want to hold your hand but because they don’t want to be babied not because you’re wearing ballet flats with jeans!

Magnificentkitteh · 24/02/2026 11:44

I would be quite firm about this. We do not withhold our affection or association with people based on appearance. She might be coming to the age where holding hands is a bit embarrassing but someone's weight should never be embarrassing. I am sorry OP, that's very hurtful.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/02/2026 11:40

Why’s she so interested in what people look like and what they’re wearing? She’s 7 years old. Does she hear adults around her mentioning people’s size or clothing? I’ve got a similar aged daughter and I can’t imagine her thinking any of this never mind her saying it out loud.

ElishaFelisha · 24/02/2026 11:40

You’re not even that fat. It won’t change how your DD feels. You need to get to the bottom of it.

SilenceInside · 24/02/2026 11:37

I think there are issues that you need to deal with around your DD and the way that women/girls are discussed and treated due to weight and appearance. Her deciding that you can't wear jeans and ballet flats, and should be wearing a dress, is a bit odd and I'd want to unpack where on earth all these ideas were coming from. I would also be very robust about people wearing what they choose, and not what other people think they should. Especially if those ideas about what's "appropriate" are sexist.

Deciding to start taking a prescription medication for obesity is not a decision that needs the opinions of a 7 year old factored into that decision making process.

Original poster
Wheredidallthetimego · 24/02/2026 11:31

I suppose she’s maybe just starting to notice/pay attention to appearance? She says she’s sorry but she feels like i’m a bit fat. I have said, well maybe I am and that it should make no difference how I or anyone looks and we all have different bodies etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheredidallthetimego · 24/02/2026 11:29

Moen · 24/02/2026 11:23

I would want to know where this is coming from.

Has another child said something to her about your appearance?

No, I definitely wouldn’t have thought so

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheredidallthetimego · 24/02/2026 11:29

User18394111 · 24/02/2026 11:21

If your BMI is over 30 and you can’t lose the weight with dieting alone then yes I’d consider the injections if you afford it. More because you want to be healthy for your children than because of looks.

It’s not over 30

OP posts:
Moen · 24/02/2026 11:23

I would want to know where this is coming from.

Has another child said something to her about your appearance?

User18394111 · 24/02/2026 11:21

If your BMI is over 30 and you can’t lose the weight with dieting alone then yes I’d consider the injections if you afford it. More because you want to be healthy for your children than because of looks.

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