To go on the jab for my 7 year old

I would go quite a bit further than that, she needs to see the consequences of bad behaviour, which is what this is.

You say she feels bad saying it so she knows what she is saying ischurtful, challenge her (firmly but age appropriate) as to why she is saying it, tell her you are disappointed in her, where did she hear this to think it is ok to say that to anyone, and you expect her to be kinder than that to her classmates and teachers and if she knows something is wrong stand up for what is right.

She can talk to you if someone else is saying these things if she doesn’t know how to handle, but it is not acceptable for to say to others.

I thought you were going to say for health reasons so you can live longer and do more active/playful things with her!

No harm in loosing a few pounds anyway but I wouldn’t let this be the big reason

That’s unusual to be fair, most people in this size range are over 3o, have you worked it out correctly. If so, then I’d assume it’s lack of muscle tone?

This is praying on my mind, surely you are not saying if she tells you you’re fat again punish her? That would need to be down there with the worst parenting advice ever witnessed.

understanding, through gentle talking, what’s causing this, what’s worrying her, and why, and then dealing with those concerns in an open and age appropriate manner is the way forward, not if you tell me I’m fat again I’m going to punish you.

Kids know when your words are meaningless. This is empty, because you clearly don't believe it as you're considering taking prescription medication for which you don't qualify (so would have to obtain by lying about your health) in order to change your body.

I am on Mounjaro and I had a BMI of 42. My kids were not embarrassed to be seen with me. One commented the other day that he can see I've lost a lot of weight but that he'd never thought of me as fat (I absolutely was!). So I would be concerned about the messaging this girl is receiving about women's bodies and appearance.

Are you maybe responding to the wrong thread or misunderstood? She didn’t call her names, at no stage has the op said she called her names, she said she was fat, which she is likely to be. That’s not calling someone a name. It maybe hurtful as people don’t like it pointed out bit it’s not calling names, calling names is you’re a cow a bitch whatever, not saying your fat I’m sorry when someone actually is.

it also is far from the norm for a seven year old to be embarassed by their parents. It’s usually quite extreme when this happens at this age.

so something has happened here, either another kid at school has said her mum is fat or she’s heard it said and doesn’t want the same treatment.

my daughter was much older, about 11 when the girls started talking about the mums appearance, their clothes, their appearance, who was the prettiest, the best clothes, the coolest. Little girls do notice these things, kids can be brutal, and as much as they may not articulate it at home, anyone thinking it means it doesn’t happen is very naive indeed.

at 7?! I don't think that's normal.

Do you think someone could have said something at school? It happened to my DD at a similar age that’s all, her friends said I was fat. I was heavily pregnant fwiw but they’re kids and hadn’t recognised that… Kids can be totally savage at that age.

Either way, I wouldn’t lose weight because your 7 year old wants you to but you could use it as a catalyst for change if you want it.

It's normal for kids to be embarrassed by their parents. Nothing you can do will change it.

But she's being quite unpleasant to you, she needs to see that words can hurt before she says it to the wrong person who isn't so accommodating.

If you want to lose weight then lose weight. Don't do it for her, she still won't think you're cool mammy like she used to.

Next time tell her that there will be punishments if she ever calls you names again and you're not tolerating it. You'll be doing her a favour.

I think it would be wrong to assume not articulating it means it wasn’t happening not all children articulate what is on their minds, children this age do now recognise the issues associated with obesity in terms of health and most if at school will have seen fat used as an insult.

It was around this age (for my daughter) that I went from a bit overweight to morbidly obese and we never went through this.

It sounds like this could be coming from other kids at school/similar if not at home.

It’s yiu who is being vile, not this child.

I suspect she’s heard this said somewhere, not necessarily about you, but she’s heard fat used as an insult and in her little mind she’s thinking that’s my mum,people will see I’ve a fat mum.

and if you’re short and say an 18 yes you could look fat, but say tall and a 16 then less so,

only lose weight for yourself, and your health.

Your problem is right there, in your own words....but believe me, she will be influenced by that, and other crap she, and probably 99% of her friends watch online. Obsession with looks.
It's a form of bloody brain washing in kids.

Not at all normal for an 8 yo to be embarrassed by a parent's weight or choice of outfits. She's got this from somewhere so you need to address it. Maybe friends or friends parent's?

I remember my DD having friends whose parents had a very different outlook to my own - either super obsessed with looks and appearances or very judgemental. You need to address it.

I second this.

The biggest issue here is you need to find out where this is coming from and you have to help her learn that this isn’t the way.

Books and just talking would be the best way. She’s only little and she’s just saying it how she sees it. You’ll have to guide her out of that mindset, otherwise she’ll look at everyone that way, including herself.

Children are so clever, just speak to her how it will make sense to her. When my children have had an issue I’ve spoken to their teachers and asked if they could discuss it in PSHE. When they see their peers engaging and having the same concerns/questions, it makes everything easier for them to process.

You really care and love your daughter. But you shouldn’t use WLI if you don’t want to - that’s exactly the message you don’t want to give your daughter.

I’m on the jabs, so not anti-jab. My BMI was much higher than yours. I did not go on the Jabs for anyone rise, it was for myself. It’s not an easy fix, I’ve had sone unpleasant side effects.

Where is a 7 year old getting such a negative view of body shape from? It’s not coming out of thin air (unintended pun). We aren’t born thinking fat is bad. I would be challenging the dangerous stereo-types she’s starting to believe.

You've told her but have you taken any actions in terms of discipline? Her attitude is vile, she cannot be allowed to grow up thinking this ok. If talking it through is not working, there needs to be repercussions.

My DD went through a similar phase at a similar age - it seemed to be linked to her learning that people can be insulted/words can upset people and then going through a sort of “testing phase” at home with us to see what was ok to say and what wasn’t if that makes sense?
Somewhere along the line she’s picked up the association that these things are hurtful to say and she’s testing to see if it’s true.
I think you are handling it in right way but perhaps you could add in explicitly that some people might be upset by those words and that it’s rude to say them

Around 7 one of my kids stopped holding my hand but it was because they didn’t want to be seen holding their mammy’s hand. My other child still takes my hand the odd time age 11. Either way I’m always more worried about kids who care about what other children think because they’re the ones who are more likely to find life harder trying to be something they’re not. Lose weight for yourself if you want but also I’d keep talking to her about why she cares, hurt feelings, what matters etc . And remember they’re kids, they say stuff, awful stuff, and it might just be that one moment in time, she may never give it another thought

I think it's more important for you to try and understand why your daughter is focusing on your weight.
Girls of that age can be cruel have they been talking about people being overweight? Is there someone in her class who is overweight and they have been talking about it
You need to get to the bottom of that as her focus on appearances is not healthy