To go on the jab for my 7 year old

I was your size op...my DC never said anything or mentioned being embarrassed. You're hardly beyond the realms of average...I am on the jabs by the way but for me, not anyone else. If you want to do it, do it for you.

Argh, sorry I meant a size 18 from Mint Velvet (they were XL which is an 18 there), I really shouldn't be allowed to type! Anyway I am apple shaped, big tummy with thin legs and arms. I am going to stop now, it really doesn't matter to this conversation at all!

Exactly that’s my point, being a 14-16 is what I’d expect, the op is up to an 18 and her bmi is only 28.

I feel you're over invested in another woman's BMI. I am not sure what your agenda is but the whole point is that harping on about another person's weight and attaching value judgments to it is RUDE. You don't think the OP's DD should be told this, whereas I think perhaps you are living proof that it does sometimes need pointing out.

My BMI is 28.7 and on Saturday I bought a pair of size 16 jeans from Next, and a pair of size 14 work trousers from Mint Velvet. So totally possible....amazingly people have different bodies!

Hmm ok are you maybe in denial a bit, a 16 to an 18 means you must wear and 18 at times. I did too, it’s fine. But few people are a bmi 28 at that size, so possibly your weight is heavier than you think or you lack muscle tone.

I feel you’re offended, and yet it’s a factual discussion.

I am no going down the Katie Hopkins route of looking down on kids and their families because they have the wrong name or live in a poorer area, 😉
but I do think the children an impressionable child hangs around with has a huge impact on their behaviour.
For a seven year old to suddenly find their mum embarrassing, commenting on her weight, and making mum feel concerned enough to write a thread here about it, it's more than being a bit cheeky, it's cruel, and this little girl, who feels bad after saying these things, is obviously not a naturally spiteful little girl.

It’s unusual to be effectively in an 18 and bmi 28, it must be lack of muscle.

again for me, punishing children, guilt tripping them is just shitty parenting in this context and is driven by the hurt associated with the word fat. I don’t really get it, if you’re fat you’re fat, I was fat, as much as I didn’t like or wish to be told it, I had no desire to punish anyone, never mind my own young child for pointing it out. They have eyes in their head. Silencing them by fear is not the way forward.

I guess so. I agree about online influences but I just don't think you can police interactions at school and making judgments about the "wrong friends" is a bit problematic anyway. I think you're better focussing on critical thinking and assertiveness, and hopefully that way your child can draw their own conclusions, challenge problematic assertions at school and be a positive influence.

I think it is important where kids are getting their influence from.
Too many kids watch unsuitable online content, some kids mix with the wrong friends, if a parent is aware of who or what is influencing them, they can do something about it.
Obviously instilling strong values, sense of self worth, etc, is important, and that's mostly down to the parents, but seven year olds are very impressionable to outside influences too.

In my day that child would have been told they were being ‘cheeky fond’

Its not summer either - is this even real?

Same!

It would be unreasonable to take the jabs based on the opinions of your DD, if you wanted the jabs because you wanted to lose weight using them then that would be fine but it should only ever be because it's something you want not to please anyone else. I personally would be focusing on her attitude as thats what needs to change.

It makes me feel really shit, but I don’t let her know/see this.

I would start off by letting her know and see that her words are hurtful. She needs to understand that it is unacceptable and rude to comment on people’s appearance in this way.

Could it be because it makes her feel different? I only ask because my 7 yr old has on a few occasions expressed embarrassment of me (very upset when I volunteered for the school trip) and other family members. What it all boils down to is being seen as different, in our situation I speak English to her, (in a non-English speaking country) and she hated how that made her stand out. We’ve worked on it and she’s much better now but she just doesn’t like to appear different and she hates other children asking her questions about it even when they’re doing it out of interest not nastiness. My other DC loves to stand out and in the exact same scenario loves having a mum who speaks a different language.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but are you being truly honest/checking it correctly.... Only because I was slightly in denial as a size 14/16 and when i weighed and checked my bmi was 32 (I am short which doesn't help me!) I've done dieting alone and the jab for the last stone and my bmi is still 26 which is technically overweight, but I'm a size 10/12 and much more comfortable in myself.
I think it's not necessarily about losing weight for her embarrassed type comments, because kids will find something embarrassing about parents (I remember my best f having a gorgeous mum, and she would regularly say she was embarrassing for "trying to look good, it's desperate" so you can't win). It was more for me wanting to do everything with them as they got more adventurous, we've been mountaineering, sea swimming, husky driving, fell climbing, I'd not have felt confident (and the husky weight limit was 85kg) to do those things at my old size.
Do what works for you, see and feel your own goal (running and exploring with my kids as they became teenagers was mine) and take any steps you want to. It's all very much personal choice.

I embarrassed my DC because I talked posh apparently.

She may not be vile in general but this particular attitude is vile. She clearly doesn't feel truly sad/bad otherwise this would not be an ongoing problem. You need to find a way to change her not you.

What are you doing about it?

I also don't think it's massively important where they're getting their influence from. It'll be some kid at school, you can't do much about that ultimately. All you can do is instill strong values and a sense of self worth in your own child so they aren't so easily influenced when they're older.

I agree. I don't really understand what that other poster is getting at other than doubling down on her point of view that "fat" is the ultimate taboo. It is rude and hurtful to act embarrassed of your parent because of their appearance. This is true whether it's about fat, a skin complaint or anything else and a child needs to know the impact of their hurtful comment and shown another way to view the world.

I think it IS helping her understand the impact of her words

Who else should be centred but the person hurt? If possible, then some education to the person who caused the hurt …for which I shared the 30 second rule for comments about others