So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

My nieces are 18 and 20 and they live at home. But they both have full time jobs, after working part time from 16 at the local supermarket. One has two jobs, she's a TA and has a part time nannying job for a family with SEN children. The other will start her full time job with a budget airline as ground crew later this year. She only applied with one airline, and a couple from her course did the same and have also got jobs.

It'll take them a bit of time but they'll have deposits saved up in a few years and I think will have both moved out with a mortgage by 25. One has a boyfriend on a management scheme at another local supermarket, which will help as they'll have two incomes. I know this is anecdotal, but my experience of my nieces and their friendship groups is that those who are driven can find the jobs. If your children can't get any jobs, then they need to ensure they are competently filling out applications and help them get the skills to do this if they want. DH works in a large retailer and is struggling to get decent applicants for roles and struggling even more to find existing employees who want to step up into management roles and progress their careers, and often has to externally hire for management even though their strong preference is to promote. He'd happily hire or at least interview an 18 or 20 year old who was keen and showed an interest and excitement for the role (admittedly it pays just above minimum wage, but there are bonus, commission and progression opportunities once you're in).

We are in the North though, but I stayed in my uni town after graduating as that's where the jobs were, so I live a couple of hours from my parents and I bought my flat there in 2012 at 22. Ironically, that flat is now worth less than I bought it for and so is actually more affordable to current 22 year olds than it was to me - albeit no one will buy it so it's currently let.

We have one adult son living at home and tbh, we're all quite happy, even though he could easily afford to move. What's more, I know others in the same situation. Are we becoming more continental in our approach, where its quite normal for adult children to live with their parents until they find a partner?

They get a job, any job and they put their back into it. None of this “I only work my contracted hours” crap. They work hard and get noticed. And as an employer, we absolutely DO notice who gives a damn and who doesn’t. And no, that does not mean hours and hours of unpaid labour, it means if the shit hits the fan, they put their hand up to help. It matters.
They get a small bump in pay and that enables them to rent a shitty room. They continue to work hard, get a bigger pay rise, rent a slightly less shitty flat. Start saving. Change jobs but keep working hard….and so it goes. Eventually they buy the house, probably reduce their hours, have dc of their own and the cycle starts again.

Spot on! There’s absolutely no point throwing money away renting in this day and age. Way overpriced and all these new build flats

Seems pretty ignorant and arrogant.

Across the many societies and cultures where living long term with family, they are all completely unaware their lives haven't started and it is terrible . . . . . in spite those cultures normally being happier overall.

Yes he has done very well. He is incredibly skilled in what he does (software developer) and so when he started his apprenticeship they put him on the standard pay (I think it was £5.60 an hour or something) but within 3 months they put him on 30k a year as he was as good as/better than many of their other staff. So saving has been easier for him and we got him to set up a stocks and shares ISA when he turned 18 where he has seen some decent growth in his savings.

Absolutely. It’s really tough unless you get family help or have a very high-paying job. For most young people saving for a deposit while renting is totally impossible.

It is very difficult for them unless they are working and have a working partner to move out with. Rent prices are sky high when compared against wages and you have to have a deposit to be able to buy. I'm not sure I trust the shared housing schemes either as you, the person buying into them ,has a mortgage, deals with any repairs and any other fees, as well as paying rent where the partner they pay rent to doesn't seem to cover anything else like traditional renting does.

Mine are in their 20's and struggling to move out on the wages they have.

Yes so if they couldn't agree a collection time I wouldn't buy. And if you don't like my point of view stop following me arguing then Simple

The problem with driving tests is only since COVID though. My DS gook his at 18.5 rather than 17 due to it. And theory test makes no odds.

So it's only the current 22s and below that has delayed tests but not delayed 5 years. And again I'm sure some friend or relative has a bloody car or are you determined to be contrary?

I'm aware So id only got things close by and made sure I coyld collect on a particular day of I was van hiring.

You say you are aware, but IME eBay doesn’t work like that - the seller doesn’t want to set up a collection time with you until you’ve won the auction, and they will have their own commitments around work etc.

Anyway, this is the second thread today I’ve got into a pointless discussion with you and your One True Way approach. CBA. Have a good evening.

That's generally done at 17/ 18 though not in 20s.

I don’t have the stats, but with the massive difficulty to get driving tests plus the addition of the theory test, I suspect a lower proportion do it at 17/18 than used to be the case.

My son (22) has lived on his own since he was 18 because I own the house he lives in. He had worked since he was 16, but minimum wage so can’t afford to pay the going rent, even in a shared house. I Imagine down the line he’ll have a higher salary and get a partner and they could buy a bigger property together.
My DD, (20) is at uni. She will move home after graduating and for the foreseeable. I live in London and aside from affordability, she thinks why waste money on rent if I’m happy to house her? She is a very hard worker, ambitious and frugal. And very pragmatic. She will move out when she either: leaves London for a job, or gets partnered up.
My London friend has three kids, 20 year old starting out working at the NHS feels the same as my DD; 23 year old has great job as a chef but not earning enough to move out; eldest in the military so is away much of the time and splits his down time between home and girlfriend’s family home.
Affordability is the main issue. Rents have far outpaced salaries, especially in London. And many families seem ok with adult kids at home, perhaps coupled with a more relaxed acceptance for differing lifestyles?

I'm aware So id only got things close by and made sure I coyld collect on a particular day of I was van hiring.

As I said I had an old astra estate with a roof rack so shifted pretty much everything in that. And bought rest of stuff I needed at bootsales. Got a set of la creuset pans for £1.50. My eldest DD now has them. Curtains for 50p

The thing with eBay (I did not say “donated”) is that items are in different locations, auctions finish on different days and sellers have to be around for the collection, so juggling utterly unrelated diaries.

So it’s not always in the buyer’s control how economical collection can be. Good in theory, not necessarily in practice.

What do you want to hear then.
Yes your children can leave home and find a house share if they are working as do a high percentage of children.
Yes it is very difficult to leave home and buy in the south east without significant help or saving by living at home until you are 40.
Yes, it is perfectly achievable to leave home and get work in cheaper areas. It is perfectly possible to buy a house in your 20s if you have a job and 20k saved in huge swathes of the UK. Just not where you live.
So that is how millions of children leave home every year before they are 25.

Would've been more economical to collect all donated stuff in that one day surely rather that hire van for one sofa

That's generally done at 17/ 18 though not in 20s.

I'm sure a lit of these living at home adults had parents pay for that also.

And if be very surprised if someone didn't have a single friend or relative that could drive a van for a day

I shifted most of my bits in old astra estat car or. On the roof rack

Hmmm, maybe, but if people are being told to cut back on Netflix, then driving lessons and getting a license are probably too expensive too.

ETA yes, I know - we furnished our current house from eBay, a £2 sofa cost about £70 for the van hire and needed two of us to collect and petrol money to get there, and also we are lucky enough to have a rent a van shop in walking distance - otherwise it would be a taxi to and from as well.

A days van hire doesn't actually cost that much you know. Much cheaper than buying furniture

Donated furniture is not much help unless someone in the family has a van to get it to you.

This. Sadly there is a quality of life balancing act that maybe those in their 20s who expect to one day be owner-occupiers aren't quite used to. It's more than just a Netflix subscription that's on the line. You live somewhere cold and shabby, with no car and really bad public transport, furnished entirely from charity shops and granny's loft (I didn't buy new curtains - or have central heating - until I was well over 40). You don't go on holiday for years and years, and shop only at Lidls. That's what life looks like for millions of people, of all ages, not just young people looking to buy! It's not at all unusual. And it's definitely better than stagnating in your childhood bedroom for ever and ever.

Ten jobs a week isn’t that much. When I graduated I submitted well over 300 applications in the span of 4 months. You only need 1 person to give you a chance but you have to spread your net wide.
eta- I rented for a decade (a room) and still saved up to buy. Had zero financial help from family.

I moved out at 23 to rent a tiny and mouldy flat with my DP. We managed to buy our own house when I was 27.

It’s really tough these days. I have a half sibling who still lives with her DM at 38. She has never moved out.

Save and save. House share for several years, buy with a partner or friend. It’s possible but it’s not easy.