So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

Do your kids want to save for mortgages or do they want to live a bit first?

Vocational thank you! I was spraining my last remaining brain cell there. Radiography is good too less patient interaction or science like microbiology etc. biology was always my special interest while numbers were my husband's. I have a vocational healthcare career and my husband is a software engineer.

You're worried your kids have challenges. That's worrying! My eldest has ADHD/ASD (awaiting assessment) and it does give me pause how he'll do long term. Social anxiety being a really hard part of it all. My husband is almost definitely autistic and until mid 20s incredibly socially awkward and then sort of found himself around the time we met and went from strength to strength. Hopefully your daughter has the same trajectory

Agree. DEgrees now are often not worth the cost if it's mainly about employment. It's not always the case, but you have to have a clear sense of what your goal is.

In IT, it's very common for people to not have a related, or sometimes any, degree.

There are other certifications you can get, some free or inexpensive, that can be a good addition to a resume. Learning new commonly used software can also be a good plan.

For someone who likes working with computers there are areas that are not so easy to move to AI or offshore. The physical repairing, laying wires, etc. Maybe cybersecurity.

Actually, OP - what about the military, for cyber security?

I think the first step is to try to get your child that dropped out of uni some work, life skills, volunteering and so forth whilst they are still in your house- so working towards independence rather than achieving it all in one fell swoop. The more they are equipped to be independent, in terms of managing their budget, knowing how much food costs, keeping to a schedule for work and so on, the more likely it is they will succeed when they finally get a chance to fly the nest.

I think the extremes on here- so either throw them out at 18 as they are an adult, or keep them at home with you for ever and as long as they want are strange- in real life, I see people scaffolding their children towards independence, some go quicker than others, some have more health or MH challenges and that takes work, but people do live independently even with issues (e.g. are on UC) and getting someone to start believing in themselves, their abilities and that they will be able to cope (as dropping out of uni makes them feel bad about themselves and like a failure). Your child needs some 'wins' somewhere, either in managing the household, or getting a part-time or voluntary job, building a CV and generally being perceived as a successful young person who is going places even if they aren't there yet. You can do a lot of this work now, don't despair- start working with them on cooking skills in anticipation where they might be in a couple of years time or help them get an internship somewhere with a friend, or work doing gardening and setitng them up on NextDoor- you need small wins before big wins in these situations.

Kids now expect to work less and have more.

I am 38 and when I worked from age 13 when I got my first paper round. Most of my friends worked too, and everyone had a job or even 2-3 through uni.

The amount of people at uni who don’t have a job now is just staggering.

Then we lived in grotty house shares. I lived in a caravan for 2 years whilst saving for a house. And no one expected to move out of mum and dads into a similar standard house age 23.

I appreciate your situation OP is nuanced, and lots of people will have different situations.
however I do think that on average, a 22-25 year old , should really be looking to move out of their parental home. Full time minimum wage is £25000 per annum, which after Tax and NI is £21500 take home, which is £1700/month rounding down to take into account pension contributions. Looking on SpareRoom, you can get a nice central room in a flat in Edinburgh (not a cheap city!) for between £600-£800/month which in many cases includes bills. Which leaves approximately £1000/month for living costs. I am sure that you could save a reasonable amount of that if you really wanted to. Or you can blow it all on partying and drink like I did at 22 :)

First post??? Talking about what happened 30 year ago

Totally irrelevant

I have a theory about the April 2027 private pension rules. From then on, your pension will count as part of your estate for calculating inheritance tax, which is 40%. The levels at which IHT comes into effect are not being increased.

There is one particular loophole that is notably being left alone - the monthly income you provide to your kids, even if they’re adults.

I think the government is anticipating a flood of ageing parents liquidating their previously tax-free nest eggs to give their offspring ongoing financial support.

So youre happy for them to rent, but they can't because one is at uni and the other doesn't have a job? I don't understand what you think their struggle is, no one can rent if they dont have an income, irrelevant of age.

I also don't know anyone who was working and did it in the mid-2000s. Didn't need to. I rented a flat in Bath in 2008 for £475 a month. You could still get 100% and even 110% mortgages in 2006/2007.
(As we all know these were not the brightest idea...)

If they save £200 a week so £800 a month that just under £10k in a year. Do that for 4/5trs and have a £50k deposit

they need to get used to paying /losing most of salary as they will once live on own and pay rent /mortgage and bills

all the time they are with you and either paying lo rent to you or no rent - then the save save save

that’s how I got my deposit - my parents said to pay £60 rent (this was 30yrs ago) and I saved and put away money each week an had a £15k deposit

my then bf (an eventually dh) and I didn’t live together for think 7yrs - met at almost 19 and we brought our home at 26

obv prices are higher but so was wages. I earn more a day now then i earnt in a week when we bought our house

I work with a 24 year old who has severe ADHD and she works part time, shares a house with a friend and gets UC top up. This is SW so not as expensive as the SE but it's not Sunderland or Stoke on Trent prices either. It is doable to move out this way - but not to buy a home with a mortgage.

I will put my hand up here. I am just 50 DS is nearly 22 DD is 19. DS is living with his GF in his last year of a masters and is doing a ( funded) PHD next year. DD is 19 on a gap year with a job and a place at University. I feel quite free....

Sounds like she has a lot of challenges but she's also still so young. Our nextdoor neighbours still have 3 of their kids living at home but those kids are my age. At that point these men with jobs are just enjoying being pampered and their mum looks knackered.

At 18 and with supportive parents and a work ethic this won't be forever. Can she apply for call centers? Look on all the job sites and apply for things further away? Pay for travel.if necessary? I don't know what's around local to you but over time she's going to be ok and find her way. She has you on her corner and you clearly care a lot. But you have to realize she has massive advantages and over the next few years things are going to change.

Is it worth her trying a course that's more 'taughy' and towards a profession? Accounting maybe? Perimenopause is stopping me accessing the word for a course directly to a profession. Nursing, occupational therapy. Optometry, orthopedic etc etc

Everyone I know did. Even the rich kids. And this wasn’t ancient times, it was 2005 onwards.

Is your frustration that you feel your mum should cut the cruises and help your children buy a home ?

In the past, most people moved out and rented for some time, I'm not sure why they're now expected to buy their own place at 18.

Your post is ridiculous how do adult children move out? Everyone: They work full time, save and move out. Op: oh my adult kids don't work 🙈

I don’t know a single person who moved into a house share. Why do people on this thread think we all did it?