15 year-old know it all son

I think he has to learn from his own mistakes. The problem is that at a young age that can be extremely costly. But to be fair you can retake exams if you fail.

Part of the problem at that age is that it is hard to understand what you don't know. The problem is that the publicly accessible stuff is normally at a very reduced level and it can be easy to fool yourself into thinking you believe you understand it, but the backing behind it is often very complex.

I remember getting to university the first time, and the thing that impressed me most was just how much knowledge there is out there. If you go into a library and look at the rows and rows and racks and racks of journals, it becomes quickly apparent that it is impossible to know everything, and even the stuff that you do want to know and specialise in is very complex and takes time to understand.

Re the more specific interests he has like astronomy, where does he get his information from ? Normally the web, but what sources ? If he for example goes on some of the more accessible sites for astronomy that's great, but may not be testing him in the way he needs to be tested. There are sites and channels out there that dig into issues in much greater detail and hopefully are capable of humbling him somewhat.

He doesn't sound like he is far away from being ready to go to Uni, at least at an academic level if not at a life experience level and when he gets there he will be able to focus all his skills on something a lot more challenging.

In the meantime, and in the few final years you have left together at home, maybe it is best to try to engineer situations where rather than your interaction with him being confrontational and a test of "who knows the most" on a subject try to orient them more towards shared experiences where you can listen together.

Absolutely nightmare age. I would leave school work up to him. You cant force him.
If hes disrespectful at home just ignore there is really no winning an argument with a teenager. Just let the low level annoying things go.

He doesn’t sound smart - he sounds narcissistic.

An intelligent person doesn’t argue about things they know nothing about.

My brother was/is incredibly intelligent. He was gifted as a child and coasted through school without any effort.

He argued about things he knew about and as an adult he is extremely well read and now works in a STEM field.

The problem with gifted children is they can burn out after highschool. They grow up knowing they were the smartest in their entire school and never had to try. At University they are often not the smartest and need to actually show up to lectures or they will fail.

There’s also the possibility that a person can be so intelligent they can feel ostracised from their peers and suffer terrible mental health.

I don’t think your son is at any risk of either of the above scenarios.

I suggest you encourage your son to pursue a trade if his grades are bad. Also, if he’s arguing about things he has no knowledge of he will completely fail at University as no one will put up with his BS.

As a parent it is your responsibility to prepare your children for society’s expectations and part of that is social intercourse. Without social skills he will fail to establish a social network at University or in any workplace which will very much limit his career options.

At 15 he’s working things out for himself - his views, opinions, ethics and needs to be able to express these. As long as he’s not disrespectful I’d let him get on with it. I don’t need my kids to be right, have all the information or to agree with me - they’re learning, and trial and error is all part of that.

My DS can wax lyrical on something for ages, and I’m happy to listen even if I think he’s wrong, I disagree or whatever, the important thing is he wants to communicate with me. If it’s not dangerous or harmful, I’ll let him crack on.

I do think this is an age thing, and I'm the centre of the universe type of thing. Their brains are still very much developing to see / hear others point of views. My 15 year old daughter is sometimes like this and comes out with all sorts! Doesn't listen, doesn't wear a coat when it's raining, promises me she's ready when she's not. I think it's just teenagers. Hopefully his grades will be ok

Most used phrase here at that age was, we agree to disagree!! I think Ds thought I was very stupid and he was apparently always right. It does change, infact it is surprising how suddenly you are asked for advice and support. I was all knowing when it came to uni applications, buying a house, interview hints. You just have to laugh it off really.

I'm sorry, but this just made me laugh out loud ( sat in Tesco cafe on my own- thinking of the Dad reading the horoscopes) I'm really sorry.

It’s a phase. I went through it and my kids did. We think we know everything at that age and people with decades more life experience know nothing.

Did you find the sport helped him (or you!) get through this stage? We’re just about to get into this stage!

You clearly have a .very normal 15 year old.Jut let him get on with it . If he asks for help thats fine but otherwise back 9ff. ¹ He will learn, so be it if its the hard way.

Unfortunately kids who are very bright are often a bit lazy with it. Instead of planning and working towards a goal they tend to wing it and /or leave everything until the last minute. As a result they dont achieve their potential. I taught some really bright young people at uni and they rarely got a 1st. The ones who did were not perhaps quite so bright (but smarter than average) and smart enough to know that preparation and self discipline are preferable to winging it.

It’s because you mean astronomy (I think!)

Urgh. Girls don’t have to be nice.

15 year olds are supposed to know everything. It’s their job. Your DH is right, natural consequences are the best way.

My teenager is exactly the same, will argue black is white and has the self confidence to express her opinion. I love it, it’s what I raised her to do. Sure there are rough edges but they will be knocked off in time.

I also hate when people say their kids won’t fulfil “their” potential. What you mean is, you think he won’t live up to your expectations.

@PashaMinaMio

@Spiritedlight addressed this at 10.22 😊

Snap! @CustardySergeant

Yes, she said so in her post at 10.22.

Well, mine was only this age last year so definitely can remember it and it honestly wasn't that bad..... 😉 Him being 3 was far worse!

That said, he is a typical teenage boy, I guess some of it is just what you are prepared to ignore. I am told he is hard working and polite outside the house so I am happy to let a lot of the grunting and eye rolling at home slide.

Dear OP,
I think you meant Astronomy? The study of stars and beyond.

Astrology is quite different; the study of birth dates and signs! Check your original post. Predictive text has got the better of you!

Currently walking on eggshells around my 15yo know-it-all and highly combustible dd, so I sympathise. It takes some navigating. Sometimes Dh says to her ‘Now try saying the same thing, in a friendlier way’ and that does seem to give her pause.

Did you mean Astronomy Op?

Astrology/Astronomy misunderstanding has given me a good giggle.

I have two dds who are a little bit like this OP - one more than the other. To be honest, she's 25 now and she stills leaps to self-defence with gentle conversations ... she can't bear for me to question anything really and never has been able to. I just totally let it go now as I can't be bothered with the conflict. I was reflecting back on her teenage years the other day and do I wish I'd challenged her a bit more? Yes, I think I do, but I'm not sure it would change the outcome. I think her personality leans towards defensive and stubborn, even though she can be lovely and sweet, and with questioning her all it will lead to is arguments and, probably, the same outcome anyway. Some people are just wired differently. We do have lots of calm conversations and she takes in a bit of experience and wisdom from me now ... but she has to be the one to invite it. It's really hard - I get it. And I am very careful with my communication style with her - I manage a lot of people and am used to different personalities ... in fact, I'm quite good at it. But kids at home ... much harder as they don't really respect your authority ... not truly. This is why they need to grow up and fly the nest! He'll resent you and just avoid telling you anything if you aren't careful.