15 year-old know it all son

It is important for a boy to show he has knowledge and skills to be a part of society, so his behaviour is normal. This is often expressed in an irritating manner. He is trying to emulate men he sees who are assertive, knowledgeable and skilled.

Keeping correcting him when he is wrong and praising when right. He won't show he understands those corrections, but inside he will acknowledge and grow.

Boys often try to minimise the effort required to do things whereas we teach girls to value outcomes that often need excessive effort or time. Remind him that "hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work." There are lots of people as bright as your DS they will be hiding how much they are really working to get better grades than others who don't work as hard.

Don't try to leave him to fail in the hope he will recognise his mistakes, boys need our best advice to flourish, just like girls.

Carry on with your high expectations, caring parenting and remember to joke and laugh along the way.

Good luck

Have taught teenagers for 25 years and am the proud owner of my very own teenage experts at present. It is very normal and common. Teenagers are naturally over confident about their own knowledge, abilities and experience. They don't have the benefit of experience and no real understanding of all the things they don't know. They are trying to be grown ups and some of them do it badly and rudely. Take no notice of it. With ds we tend to gently take the piss. Say things like "How on earth did I manage to survive for 40 plus years without you explaining things to me.

He’s 15, a teenager. He’ll be fine. Teenagers are a different species to us.

@NamingNoNames i came on to say the exact same thing!

OP, my son was exactly the same between 14-17 ish…he’s 20 now and although he can still be a bit like it, on the whole he listens more and he’s much, much easier to talk to (and cope with!) now, so I agree with many others that it’s a common phase for 15 year old boys! My stepson is exactly the same, and it drives my DP mad…but he’s been like it since he was about 5 (he’s 15 now) so I think it may be his personality rather than a phase 😂

It probably is just something he'll grow out of, but not all of them do. I've had to distance myself from a friend because her boyfriend (who seems to be around every single time we meet up) knows absolutely everything about everything and will cut you off mid sentence to tell you you're wrong (even though 99% of the time you're not) and will play devil's advocate about absolutely everything. It is exhausting and highly irritating, I don't know how people live with men like this.

There’s an old joke that I’ll paraphrase for you.

Full set of Encyclopaedia Brittanica for sale. No longer needed, as son says he knows everything.

Sorry also wanted to add that a lot of praise can also feel like pressure to a teen. It can make it feel like an impossible standard to maintain and like your only worth linked to ‘success’ this was a huge surprise to me as like you I thought I was doing the right thing heaping on praise but after a lot of reflecting and listening I’m now aware of how it can feel to a teen.

It’s not just a boy thing, this is just what teenagers are like. Thankfully mine are mostly out the other side and are happy to take advice again. I found the exam years horrible. I get that you’re worried but I suspect he is too and perhaps he’s finding your worry too much pressure. My advice would be if he’s saying he’s doing enough then take him at his word. He will be being reminded on a hourly basis at school how important exams are, the pressure from school is immense. Providing an environment where he doesn’t feel judged is far more important at this point. He needs to feel relaxed and safe at home and somewhere he can escape to not from. I say this with kindness, I learned the hard way that adding pressure can be really damaging for a relationship and their mental health. That doesn’t mean you don’t have any rules but they have to take accountability for themselves and sometimes they do have to fail. I always say to mine, ‘your decisions, your consequences’ and I mean it.

Totally depends on his personality whether it’d crush his confidence.

@Spiritedlightwould the short sharp shock of failing mocks help or hinder?

Kids these days are way too mollycoddled by parents for too long. If he thinks he knows better, just let him get on with it, I say. I honestly cannot be hooped with this kind of crap.

Metaphorically, you only want him to graze his knee, somewhat, not fall off the wall entirely, and smack his head against the concrete.

Agree. The short sharp lesson shouldn’t be one that could affect his future.

Yeah, it’s not rocket science !!

I took it to mean astronomy.

I assume you mean astonomy ?

That’s a bad idea.

I wouldn't - it could crush his confidence.
His bravado is just that.

I would one hundred per cent let him get on with it his own way and fail his mocks.

Nothing like a good sharp lesson to show him he DOESN’T in fact know it all.

15 year old boys ARE very irritating. A lot of them. I like to think it's nature's way of making it easy for them to leave home.

Maybe he needs extra support at school.
Could you find someone a few years older than him to give him grinds on a subject he is weak on or one he is interested in?
My son does this with schoolboys about 6 years younger and gives them insights into what they need to focus on for college etc.
It may help coming from someone only a few years older he can relate to.

Maybe he just wants to be left alone,as someone else has said it sounds like a coping mechanism,he wants to be in control and not be constantly controlled/interogated by his parents.Ive seen this a lot recently with friends kids and even my own,I don’t really know what the answer is but I would cut him some slack.I know of parents that need to know everything that their child did in school that day and what homework they’ve got etc etc Teenagers don’t need to be micro managed,in a few months he may be working,doing driving lessons,going to parties..you need to let him find his own way.Good luck xx

I don't think you are aggressive OP and I suspect that underneath it all, your worry is not just him failing but being unlikable. Nobody likes a no-it-all, and when it's your son and you love them, you are forgiving to a point (and you still love them) but when you imagine him talking to peers or even older people: teachers/lecturers/future employers, you sort of cringe for him.

DD had a boyfriend who was like this, talked over us, knew everything, couldn't listen to a story or anecdote without having more/newer/better information or narrative around it. It was tedious and I could see DD cringing. With him, it was being insecure and wanting to impress us. He would have been SO MUCH MORE LIKABLE if he just sometimes shut up, admitted ruefully that he knew nothing about XYZ and listened respectfully.

Teenagers are a bit that way anyway, but your DS sounds particularly annoying and you have a chance to address it now. Rather than focus on what he does or doesn't know - maybe remind him how admirable it is to learn to listen/admit you know less etc, and how it's an endearing quality to be a bit humble in the face of the older and wiser.

Apart from perhaps having that conversation, I would be inclined to go down the 'oh for goodness sake' route. Sort of "don't be ridiculous - of course you don't know more than David Attenborough about the behaviour of Wild Elks, but how did you get on at Swimming today?'

I follow a great American comedian. He says teenagers are God's revenge so we know what it's like to make something I your image that then denies your existence

Mine is very much like this !

My friend (who’s a headteacher) recommends incentivising revision.
And, with some luck, the better grades will present themselves after all the delicious revision!