To wonder if raising children is worth it?

My DC don't want kids and I am fine with that.

Not everyone’s children will want to or be able to have children.

The joy of parenthood is the Grandchildren, so you have the best bit still to come. Having your own children is 90% work and 10% fun, having grandchildren is 100% joy. Hang on in there.

Oh ok, fair enough. Glad it worked well for you.

Oh, sorry, explanation needed.
Since the age 13, I called having kids "cancelling myself and my life".
Now 46, I didn't lose my freedom, my intact body, autonomy, money, ability to make a decision for next day, to be anyone and anything I want to be.
Speaking for myself, obviously.
The freedom of body and soul is everything.

This is terrible advice to give you with hindsight, but I think it's relevant that your kids are the ages they are.

You had your youngest when the oldest was 2.5, so were pregnant from when your oldest was under 2.

That is, for want of a better word, "unnatural". In the wild, we usually only had children at 3-4y. Breastfeeding and a basic diet wouldn't have easily allowed a woman to carry a child more frequently, and young kids need a lot of attention, a lot of time to run around outside.

I know you can't exactly put them back, but it's not wrong of you to feel that you're not enjoying it, because we're not really designed to have children and look after them all by ourselves (and have jobs etc). So of course it's tough.

That's where I've gone wrong 😂

You have to clicker train them early. Sometimes if you are persistent you can train them to even put washing in the washing machine or pick up your slippers but mostly they just pee on the carpet.

Why do you need to cancel yourself?

If raising children is worth it? Worth what?
Cancelling yourself? No.
That's why I never had any.

I was on citalapram, i mentioned it to a therapist i was seeing and she thought it was a possibility but it could also be that women on anti depressants are more likely to be at home with nothing to do so might as well have a baby.
Which now i type it out seems an unlikely cause.

I didn’t before I had my first (planned), but when my eldest was about 1 I suddenly understood this feeling and wanted more.

I was fine during the early years, but the teenage years exhausted me. All good, though, now they are long past that.

That is really interesting yes. First time I've seen anyone mention that. Could I ask what sort of antidepressant it was?

If its of interest i think antidepressents have something to do with broodyness i was happy with 3, overwhelmed even 4 months on antidepressants and had to have the fourth. It was not a logical decission obv wouldnt change them.

As to kids going off the rails its not like a lottery if you put the work in without making it seem like work dont drop the ball at any major points you generally end up raising decent people.

Oh yes, OP, you are at the worst stage. It will get better. Don't lose hope. Keep plugging along and try to be kind to yourself.

Yes, it's odd. I have a child, but because I thought it would be an interesting thing to do. I've never felt a moment of anything recognisable as broodiness. Or, for that matter, social pressure to have a child. Or to have a second one, after having one.

I think it depends entirely on the children!
I myself had children for a very specific reason- I don't wish to disclose it- and that has proved right, so glad I did.
While also constantly worrying about the state of the world. Email had only just arrived when I had kids, and now they are telling me AI will take their jobs.

It's a slog but I love them utterly and my life is enriched without question by having that love in it.

I agree. I've read at least 2 posts recently from women who felt an overwhelming urge to have a 3rd child but now regret it. I think it should be studied more and named, but scientists (especially the male variety) won't be doing that any time soon. Far too dangerous.

I've read posts elsewhere along the lines of "why don't I want kids? I'm the odd one out, my friends and relatives are all having kids and moving on and dropping me, and it's hard to find a childfree partner. Sometimes I wish I wanted kids, just to fit in, be normal, understand it"

I don't feel that way - happily childfree, repulsed by the idea of pregnancy. But it seems some others do. Social pressure weighs on them, I guess?

I reckon some madly-broody women would like to get rid of it, and some confused "what's all the fuss about?" childfree women would give it a try

Why are child free women confused? What are we confused about?

I have three adult children who love me dearly, as I love them. Nothing in my life has been as rewarding as raising them to be the people they are today. Jesus, they've cost me financially and physically, but they're worth every last penny.

You’re in the thick of it right now. This is going to sound terrible but I barely remember my DC being babies and toddlers because I was so exhausted and just on autopilot 24/7. People bring memories up and I just don’t remember. People say it gets easier as they get older and I assure you it definitely does.

I’ve had an easy ride so far though with teens, some teens go off the rails (I did) but my teens have (touch wood) been really easy to manage.

This. There isn't some sort of payoff at the end.