To think FIL was BU to leave children to go to end of street?

When they’re young, and all you’ve experienced it’s very obvious that they shouldn’t be left alone, and you get used to putting off things that need doing, because they’re the priority.

At some point you will leave them unsupervised, and in your head it will be a big deal, regardless of how old they are, but then you get more comfortable, and so do they. If you have younger ones, you would probably leave them alone a bit sooner, because your experience with the older ones has been okay.

What I’m saying is that it’s not quite as obvious looking backwards where that line is. I can’t remember when I would have felt comfortable being out of sight, or going upstairs, or letting them out in the garden.

Another factor is that we had more fear of our parents - we hesitated to open the door because we knew we’d get a clatter. GPs sometimes minimise those effects in their memory and can’t understand why we supervise closely for longer than they had to.

It just might not be as obvious to him as it is to you, and it might just need a conversation to get on the same page.

So you feel qualified to makethis generalized verdict on the toital Gen X or boomers?

Excuse me, I’m a boomer and I would never have locked young DCs in not even for half a minute!

By the title, I thought you meant your fil had let the DCs go to the end of the street alone, which I also would never do.

I would tell your fil that he’s never looking after your DCs again.
Str response from your DH.
Do you think he was locked in alone when he was very young.

Sounds like it’s a thing that a thoughtless man would do rather than a baby boomer.

I think fil judged it safe to nip to the car keeping the kids safe inside the house.
If you trust him generally to look after your kids, I think you are over worrying about this event. I agree with your DH

80s kid here. What you’re describing was a brilliant life back then. Admit you threw a whole generation of parents under the bus because of some issue you had with your parents.

Mine were great!

He grabbed something from the car, which was close enough for you to see from ring doorbell.

I wouldn’t be too worried about this. I bet it was 90 seconds ish tops. But if you are worried, ask him not to do it again and explain why.

So you can speak on behalf of an entire generation.
Do you realise how stupid this sounds.
Obviously not.

A lot of my kids' friends' parents are Gen X! Some Gen X people in their mid forties-early 50s are literally giving birth right now,
I wouldn't say they're any less safe to look after kids than elder millennials like me.

What a stupid sweeping statement. You need to row up.

I'm another gen x and was wondering if I needed to inform social services that they needed to come and remove my child to a place of safety as apparently I'm incapable.

You can still hear what is going on when you're in the loo.

20 minutes - he might want more fibre or to see a doctor about that.

God knows how my kids are alive when DH takes 20 mins in the loo

This is a ridiculous over-generalisation.

Most ridiculous comment on the internet today!

You could be right pmsl 😂😂💩💩😂😂

I always thought it was a shit sandwich

nice thing,
shit thing
nice thing

What a ridiculous, generalised statement.

I think you’re right. It’s about balance. I also agree it’s not good for very young children. When we did it my sister and I were 12/13. My sons would be around 9/10 and they’d go off and build dens and Tarzan swings. I knew where they were as the woods were only 5 minutes from the house.

Haven't read the whole thread but I would leave mine to nip out to the garden etc. for a couple of minutes so I would imagine it didn't occur to him that you'd be upset about it.

ha I was going to say, “what if you need a poo” but you put it more elegantly!

It was a few mins and as others said like going to the toilet, putting clothes away , or into Garden etc is the same amount

going forward just say to fil to not leave them in the house if he needs to pop out

jam sandwich approach

we love you looking after dc while we work

then mention not going out alone

we so appreciate you and they love spending time with you

Really?? Being in the same house and doing household tasks is totally different to going down the road! Doesn’t matter if it was a favour to OP or not.

If your DH wants them to have the chance to babysit again then he needs to raise it. Otherwise they will not be safe to watch them again.

I have similar memories but honestly mine involve being flashed at and molested, one of the children in my class drowned, I very narrowly escaped being squashed by a lorry (was not looking properly as I crossed the road on my bike; it was my fault but this would have been scant comfort to anyone had I died, I imagine!)

My brother and I used to fight pretty nastily at home without anyone supervising and other children could turn a bit lord of the flies without adults around.

I think a balance is good. I really don’t think it’s necessarily a good thing for very young children to be disappearing for hours at a time. Good for adults though.