To think John Davidson and BAFTA owe an apology

So if he cant help it would he randomly call a white person or a duck or a chair as in a random thing the same word?

Nope

"Johnny has a disability and can't help it. Just like Alice can't help that she can't run with you in the playground."

Children are usually more understanding and caring than adults

@Pollqueenare you by any chance a POC? I bet other posters aren’t, something tells me this needs a unique lived experience to understand. In the nicest way possible I’m not trying to offend.

Still no replies to any of the many analogies I’ve given…

I I get it, we seem to only become compassionate about SOME illnesses and disabilities

I have sympathy for anyone with Tourette’s. I genuinely do. It’s a difficult condition and I’m not for one second suggesting John Davidson is a bad person or that he chose to say what he said. But sympathy for a condition doesn’t mean the impact on others gets ignored.

Intent matters but so does impact. If I accidentally stand on someone’s foot I still say sorry, even though I didn’t mean to do it. “I didn’t mean it” and “I acknowledge I hurt you” are not mutually exclusive. I wouldn’t get annoyed at the suggestion of apologising simply because I didn’t mean it, so why is this different? Especially as it was a public stage in front of millions. I don’t expect John to apologise every day in normal interactions, but at such a public forum - he should. Michael B Jordan looked visibly devastated. It was so sad.

When he saw two Black men and the n-word came out — not H**ky at the white hosts for example, not some other neutral word, the n-word directed at Black people in the room — that caused real harm to real people. Tourette’s tics are shaped by what the brain reaches for as most “forbidden” in a given moment, and what it reached for when he saw two Black men was a racial slur aimed at them. That raises really uncomfortable questions about unconscious bias that most people would rather sidestep entirely.

It doesn’t make him a conscious racist. But it does make it a conversation worth having, because our unconscious associations don’t come from nowhere — they’re shaped by everything we’ve absorbed over a lifetime. That connotation being the first place his brain went is something that deserves acknowledgement, not just a pass because of the diagnosis. And as a POC, I have to be honest — this is heartbreaking. Not just the incident itself but what it represents.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain to white friends and colleagues that certain spaces feel uncomfortable, that you notice the stares, that you carry this constant low level awareness of how you might be being perceived. And so often the response is “you’re imagining it” or “you’re being too sensitive.” You get gaslit into doubting your own lived experience. Well — moments like this are exactly why it isn’t in our heads. This is the reality POC navigate every single day. Always on alert. Always doing that mental calculation of whether someone is judging you for the colour of your skin. That emotional labour is exhausting and largely invisible to people who’ve never had to carry it.

John thanking the audience for their “understanding” puts the burden entirely on those who were hurt to just get over it. That’s not the same as acknowledging the pain caused. AIBU to think a bit more than “thanks for understanding” was needed here — from both of them?

I'd like to say its been fun but that would be a lie - its been beyond tedious... And FYI - select the emoji - it is indeed labelled as a cup of tea. I doubt very much there is even a 'pea soup' emoji 👋

It’s a bowl of green liquid. There isn’t even a handle to make it a cup.

Have you been on the babychams again?

As much fun as this insanity has been tonight, it’s time for bed. I’ll see you in my dreams @BingoJingo you bizarre little chipmunk.

Oh dear... You need to stop projecting your flattery onto me.. Its getting a bit much.

@BingoJingo you replied! I knew you wouldn’t let me down. I know you love me but you have to let me go, it’s for the best in the long run.

What’s that? Pea soup?

Think you should calm down and have a nice cup of🍵.

Totally agree with you OP and props to you for articulating this so well. He really should apologise. Too much focus and lenience is being offered on account of Tourette’s and the word he blurted out is being overlooked.

Two things can be true at once: a person can have an involuntary condition which causes them to say anything (particularly offensive words), and said person can still apologise for the offensive words they used by accident.

My focus is on Michael and Delroy. The N-word loudly and quite aggressively being hurtled at you, while on stage, on live TV is chilling regardless of the source/nature. And for that, an apology is owed.

Pretty sure if John had said the N-word directly to Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo, an apology would have followed no question simply out of principle.

The eye rolling emoji’s, “FFS” and general “get over it” attitude in some of these responses is absolutely absurd yet very telling. The state of it. Incapable of being fair and just, when it comes to blackness. Able to see more humanity in animals than your fellow man. I bet the majority of the eye rollers would want an apology if John had involuntarily yet aggressively harmed a dog.

I can only imagine the shock Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo must have felt in the moment. When you’re black in a predominantly white space you do brace yourself for any level of disrespect and bias. Unconscious or conscious. For a split second, they both would have felt a trickle of fear for their safety.

I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘innit’ before in my whole life but yeah I’m deffo too thick to be here ain’t I hun. You’re too clever for a thicko like me. I see that now and I wholeheartedly apologise for my utterly egregious first post. Thankyou for showing me the error of my ways and educating me. I wish you good luck in educating everyone else you deem below you similarly as you move forward and I will take your advice over to a more suitable forum (I assume you mean netmums).

This is not goodbye @BingoJingo , this is just farewell.

Totally agree with you OP and props to you for articulating this so well. He really should apologise. Too much focus and lenience is being offered on account of Tourette’s and the word he blurted out is being overlooked.

Two things can be true at once: a person can have an involuntary condition which causes them to say anything (particularly offensive words), and said person can still apologise for the offensive words they used by accident.

My focus is on Michael and Delroy. The N-word loudly and quite aggressively being hurtled at you, while on stage, on live TV is chilling regardless of the source/nature. And for that, an apology is owed.

Pretty sure if John had said the N-word directly to Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo, an apology would have followed no question simply out of principle.

The eye rolling emoji’s, “FFS” and general “get over it” attitude in some of these responses is absolutely absurd yet very telling. The state of it. Incapable of being fair and just, when it comes to blackness. Able to see more humanity in animals than your fellow man. I bet the majority of the eye rollers would want an apology if John had involuntarily yet aggressively harmed a dog.

I can only imagine the shock Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo must have felt in the moment. When you’re black in a predominantly white space you do brace yourself for any level of disrespect and bias. Unconscious or conscious. For a split second, they both would have felt a trickle of fear for their safety.

Extreme reaction? I said off you trot and explained why I thought your comment was pointless. Yet here you are again arguing the toss because you seem upset that I referred to your post in a negative way. Clearly you are getting all hot and bothered about it as you can't let it go.

I have sympathy for anyone with Tourette’s. I genuinely do. It’s a difficult condition and I’m not for one second suggesting John Davidson is a bad person or that he chose to say what he said. But sympathy for a condition doesn’t mean the impact on others gets ignored.

Intent matters but so does impact. If I accidentally stand on someone’s foot I still say sorry, even though I didn’t mean to do it. “I didn’t mean it” and “I acknowledge I hurt you” are not mutually exclusive. I wouldn’t get annoyed at the suggestion of apologising simply because I didn’t mean it, so why is this different? Especially as it was a public stage in front of millions. I don’t expect John to apologise every day in normal interactions, but at such a public forum - he should. Michael B Jordan looked visibly devastated. It was so sad.

When he saw two Black men and the n-word came out — not H**ky at the white hosts for example, not some other neutral word, the n-word directed at Black people in the room — that caused real harm to real people. Tourette’s tics are shaped by what the brain reaches for as most “forbidden” in a given moment, and what it reached for when he saw two Black men was a racial slur aimed at them. That raises really uncomfortable questions about unconscious bias that most people would rather sidestep entirely.

It doesn’t make him a conscious racist. But it does make it a conversation worth having, because our unconscious associations don’t come from nowhere — they’re shaped by everything we’ve absorbed over a lifetime. That connotation being the first place his brain went is something that deserves acknowledgement, not just a pass because of the diagnosis. And as a POC, I have to be honest — this is heartbreaking. Not just the incident itself but what it represents.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain to white friends and colleagues that certain spaces feel uncomfortable, that you notice the stares, that you carry this constant low level awareness of how you might be being perceived. And so often the response is “you’re imagining it” or “you’re being too sensitive.” You get gaslit into doubting your own lived experience. Well — moments like this are exactly why it isn’t in our heads. This is the reality POC navigate every single day. Always on alert. Always doing that mental calculation of whether someone is judging you for the colour of your skin. That emotional labour is exhausting and largely invisible to people who’ve never had to carry it.

John thanking the audience for their “understanding” puts the burden entirely on those who were hurt to just get over it. That’s not the same as acknowledging the pain caused. AIBU to think a bit more than “thanks for understanding” was needed here — from both of them?