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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Any police officers here ?

88 replies

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 18:31

Is there any police officers here that can help?

I accidentally didnt scan some items, has my daughter with me was so stressed. Had a migraine so had sunglasses on so people may of thought i looked weird.

i have awful anxiety, OCD , PMDD for sormone else it’s nothing. I realised when i got home. I rang the customer service and the said just return. This was at a different branch. Items have been returned and paid for. Im worrying what if they thought it was intentional cause the police and not aware ive returned and paid for items?
it happened 17 days ago.

thank you

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Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:54

@Howmanytimescanichangemyname thank you so much!! 🙏🏽 i bet you think im absolutely nuts 😅 x

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Howmanytimescanichangemyname · 23/02/2026 20:51

@Starrrz I've been a police officer for a very long time and I can assure you absolutely nothing is going to happen here.

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:49

@Howmanytimescanichangemyname thank you for your message. I seriously need to try and drop this now. Everyone is saying the same thing. X

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Howmanytimescanichangemyname · 23/02/2026 20:47

You need 5 elements to commit theft -

  • dishonestly
  • appropriate
  • property
  • belonging to another
  • with the intention to permanently deprive

Without all of these, the offence isn't made out. You weren't dishonest and you didn't have the intention to permanently deprived anyone. You're fine.

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:43

@SlothSpiritAnimal im glad your better now ☺️ yes its hard, hopefully it will ease for me soon. Thank you so much for replying to me x

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SlothSpiritAnimal · 23/02/2026 20:38

I’m much better now, thank you. I learnt to distract myself by doing silly things like balancing on one leg or holding something cold and I think it retrained my brain to stop focussing on the disruptive thoughts and think about something harmless. I don’t really get the thoughts anymore.
hoping you can find something that helps you too. It’s good that you know it’s anxiety and recognise that you know deep down it won’t happen - it’s your brain looping around the same thing repeatedly.

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:29

@SlothSpiritAnimal im sorry youve suffered with anxiety in the past. I hope your doing better now?

i keep saying to myself what is the worst thing? They would come and see my receipt? But my brain is just so loud not letting it go. I wish i could just flip a switch and be done with it x

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Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:22

@worldshottestmom i know :( its very sad you just wanna help them.

yes i know, i saw someone in asda walk out with a trolley and nobody could do anything !!

thank you so much x

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worldshottestmom · 23/02/2026 20:20

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:17

@worldshottestmom people taking that much on purpose is scary!! How could they live with themselves? I once worked in a supermarket, i saw a mum with two young kids take bread and ham i felt soo sad for her even though what she was doing was wrong she had such sadness in her eyes. She came in another time and was like £3 short i paid it for her and she cried. People like that i feel very sorry for. But that amount of money is really bad!!

i rang customer service right away and offered to pay over the phone. She was so chilled about it and said just go to a local branch i just said ok.
x

Aw that is heart breaking honestly. Seen many times women with prams putting nappies underneath and a few bits of cheap food that they clearly couldn't afford, always looking really down and sad. It was an unofficial staff role never to pull up these people, unless they started taking the piss lol.

How anyone has the balls to steal hundreds i really don't know, it's terrible and so wrong. Well you did the right thing, put your mind at ease x

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:17

@worldshottestmom people taking that much on purpose is scary!! How could they live with themselves? I once worked in a supermarket, i saw a mum with two young kids take bread and ham i felt soo sad for her even though what she was doing was wrong she had such sadness in her eyes. She came in another time and was like £3 short i paid it for her and she cried. People like that i feel very sorry for. But that amount of money is really bad!!

i rang customer service right away and offered to pay over the phone. She was so chilled about it and said just go to a local branch i just said ok.
x

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worldshottestmom · 23/02/2026 20:12

Ex-supermarket worker here; I can assure you nobody cares lol. People do this on purpose all the time, and still dont get banned. Police are only contacted if over £150 worth of stock is intentionally stolen, and even then, rarely do anything.

One time had 4 men in balaclavas with crow bars steal all cash from the petrol station there (nobody got hurt); police were called and told store manager "if there's no blood, why are you calling us?". Bout sums it up.

Mistakes happen, it's normal. Don't let your anxiety fool you into thinking its a huge deal, it really isn't lol. And your response to phone them and tell them is so honest of you, and honestly probably would of been the first time anyone would of gone out of their way to do that haha.

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:08

@Happyjoe thank you! Sometimes i wish i wasnt ast life would be easier. Im the person that gets stopped in a shop to sign up to a charity and i cant just walk by i always sign up. My husbands says how many homeless and dogs and cats are you paying for 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣 x

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Griffindor1979 · 23/02/2026 20:06

Not at all will check now x

Happyjoe · 23/02/2026 20:06

OP, if only everyone were as honest and kind as you, it would be a better world!

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:06

@Griffindor1979 ive sent you a message i hope you dont mind x

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Starrrz · 23/02/2026 20:04

@Griffindor1979 its awful isnt lt ! I have to write notes everywhere to remind me etx. Im gonna deffo keep it for my peace of mind. X

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Griffindor1979 · 23/02/2026 20:00

I have huge cognitive and memory issues too so understand! 😃 it's awful I'm so reactive in my body to anxiety. But you can finally relax. Keep the receipt just for your own peace of mind, but you won't need it xx

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 19:58

@Griffindor1979 thank you so much!! All ive been thinking about is that. Being arrested losing my job! Its crazy how some people are so laid back about things like this and I’ve completely lost my mind. My health issues cause so much brain fog etc, the other day i was trying to get my new glasses ordered and didn’t wanna be in town whilst it was getting dark. I fell over rushing back, drove home and realised i didnt pay for my car park ticket. I had to drive all the way back again and pay. X

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Griffindor1979 · 23/02/2026 19:54

Yes you will absolutely be fine . The law isn’t there to prosecute people for innocent mistakes, you can now put it to bed and start to try and get your nervous system regulated . You poor thing I wish I had been able to help put your mind at ease sooner! X

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 19:52

@Griffindor1979 thank you for your message! Its made me so ill! Never been in trouble with the law. If anything was to of happened would it of by now? And if i showed my receipt will i be ok?

thank you x

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Griffindor1979 · 23/02/2026 19:48

Hi! 👋 Police 👮 - don’t worry at all- no offences committed and so please don’t stress ! Honest mistake is all it was. I promise you have zero to worry about. If only everyone had such a conscience.

SlothSpiritAnimal · 23/02/2026 19:40

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 19:23

@SlothSpiritAnimal thank you! I hope so to! Ive lost 13lbs in these 17 days. I love my food but i judt cant even face it. I need to sort myself out. That makes me feel calmer that they would of been out if anything happened x

Sorry to hear that. It must be awful.
As PP have said, can you now sit with this and let yourself accept that you have your answers? If you can let the anxiety pass and let yourself believe that you know the truth and you don’t require further reassurance will the feeling get better?
I have had anxiety in the past, not as severe as you describe, but allowing myself to think about ‘what’s the worst thing that could happen?’ And then stepping back through to ‘what’s likely to happen’ based on my lived experience was helpful in stepping back from the catastrophising.

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 19:29

@VelvetSabotage its the worst feeling in the world. Its deffo making me worse i know it :(

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VelvetSabotage · 23/02/2026 19:23

OP you indicate all the features of moral responsibility OCD here: https://www.federicoferrarese.co.uk/2025/11/23/hyper-responsibility-ocd/

I sympathise as I've had it too. The best course of action/treatment is ERP (exposure response prevention) - this means you stop checking and reassuring yourself and allow the anxiety to subside naturally. It takes time but it really works. I promise you that the obsessive checking is making this much much worse

Hyper-Responsibility OCD vs Moral Responsibility Explained. A young man in a kitchen appearing distressed while making coffee on the left, and the same man calmly cooking at a stove in a brighter kitchen on the right.

Hyper-Responsibility OCD vs Moral Responsibility Explained

Discover the key differences between Hyper-Responsibility OCD and moral responsibility in this clear CBT guide by a qualified therapist.

https://www.federicoferrarese.co.uk/2025/11/23/hyper-responsibility-ocd/

Starrrz · 23/02/2026 19:23

@SlothSpiritAnimal thank you! I hope so to! Ive lost 13lbs in these 17 days. I love my food but i judt cant even face it. I need to sort myself out. That makes me feel calmer that they would of been out if anything happened x

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