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Original poster

AIBU - to be annoyed with in-laws letting DD do whatever she likes

45 replies

WhoSaidWhat123 · 23/02/2026 17:26

Come home from work to find my 2yo eating her second packet of crisps in the space of 20mins, plus around supper time.

Their response is they won’t let her cry so they give her whatever she wants.

DH has had a word with them before about this because she’ll just snack on junk in their presence. Does DH have a word again or do we let it slide because they don’t care for her often. However DD is now hysterical with us because she wants chocolate but we’ve asked her to wait until after supper 😣

I just think them letting her have her own way is not helping DD at all because she is then crying anyway (just not in their presence) because supper is literally in 5mins and we don’t want her to have chocolate (on top of 2 crisps) and apparently chocolate after school (according to eldest DD). And because surely 2 packets of crisps isn’t healthy for a 2yo?! And can’t they see that?

OP posts:
LadyCrustybread · 23/02/2026 18:51

Barnbrack · 23/02/2026 18:50

So long as you don't want them to babysit again, so rude

Show quote history

What’s rude is feeding a toddler food that is bad for her health against her parents’ wishes.

Barnbrack · 23/02/2026 18:50

LadyCrustybread · 23/02/2026 18:45

Send Them a video of her screaming and crying and refusing dinner and say ‘thanks for feeding her things we asked you not to… this is the result.’

So long as you don't want them to babysit again, so rude

ZenNudist · 23/02/2026 18:47

This is what grandparents (some grandparents) do. If they are looking after her you need to get new childcare then she can spend fun time with them instead where they get to spoil her.

LadyCrustybread · 23/02/2026 18:45

Send Them a video of her screaming and crying and refusing dinner and say ‘thanks for feeding her things we asked you not to… this is the result.’

curious79 · 23/02/2026 18:45

My dad used to give my daughter a little secret stashes of chocolate and now he’s always criticising her because in his mind she’s too fat. Getting a two-year-old into healthy habits is really important. Frankly, even one packet of crisps a day is too much.

Gowlett · 23/02/2026 18:45

My mum gives DS the food she finds the easiest.
Not always ideal. Luckily she’s not big on sweets.

Comefromaway · 23/02/2026 18:44

You need to stop them looking after her. I bitterly regret not putting my foot down over this. They would sneakily feed Dd junk until she was physically sick & she says that now as an adult she has disordered eating.

Simonjt · 23/02/2026 18:42

Endofyear · 23/02/2026 18:38

I think Grandparents indulging their Grandchildren is totally normal. Mine did and the world didn't end! If they don't look after her that often, let it go. When I used to stay with my nan, we sometimes just had mugs of tea and a ton of biscuits for tea and she used to give me sugar on toast for breakfast 😂

We fall on this side as well, the old if mum and dad say no ask grandma and grandad.

goz · 23/02/2026 18:41

How often is she there? I don’t think it’s really on grandparents to have strong parenting rules, that’s for the parent. No child turns out spoilt because their grandparents give them a few extra treats in the week.

FiatLuxAdAstra · 23/02/2026 18:40

I’m more relaxed about this. They don’t care for her often, so it doesn’t affect her health to have 2 packets crisps and a bit of chocolate. As for dinner, just tell her the chocolate is dessert and it’s backwards dinner day or some such. No need to get into a battle of wills and get everyone upset.

Harrietsaunt · 23/02/2026 18:39

Clearly they can’t be trusted to have DD unsupervised so it will have to stop.

Endofyear · 23/02/2026 18:38

I think Grandparents indulging their Grandchildren is totally normal. Mine did and the world didn't end! If they don't look after her that often, let it go. When I used to stay with my nan, we sometimes just had mugs of tea and a ton of biscuits for tea and she used to give me sugar on toast for breakfast 😂

NoSoupForU · 23/02/2026 18:36

How often is it happening? If once every now and then I'd let it slide. If every day I'd reassess my options for childcare.

ginasevern · 23/02/2026 18:33

If they're providing free childcare and it isn't that often, then I personally wouldn't make a song and dance about it. Also, grandparents have indulged grandkids since time began. But if you feel that strongly about it, then stop leaving your kids with them.

Didimum · 23/02/2026 18:04

Does DH have a word again or do we let it slide because they don’t care for her often. However DD is now hysterical with us because she wants chocolate but we’ve asked her to wait until after supper

How often is 'they don't care for her often'? Because I'm tempted to go with your DH on this one. My twins both whined and badgered me for snacks at non-appropriate times despite me or any caretakers relenting on it. Some kids are just headstrong.

notmuchtoit · 23/02/2026 17:57

Are they providing childcare while you work? Bit difficult for you to not ask them to look after her again if that's the case.

Coconutter24 · 23/02/2026 17:56

If DH has spoke to them before and let them know how you both feel about the snacks and they are choosing to ignore that then I think you either accept a few snacks will be given or find alternative childcare.
Given you said they don’t look after her often I’d let it slide

Nofeckingway · 23/02/2026 17:52

That is really irresponsible of them . Your DH will have to tell them that they won't be asked again if you can't trust them . It's not even a sensible thing like a small treat after lunch etc. And maybe hide all the stuff if they are ever over again . But you stay out of it let your DH handle his people .

ThatHappyBlueCritic · 23/02/2026 17:49

I don’t have people look after my girls that aren’t capable and it sounds like your in laws are incapable if they cannot say no to a 2 year old and redirect them.

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