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Original poster

If you had kids young and were judged for it how do you feel seeing the current trendy opinion has switched to praising young motherhood?

168 replies

Rosyfish · 23/02/2026 14:08

Less than ten years ago I had my child at 16 and was judged harshly by pretty much everyone, everywhere I went stared at and occasionally straight up insulted for years.

Now it seems the same type of people judging me then are online moaning about the current generation leaving motherhood too late. Every other month there’s a piece on the news about low fertility rates and Gen Z’s not growing up.

In under a decade! The current zeitgeist has changed so much, anyone else feel a little vindicated?

OP posts:
4ad4ever · 23/02/2026 14:30

Idontspeakgermansorry · 23/02/2026 14:23

I'm 22 and a mother. My husband and my job support me.

Show quote history

That’s extremely unusual where I’m from.
My point is most young women in that position would miss out on higher education, have relatively limited job opportunities, need parental support etc. I doubt most 22 year olds would feel they’d met the right person or want to be committed like that either.

grammargran · 23/02/2026 14:29

I had my first as a late teen (was married) and felt very conscious about it as it was not a norm in my family at all. I'm very glad I didn't leave it until late 30s, but there's a vast gap between having a baby at 16 and 40. The current Zeitgeist certainly is not in favour of teen pregnancies as far as I've seen.

Snorlaxo · 23/02/2026 14:29

The types of men preaching women having babies young aren’t the types who would have made good dads at that age. They forget that a child ideally needs a mum and dad in their life.

These men would happily have a baby with a 16 year old girl but they wouldn’t advocate a 16 year old boy to make that choice.

JacquesHarlow · 23/02/2026 14:29

owlpassport · 23/02/2026 14:27

It's not about praising anything, it's about controlling and judging women.

ha snap, we posted at the same time.

I cannot STAND it. We should stop judging women!

Original poster
Rosyfish · 23/02/2026 14:28

PersimmonsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 23/02/2026 14:25

Do you mean the few right wing commentators who are advocating for women to have kids and stay out of the workplace ?
Not sure even they mean as young as 16.

Not as young as 16, but 18-25 there are definitely a lot of people moaning that that age group aren’t having kids like they did in previous generations. Ironic because that generation were told not to have children until they’ve gone to university and lived a little now people are moaning because Gen Z listened?

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 23/02/2026 14:28

British women (and I am one) are just judgemental no matter what the age.

They snipe at people who have managed to become self-sufficient or wealthy enough to make the choice younger, and therefore have more children than them.

They snipe at people who aren't wealthy but who had relationships younger than their professional middle class myopic view.

They snipe at older mothers who somehow managed to have children later on in life, claiming that they're "risking their child's health"

You cannot win. If you even have your child at 31, or 29, or god knows when..... someone will come along to say "nah, that's too late".

owlpassport · 23/02/2026 14:27

It's not about praising anything, it's about controlling and judging women.

goz · 23/02/2026 14:26

I don’t think anyone in their right mind thinks 16 is an ideal time to have children, not sure what you feel vindicated over.

The “fertility rate” is related to births vs number of women, it’s not always a negative and doesn’t account for choice.

PersimmonsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 23/02/2026 14:25

Do you mean the few right wing commentators who are advocating for women to have kids and stay out of the workplace ?
Not sure even they mean as young as 16.

Legomania · 23/02/2026 14:23

Why would anyone be advocating for people to have children before they've finished their education?

Idontspeakgermansorry · 23/02/2026 14:23

4ad4ever · 23/02/2026 14:21

No, they want mothers to be young and completely self-sufficient as in not a burden on the state.
Who’s supposed to be supporting them, financially and otherwise, or how they’re meant to be able to support themselves is anyone’s guess.

Show quote history

I'm 22 and a mother. My husband and my job support me.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 23/02/2026 14:23

You can't win either way. You probably will get judged for being 16. Ironically though sometimes those young mums then say they wouldn't be seen dead having a child after 30. 🤷

ClaytonC · 23/02/2026 14:22

Nobody’s praising 16yos getting pregnant now either.

4ad4ever · 23/02/2026 14:21

Idontspeakgermansorry · 23/02/2026 14:12

It's not swung quite that far over. People are definitely not advocating for teen pregnancy, as a solution for low fertility rates.

No, they want mothers to be young and completely self-sufficient as in not a burden on the state.
Who’s supposed to be supporting them, financially and otherwise, or how they’re meant to be able to support themselves is anyone’s guess.

NormaJune · 23/02/2026 14:20

I can't imagine how judged you must have felt, as it was bad enough for me in my early twenties. I don't think the world is getting less judgmental though.

My perception is that it's being called a fertility crisis now which isn't really the case. It's more to do with society than fertility so seems an odd way to frame it.

Original poster
Rosyfish · 23/02/2026 14:17

NeatJoker · 23/02/2026 14:12

I haven’t observed a zeitgeist either way in favour of younger/older motherhood. Everyone likes to criticise mothers no matter the age.

Edited to add: I felt judged as “older” having my first at 32. I think it depends on geographical area.

Edited

Can’t win can you, 28-32 is supposed to be bang average and still get judged!

OP posts:
Idontspeakgermansorry · 23/02/2026 14:12

It's not swung quite that far over. People are definitely not advocating for teen pregnancy, as a solution for low fertility rates.

NeatJoker · 23/02/2026 14:12

I haven’t observed a zeitgeist either way in favour of younger/older motherhood. Everyone likes to criticise mothers no matter the age.

Edited to add: I felt judged as “older” having my first at 32. I think it depends on geographical area.

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