Ok to let three year old daughter wear a play dress outside of home?

FWIW though, I wouldn't consider the act of forcing a 3yo out of (or in to) certain clothes, to be abusive or over a line, in itself. I think that's a bit OTT. I've had to do that a few times, when mine were two or three, if they were tantruming and we were in a rush / something was unsafe or gross. One time for example, my 2yo pooed his pants, but because of 2yo logic, wanted to undress himself, which would definitely have ended up with poo everywhere. So I did have to undress him "against his will", as it were. Or other times, if they insisted on wearing shorts on a snowy day, I might jam them into a pair of trackies, if we were running late for school run or GP appointment or something.

She sounds awesome and he's a bully.

Wait until DD is a teen. This man needs to learn to pick his battles!

I bought my daughter a beautiful dress to wear on Xmas day. Santa brought her a new ballet tutu with Elsa on it for her ballet class. Guess which one got worn out for dinner on Xmas day. I fear your husband was brought up in a ‘because I said so’ way and is not breaking the cycle!

Aaaah poor DD! Mine have been out with all sorts; tiger onesies, superhero costumes, knights tunics / cloaks, fake tattoos, glittery nail varnish (on boys).... my eldest went through a stage where he wore a top hat type thing everywhere he went. Makes me feel wistful thinking of it now!! The only thing I didn't allow, were weapons, and that was mainly to save any unwitting bystanders from getting bashed unexpectedly in Tesco. I think with a 3yo, anything that isn't dangerous / rude / lots of hassle, should be allowed.

Oh gosh! I’ve always encouraged my children to choose what they wear and be who they want to be from a young age. My 4 year old has been out today as Owlette from PJ masks and teamed it with bright pink crocs. She was happy.
It’s not a battle I’d ever have. They’re just clothes 🤷‍♀️

He is a tw@t anime your dd is a completely normal child in choosing what she'd like to wear.

is he always this forceful to get his own way?

Do you always let him upset her even when you disagree?

Ohhhh, I have been out in public with Spiderman, a pink flamingo, a ballet dancer and a dinosaur on a few occasions in my life. They have put in appearances when we went shopping on the high street. the cinema (Spiderman) and various family visits/meals out.

As long as they are decent outfits and its not a formal event and they are appropriately dressed for the weather, where is the harm?

I can tell you that there are lots of beaming faces from adults when the kids went out like this.

I think this says more about your husbands own inhibitions and fear of being judged than anything else.

He sounds like an abusive arse.

Let her wear what she likes. I wish I could fit into my granddaughter’s pink princess dress 😁

He physically forced her out of her dress? That’s absolutely awful.

Gosh DD1 went out and about and even to nursery for a year dressed as "Madeline" from the film, complete with straw hat

How odd of him to make your own child 'less'...to mute their creativity and imagination ...the sort of thing that could change a child's whole future and development...OP you need to talk to him about developmental stages and he needs to understand how children learn before he changes her beautiful personality and crushes her spirit

I mean my almost three year old when out for a pub lunch yesterday wearing a football strip (had been at football “lessons” in the morning) a pair of Spider-Man wellie boots, a cowboy hat and a superhero cape. We were running late for our reservation and I’m all about picking your battles! Sure people looked but all we got was smiles. I don’t understand the “what would people think” thing, surely what they think is look at that cute toddler who’s picked his own clothes today, how sweet.

Reminds me of the time my 3 year old DS insisted on wearing his all in one swimsuit with sun glasses all day outside. Made people smile. Your DH needs to chill out. Literally no one cares what a small child is wearing.

Bloody hell, my youngest was almost permanently dressed as Batman for about 5 years. She should absolutely be allowed to wear her fairy princess dress everywhere!!

He forced a dress off a 3 year old for reasons that he can’t actually give (because frankly a 3 year old wearing dress up out is normal) is awful OP really awful

and if she mentions it to an adult at pre school it is a massive safeguarding concern

He carried her upstairs and forced it off her.

Horrible and mean.

He reacted like this because he was out of his window of tolerance. What else had happened that day? Was he worried about the lunch - was it with difficult family members? Was he worried about the cost? Had your DD been irritating that morning? (Toddlers can be infuriating) I doubt the reaction was really about the dress

I’ve always had little ones take off their dressing up clothes when we go out- not as a big deal, just because the dressing up clothes generally are for playing with at home. It all sounds like a massive drama was made of it tbh.

So it was a fabric costume and it was pretty impractical but I could sit down. I used to exterminate people who broke rules and often remained in character for extended periods of time. Got wished Merry Christmas and I said “we don’t have Christmas on Skaro” … I really thought I was a Dalek 😭.

Your husband is really mean and boring. That's really sad for your poor little girl.

I love seeing little kids dressed up, its really cute.
They are little for such a short amount of time.

I genuinely didn't even know this was a thing that some parents don't allow. I usually have any combination of Elsa, Iron Man, one of the 101 dalmatians, a horse, a firefighter, a ballerina, or Catboy with me 😅 I think mine wear costumes more than they do normal clothes. If the clothes are clean, weather appropriate and don't hamper their movement, they pass my test! Your DH sounds a little miserable.

My granddaughter refuses to wear girlie clothes. She always wears superhero clothes to parties etc .All fine here.

I think he's silly to care, but more worrying is that he carried her off and forced her out of it even when she was so upset. Did he hurt her? In that moment would he have noticed or cared?