To not want to borrow maximum amount? Mortgage with DP

I wouldn’t max out unless it was absolutely necessary to get a decent house. Obviously it’s area dependent but it doesn’t seem like you are in that position so get the mortgage you need to buy a house that is suitable.

I think being able to enjoy life, to not be constantly worrying about the boiler going or the car breaking down, to be able to travel - all those things that come with having disposable income, are far more important than having the fanciest possible house in the poshest area.

Don't max yourself out - DH and I thought about it but went for the smaller more affordable house. Couple years later Liz Truss hit. If we had gone for the bigger house the payments would have crippled us. You need some wiggle room for uncertain times.

It depends if the compromised amount gives you what you need in a house to not have to move within a few years. We bought about 60k less than the max but it still gave us the school zone we wanted plus a decent house and garden, definitely the more sensible choice. Within 6 months we just paid for a new kitchen and that week the boiler broke plus the electrics needed sorted so that wiped out all savings! Its been very tight for a few years but starting to feel a bit more affordable now, so glad we were sensible and didn't over extend ourselves.

I went into psychosis and was in an elite profession but overnight lost the ability to work. its complicated and ive not been able to work for the last six or so years

My DS and his partner, don’t earn as much as you, but have similar £235,000 mortgage that’s £1,400 per month, it’s a flat so with other utilities and maintenance that’s one salary gone. Food and extras come to around £200 per month. Partner was out of work for 5 months in the past year and it did get close to having to use their savings. My first property we borrowed more than we could realistically afford and were basically just covering our costs for over a year, but it was so worth it, just to get on property ladder and live together.

I'd leave a bit of breathing space. Maybe you can afford it now, but you never know when interest rates will shoot up again, or energy prices will get hiked, and then you're stuffed. Factor in critical illness/life insurance to the mortgage if you can. My DH got cancer and the critical illness insurance gave us a £50k payout. When it came back and was terminal, the life insurance paid of the remaining mortgage when he died. I'd have been homeless otherwise as I couldn't afford it on my own.

I decided that I would rather have security of savings and more options in life rather than the big house. Don't get me wrong I do look at some people's homes and think if only. But now we're at the other side and one child has left home, one only a couple of years to go and we've virtually paid the mortgage off in my mid forties. Life here we come!!!!

This is my parents advice too. DDad was a financial advisor. I just wonder if this advice is up to date?
We're wondering the same about stretching ourselves too OP

What does he want out of the house? Is he proposing paying top whack for best schools and location or just bigger?

We settled on average I a nice area with similar figures as you used the extra money to overpay. We can comfortably afford a holiday abroad, clubs, activities, vet fees etc and can accumulate savings and put money in pensions. We can move "up" if we want to. But we have space, time and money.

So what does he think the money for the top whack houses is buying?

I think also be prudent and don't max out. Bit different but when I bought my house, I was single so needed to be mindful. I bought a house which had scope for improvement and extension and I've done this as I earned more money so you could look for a house like this which gives you options.

Borrow what one person can afford maximum. You don’t know what is around the corner.

Remember interest rates could go up. If you stretch yourself now and then interest rates go up when any fixed term finishes, could you afford to increase the payments? Ours is due soon and is going from £890 to £1200.

I would never max myself for a mortgage, it would really stress me out! I think the question of where do you spend your leisure time is important, I'm always out and about and love holidays so I went for a cheap house, tiny mortgage and good quality of life. Eg when interest rates went from 2% to 5% my mortgage only went up £100 which is affordable. Some friends went up by nearly a grand, they are stressed and have had to really change their lifestyles.

In these unsettled times it is best to keep the mortgage realistic.

I’d be surprised if they’d loan you £380k on a £65k joint income.

Be wary of what the mortgage in principle provider says as this doesn’t necessarily reflect what you can actually borrow…!

My parents advice was always to take the maximum mortgage - houses are usually an appreciating asset so when you eventually come to downsize/sell/ release equity you will have a much larger pot of money than if you’d been cautious

(I’m a single parent with 3 kids - no CMS - ex not interested - I have the max mortgage I can afford. I also have lifestyle insurance etc if I lost my job)

Pre DC but about your age we maxed out what we could borrow but it was driven by the house rather than planning to spend the max we would be able to borrow. Was great but couple of redundancies later and ASD DC later mean we have downsized and it is great having a smaller mortgage. Think it depends what the difference is in what kind of property you could get for those amounts and future plans

We have one DC and earn slightly more than you, around £5000 take home. We also have 1 (& only 1) DC, 2.5yo in nursery 3 days pw. Our mortgage is a bit less than £800 a month and some months are a stretch, others less so.
No other debt, cars owned outright. One 20+ years old, one 10 years old.

We don't live a really extravagant life, but we don't have to worry about everyday expenditure like having lunch out couple of times a month, grabbing coffees, fixing things as they break, etc. We can afford to take a few holidays each year. One abroad one, then a few long weekends in a caravan or Air BnB.

We are also able to put a little aside in an ISA for our DC so that when they are older there is (some) money for a house/university, or whatever they need when they get there.

I guess it therefore depends how you prioritise. A nicer house or a nicer, less stressful life. We went with life, and although I would love to be able to have a bigger house I don't want to lose the life quality we have.

My wife and I recently bought OP and we earn slightly more than you and do not have a child. We are slightly older (late 30s/early 40s).

We also had a healthy deposit of circa £110k. No debts. We borrowed £190k over 20 years. We were absolutely not prepared to go above that because life is about more than paying a mortgage, and we also wanted to ensure that we would actually have disposable income to save and invest. Times have changed, and the likelihood of our generation being able to downsize and release equity in the future is highly unlikely, and I didn’t want to be in a position where we would be asset rich but cash poor. So our plan is to save and invest alongside paying the mortgage for those 20 years. And to also live and enjoy rather than just paying the bills.

I guess it's a personal preference but I wouldn't stretch myself to the max. I am currently borrowing about half of what I could theoretically with the view to pay it off in, hopefully, 7 years I stead of 24. Should I not be able to do that, I have a very comfortable monthly payment. I am also leaving a substantial sum of money in the savings account (although this is mostly because 95 days notice account will likely release the money well after completion, otherwise I'd put half of it into deposit and borrow even less).
Even if I lose my job tomorrow, I will likely be able to keep going for at least five years with a combination of income protection insurance and savings.

My husband and I previously bought a house that was much cheaper than we could afford. I can tell you my personal experience

Advantages:
More disposable income
Never worrying about money
Building good savings
Mortgage now almost paid off
There’s a sense of freedom knowing if one of us was out of work, we’d be financially ok

Disadvantages;
I would like more space, buying cheaper for us meant buying smaller as we wanted a decent area and a modern house.
When we retire, we won’t have the option to downsize and have some equity for retirement (although some of that offset by how much extra we can save)

You’ll sleep easier at night if you could manage the mortgage on one salary.

Think about your wider lifestyle too. Is your life mostly based in the house (WFH, family time, having friends for dinner, hosting visiting relatives)? Or are you out and about as a family, enjoy holidays and so on? If the former, maybe the bigger/better house will be worth it, if the latter, just get what you need for you and your DC and enjoy a bit more disposable income.

That is a hefty deposit. Whose money is that?

I think it depends on what your future prospects look like. When I bought my house my DP was newly qualified and I was in an entry level job. We knew that we wouldn't be on those salaries forever and so we maxed out our borrowing - but we kind of had to in order to buy a house over a flat.

I don't regret it but I wouldn't max out my borrowing now, nearly 10 years later with 2 children and not much salary growth on the horizon unless I want to sell my soul and work 18 hour days.

we didn’t max out and bought a fixer upper that we were able to remortgage for a kitchen extension and loft conversion .. which came 2 and 4 years after the initial buy

I think it depends on your area and the difference in house between max budget and wiggle room. Eg I’d push the budget to get a house over a flat for instance. If it’s just a more impressive house or a 4 bed rather than 3 bed, I’d stick with a lower cost wiggle room house.