To block this flaky Mum friend and ignore her from now on?

Blocking a tired busy mum for being frazzled and forgetful?! With friends like you who needs enemies. Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t really know about. Try being less judgmental and cruel

Blocking is pathetically dramatic.

I would absolutely block. Totally rude and cost you money. No need for any more contact and saying no worries etc is wrong as she has done something wrong. We all have loads on our plates all the time and we don’t let it be the detriment of others … so yeah f**k her 😅

Yes this.

Op, your friend was in the wrong and I hope she has or does apologise profusely and tries to make amends.

OP, do you have any theories why she is flaky? I’m sure some of my mum friends thought I was flaky. I was (unknowingly) living with domestic abuse and undiagnosed autism and ADHD. By the the time DC2 came along, who also had autism and ADHD and therefore never slept and was very demanding, I was working at a level that was beyond my ability to cope. I certainly forgot a few parties, I also forgot quite a few hospital appointments because in those days they did not send out text reminders and I used to
forget To check ky diary. I also turned up for things on the wrong date or the wrong time. I didn’t mean to be like this but I couldn’t cope.
I eventually developed a serious chronic illness and am now too ill to work.

When my dc were little I once went to birthday party a day early 😂. We went in, sat down. Took me quite a while to realise I didn’t know anyone there!

There were times when I really was struggling and can easily see how it could be forgotten.

But you know her and your choice.

It’s a children’s party - I think you’re being dramatic and a bit mean. I get it’s annoying and she sounds flakey, but she didn’t do anything awful, just forgot a party! Just message and say “no worries, shame you couldn’t make it”, then perhaps distance yourself from her a bit. I think blocking on this occasion would be unkind and would make it awkward should you see each other.

Just move on

It sounds like you arent suited to be friends, and that's ok. Blocking and ignoring is very passive aggressive and unnecessary. Just say 'no worries' and keep in light. Dont make plans with her directly incase she forgets, but still include her in any group things that you arent paying for, and dont invite her to things you are paying for.

What's the benefit of saying she doesn't mind something which she clearly does mind?

Omg so dramatic with the “blocking”, surely that’s reserved for people who are harassing you?! Just don’t nvite her again but be a normal polite human being and don’t block or ignore her, so childish

I hate this no show culture. It's rude and wastes peoples time which we already don't have enough of. Yet here we are.

I think you should reply 'I don't mind you not turning up to my kid's birthday party and taking up a space that another child could have had, and not turning up to other events we have arranged, but please stop messaging me afterwards with apologies and reasons.' That should stop her behaviour next time.

I had two friends do this at my DD’s 3rd birthday. One messaged the night of the party and the other messaged 2 days later. They both had reasonable excuses, although one of them could have easily messaged to say she might not make it.
I sent a very basic reply, one suggested trying to catch up, the other just said “my bad”.

I didn’t block either of them, I just kept my distance, stopped reaching out first and the friendships fizzled out.

Because she forgot a party?

The whole blocking thing - sounds like something my 14 yo would say!

No need to block. No need to reply. If she asks whether you got her message just say yes but you “forgot” to reply. It depends how much you (or your son) value the friendship as to whether you withdraw. I have a couple of flaky friends I enjoy spending time with. I know they’re flaky so I never rely on them and only make plans if it’s something where it doesn’t matter whether they turn up or not.

So it’s the forgetting that’s awful, not saying it. At least she didn’t lie.

“I'll just ignore her if she attempts to engage with me.”

Wow, how old are you?!

Yes block her, she doesn’t need friends like that. She needs support it seems.

I get that it’s annoying that you have paid for her son but it doesn’t sound like it was deliberate

Exactly this!!!

I suffer with awful sleep, really busy life, anxiety, blah blah blah and find kids birthday parties quite nerve wracking due to my anxiety but I’d never not show up to a birthday invite we’d accepted. It’s poor form.

I wouldn't bother my arse if she showed up with her kids or didn't. It didn't really affect you. She sounds likes he's struggling, so I'd cut her a modicum of slack and be the better person.

Some people are fine with flakes. Some people can handle someone not turning up because they forgot, where hungover, didn't feel like it or decided sleep was more important than attending an event you committed to in advance.

I'm not one of those people and it doesn't sound like you are either. We all have busy lives it's not an excuse to waste someone else's time and it's a terrible example to set for your children.

Personally I think it’s awful because it’s not just saying “I forgot” it’s saying “you and your kid weren’t important enough to remember” and that is awful.

If you can’t remember to show up for a kids party then stop accepting invites.

I’d just quietly distance myself.