To block this flaky Mum friend and ignore her from now on?

I wouldn’t block her, but I’d do a ‘slow fade’

Yeah, punish the child, that's nice.

Just don't invite her child to anything else.

I wouldn’t block but I would probably send a short reply and keep my distance.

If I’ve said I will show up, I show up. I don’t let people down and I communicate if there’s a problem with plans.

Ok not everyone has the same capacity for these things but I protect myself from being disappointed and upset by letting these people fade to the background if they have been flaky and let me down.

I think it's a bit dramatic and frankly childish and pathetic to block someone for this, as someone who found it overwhelming and did forget things from time to time when DDs were little. I hope you don't ever drop the ball, OP.

That's not to say you have to be best buddies or make plans with her but you can keep it civil, surely?

It's just nasty isn't it?

Women are the worst to each other, how about some compassion. Saying I forgot is honest at least she didn't insert a lie to make it more appealing. I remember being a working mum with terrible sleep, severe PND and feeling constantly at the edge of coping for years. Flaky? You bet I was.

Surrounded by mothers who just wouldn't get off their 'Perfect organised mothers with everything under control pedestal'. My male colleagues and acquaintances were more supportive, sadly.

I hate flakiness too OP it’s a pet peeve and I wouldn’t be interested in a close friendship with someone so scatty. I’d just ignore the message or reply with a thumbs up and keep all chat light and swift with her from now on. She may have loads going on at home but she may well not- I know a few really flakey people and there’s no particular reason for it!

I’d also block and avoid her from now on because you’ve said this isn’t the first time she’s been flaky. I hate flaky people. Plenty of us have busy lives and don’t waste people’s time.

I do think you're overreacting slightly, although I get it's really annoying.

I did this once, stupidly didn't add the invite to my calendar and completely forgot. I was mortified when the mum text me to ask if I was ok, I did try to make it up to her and took her DS and her out to softplay with a big birthday present to apologise.

No need for the drama of blocking, just withdraw from making arrangements with her. Don't initiate invites yourself and be vague if she tries to make an arrangement with you. I find flakey people really irritating and always let any initial friendship fade if they start making a habit of forgetting or cancelling last minute.

I think that distancing yourself from someone is one thing. You just don’t engage, don’t reply and don’t invite.

But blocking people unless there is serious abuse involved is IMO petty pathetic teenage behaviour.

Just don’t bother engaging.

Would you actively blank someone in the street? Cross the road to avoid them? If so then you’re clearly one of those types.

But blocking sends a very real and pretty nasty message, and says a lot more about the person doing the blocking than the one being blocked.

That doesn’t mean you have to continue a friendship, but grown adults blocking and actively ending friendship is anything but grownup behaviour.

I agree no need to block.

But if she is tries to arrange anything again, be honest with her and say sorry you’re not looking to arrange a meet up at the point as in your experience she is unreliable.

We are all busy and hve things going on but i would never forget a party that my child had been invited to.

Blocking is childish in these circumstances. You can fade away from this friendship without acting like a 14 year old.

Hehe - wow! That'll tell her.

Some of these responses are harsh. You could just not invite her kids to stuff in the future. You could try being polite and the bigger person.

Surely life is too short for all these dramatics over not very much.

Phones don't always work for this. I can get a reminder in the morning for something like this, and have completely forgotten 10 minutes later.

She doesn't think that her time is more important than yours. She forgot and apologised.

Lots of people really struggle with this stuff - I used to be one of them, and would feel really awful when I forgot yet again.

Just don't invite her to anything that's time or numbers sensitive.

Yes sometimes people are flaky and I have a friend like that who often cancels last minute, double books or just forgets. I don’t respond to messages now. It is disrespectful. If you have a tendency to forget stuff there is this miraculous thing most of us have in our phones called reminders which you can use if you are disorganised. I wouldn’t reply and just not contact her again.

I wouldn’t block her as that’s just as rude as she was and you should be the bigger person. I would just send a quick reply saying thanks for the apology and understand life gets busy sometimes. Then I wouldn’t bother inviting her to anything again.

As annoying as it is I wouldn’t block or ignore her. I just wouldn’t make plans anymore. I’d let her initiate all meet-ups and if I was due to meet her but something came up I’d cancel her and do the other thing. Treat her the same way. She may then get the message and either step up or the friendship will naturally end

She probably did genuinely forget.

Which is unacceptable. It’s rude and disrespectful. That’s the point.

She forgot because she couldn’t be bothered to remember or to set a reminder, such as putting it in her calendar. Because she didn’t care and wasn’t the one losing money.

If you’re booked in for surgery, and the surgeon forgets to turn up, or a childminder forgets to pick up your child or to feed them, is that OK because they “genuinely forgot though”?

You sound really judgemental. It’s par for the course when you organise a party that someone might skip it (vomiting bug etc).

Maybe she doesn’t ”seem like” she’s drowning in the juggle - maybe she actually is. Maybe she’s ND and genuinely drops the ball all the time as she has very poor executive function. Maybe there’s something going on in her private life that means she’s a little unfocused right now (marriage issues, a sick or abusive parent, or whatever).

Either way you’re welcome to cut her off but to do it over a kids’ party is basically selfish and judgemental. Two people didn’t even turn up to my bloody wedding - and we only invited 45 people! It’s part of the nature of an event that you’ll have drop outs.

I agree with your DH whilst you don't need to reply with anything breezy blocking is a bit childish. More is said by silence and no response.

I understand why you are annoyed- I would be too.

But blocking is childish. I would quietly distance myself, as others have said.

my husabnd is like this and amongst other thigns it broke me completely

She sounds undiagnosed.