To have said this to my cleaner?

If my cleaner had found some cat sick I would not expect them to clean it up. In the same way as I clean and bleach our toilets before they arrive. I know that they would clean all these things for me, but I prefer to do it myself. I draw the line a sh*t and sick!!

Wow.

You don’t mention apologising for the cat sick and that says it all really.

And that you so casually mention pouncing on her once her client had died.

I hope you can use this as an opportunity to reflect on your behaviour op and make some positive changes.

There’s nothing wrong in principle with an employer giving critical feedback in any job.
Having said this, if the balance of power is in favour of the employee (as with cleaners where we live), it would be wise to take that into consideration.

So is this the explanation for "She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about"?

It's mystery cleaner code for "I don't wanna do it and I expect you never to mention this fact"? Like Sicilian Omerta but about untouched cupboard doors?

Complicated

You just don't get the fact that what you said and how you said it was inappropriate do you?

I hope you're joking about approaching her after your neighbour died. That's just beyond awful.

"The thing we never talk about" is very telling from her. It's clear you aren't a great client as you've churned through a lot of cleaners. Maybe just do it yourself and put the $ in a jar for something nice for yourself instead?

Well... I dunno. I don't think I would expect a cleaner to clean up dried poo on the floor, or a blocked toilet.

I'm very torn because on the one hand this refusal to tell me how much time I was getting for my money would irritate me, but on the other hand (and as a truly non-houseproud person) I am absolutely horrified that you noticed your cat had thrown up down a cupboard and didn't immediately clean it up. Honestly, OP, that's really bad. Poo, wee and vom are absolutely not within a cleaner's standard work.

I do my own cleaning so I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the cleaners in my region won't do washing up, for example.

They will clean toilets though, so I don't really know why they wouldn't clean cat sick.

How can she be both ‘isn’t that great’ yet still be ‘one of the best at cleaning and by far the most reliable’?

Well clearly, you expected her to clean up cat sick. She wasn’t happy about that in the first place. That’s why she said it could be the thing you never spoke about - she was willing to overlook it. And now, the fact you’ve criticised her for it is the last straw for her.

You don’t sound like you have much empathy for other people.

You've brought this on yourself - you didn't need to mention the cupboard door at all.
And you should reflect on this "all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers" because it's very likely they won't give you their numbers because they don't want you to upset their cleaner. My cleaner is busy but I'd still pass on her details to friends I think would be good to work for because one of her other clients might drop out for a variety of reasons. But there is no way I'd pass on her details of certain people who I think would be nightmare clients.

Goodness
Are there rules on what cleaners will clean then?
I mean I get one maybe every 6 months when I need a good clean
And I never tidy up for her
I just pay her for what I want
She usually comes for 4 hours.
One time I was pregnant and exhausted the kitchen was awful.and needed a reset
I literally said.do.what you can in those 4 hours.
No discussion on its too messy to.clean etc
I think you pay a tiny bit extra for a deep.clean

So yeah who makes up.these bizaare rules on house being tidy before cleaner comes?
What exactly is.a cleaner for then?
To Polish the house?

How about cleaning your house, yourself. If l was your cleaner, l too would not return, you shouldn't have text her at all. You cleaned the cupboard, job done. You made an issue of it, the cleaner feels aggrieved, start looking for a new one, lesson learned, hopefully

Am I missing something? What is so outrageous about a cleaner cleaning cat sick? I’ve never had a cleaner but surely their job is to clean? What’s the point in cleaning anyway before a cleaner comes?

I’m a cat sitter, and if a cat is sick or I find it, I clean it up.

I am rooting for the cleaner to never come back to this house.

The way OP keeps saying ‘this one’ instead of ‘the cleaner’ or ‘she’ says a lot.

Hmm. Why won't any of your friends give you their cleaners' numbers?! A mystery.

There's somebody at the door! IYKYK

I'd love to know where you all live where cleaners are like gold dust 😂

Genuinely read this as you saying that a long time ago you used to clean donkeys. I need to get some sleep.

OP I think the thing is, cleaners want to have agency. Once they get to know a house, they will find their preferred way of cleaning it; their own order of rooms, their own products etc.
They take on the cleaning of the house in their way, and will want to do a good job for you.

They will not take kindly to being micro-managed every week about the exact things that need doing , and the exact minutes/hours.

So next time you hire somebody, after the trial clean, just let them crack on and stay away.

With this cleaner, if you really want her back, I’d go grovelling with an apology and ask to start afresh.

You could have asked her to do the laundry room without criticising her work, this is totally your own fault.

I don't think the problem was that you mentioned the room to be cleaned, but rather, that after she said she will give it a good clean, you kept on going to say that she forgot last time and the door was dirty.
There was no need for that message.

Beggars can't be choosers. You're gonna have to grovel and apologise for your tone.

But surely you'd take the hint and not message her again about it.