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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said this to my cleaner?

343 replies

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:25

NC for this. I've had this last cleaner for almost a year, I've had several over the years and although this one isn't all that great she's one of the best at cleaning and I will say is by far the most reliable. She comes every other Monday and sometimes I have to text her on a Sunday afternoon to tell her I won't be in as she has to use the key safe (usually I am home).

I wasn't home last time she came, and I won't be home tomorrow either. As always I thanked her for doing a good job, she's always said I must let her know if anything is missed out with her cleaning, so I asked her if she could make sure my laundry room gets a good clean as she forgot to do it last time.

Anyway, a while later she replied and said no problem, sorry if you thought the laundry room hadn't been cleaned, she said she had cleaned it but would give it a good clean. I replied to thank her and said I'd noticed that one of the wall cupboard doors had definitely not been cleaned which made me think she'd forgotten the room. Well she replied quite quickly by saying she knows which door I mean, and that she hadn't cleaned it because it looked like it was covered in dried cat sick (my cat often sleeps on the top of the wall cupboards in the laundry room) and that she didn't want to clean it, and that I must have known about it because otherwise how did I know it hadn't happened after she left? She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about, whatever that means. She then said she can't make tomorrow but would be in touch when she's free.

I suspect now that she won't be coming back, which is infuriating as it's impossible to get people to clean, all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers. I only found this one as she was cleaning for a neighbour one day. I had to wait ages for her to find a space to fit me in. But I can't help think she's taking this way too personally.

OP posts:
sunshinestar1986 · 23/02/2026 08:05

BeanQuisine · 23/02/2026 01:48

I do my own cleaning so I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the cleaners in my region won't do washing up, for example.

They will clean toilets though, so I don't really know why they wouldn't clean cat sick.

Really?
How odd.
That's so strange to me
🤣
I don't get it.
That's literally what I'm paying for.
I'm paying for the time and to get what I need done.
I guess I just been lucky with my cleaner,
I wonder if it's because she's foreign 🤔
She does everything I ask her to and she charges £16 an hour for basic cleaning and £20 for deep cleaning, and I provide my own cleaning supplies.
I feel like that's easy money, I've been thinking that's something I can potentially do.
Where else do you get £20 an hour for an easy job, people are having a laugh.
I only call her when absolutely neccassary.

SleafordSods · 23/02/2026 07:55

Lifestooshort71 · 23/02/2026 07:51

I'd have texted her on the morning saying - Just seen cat's been sick in the utility room, don't worry if you can't face it, I'll clear it up when I get home!
Then it's her choice......

That might have been a better way of going about it Smile

Lifestooshort71 · 23/02/2026 07:51

I'd have texted her on the morning saying - Just seen cat's been sick in the utility room, don't worry if you can't face it, I'll clear it up when I get home!
Then it's her choice......

SleafordSods · 23/02/2026 07:42

I think there is a reason that your DFriends won’t give you the numbers of their cleaners.

Ducksbehindthesofa · 23/02/2026 07:41

"She is also incredibly bossy which I don't like, for example she insists on charging me for coming to the house to clean...."

She insists on charging you for coming to clean your house?
LTB

Hankunamatata · 23/02/2026 07:40

This is on you op
You told her off for not cleaning the door when you knew it had cat sick on it. Id apologise sharpish.

Womaninhouse17 · 23/02/2026 07:37

Yeppa · 22/02/2026 23:52

Did anyone else read the above as “I used to clean donkeys…..years ago” and have the thought that donkey-cleaning seemed like an unusual but potentially fun job???

A prime example of the usefulness of apostrophes!

rainbowstardrops · 23/02/2026 07:36

Is this a wind up?!!!
If not, you’ve just realised that you need your cleaner more than she needs you.

MyDeftDuck · 23/02/2026 07:35

Why hadn’t you cleaned up the cat sick yourself rather than leaving it for your cleaner fortnightly visit? 🤮 That is just gross and I’m not surprised that she’s reluctant to return.

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 23/02/2026 07:32

You were extremely critical OP…and actually come across as quite rude. You absolutely DID leave cat sick and expected her to clean it up. That’s bloody awful! Clean your own cat sick up.

Also, think about why every one of your friends refuse to give you the name and number of their cleaner. You have a reputation…a bad one!

Womaninhouse17 · 23/02/2026 07:30

Have you often criticised her work? Is she never good enough? You may well be within your rights and I know friends who've had cleaners who do a terrible job. (One got sacked, the other carried on doing a terrible job because they'd become a friend...) Could you have a friendly conversation with her to ask if she has any view on the relationship?

LBFseBrom · 23/02/2026 07:30

Was it cat sick? I'd have thought someone employed to clean would clean anything. Presumably if you'd seen it first, you'd have cleaned up that, vomit is not the sort of thing you leave.

People do usually tidy up a bit before a cleaner comes, if they don't the cleaner will be tidying, hanging things up, putting away before actually washing/hoovering/mopping and that cuts into their working time.

Get on to a dometic help agency, there are plenty of those around and very efficient too. You also don't get up close and personal with the cleaners which makes them easier to deal with.

HerosUncle · 23/02/2026 07:23

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olympicsrock · 23/02/2026 07:23

I think you have been really rude OP. No wonder she has cancelled !

LongTermLurker · 23/02/2026 07:19

Haven't read the full thread, but I'm amazed at the horror about cat sick! I used to be a cleaner (both domestic and commercial properties) and would have just got on with it if it's come across cat sick. Not really any worse than cleaning a loo!

Jane143 · 23/02/2026 07:14

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:59

Someone who is able to clean as well as I need it, although I know from experience people who are unreliable are much more difficult to manage. I thought this one was reliable. Maybe not.

You sound a bit superior and snobbish. How much do you pay and for how many hours? She might find it impossible to clean to your standards if she doesn’t have enough hours

babyproblems · 23/02/2026 07:14

RosesAndHellebores · 22/02/2026 19:40

@wellwatnow your comment that you have had this cleaner for a year and prior to that had several says it all.

I've had six cleaners since 1982. The longest stayed 12 years, none less than 5.

If I thought a room hadn't been cleaned, I'd say something like: "Hope you are well and sorry to have missed you lately, I've some stuff to do in the utility this week, please could you give it an extra super clean on Monday". Thanks as ever, see you soon."

You are coming across as hyper critical in your messaging.

This is very tactful and what you should have said op

HerosUncle · 23/02/2026 07:13

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/02/2026 19:30

It tickles me somewhat that people pussy foot around with cleaners when they pay them a fortune and are so grateful. I used to clean donkeys years ago and was paid five pound an hour! I wish the people I’d cleaned for had been so delicate with me.

You don’t say if you did leave dried cat sick for her but youve obviously pissed her off with how you have communicated and yes it sounds like you will be cleaning your own cat sick off your own cupboard in future.

Edited

She probably asked Helen
IYKYK

Astra53 · 23/02/2026 07:10

The reason I leave my house tidy is so my cleaner can actually clean. I don't pay them to tidy up after me. The clue is in their job title!

B1anche · 23/02/2026 07:06

takealettermsjones · 23/02/2026 00:49

Hmm. Why won't any of your friends give you their cleaners' numbers?! A mystery.

OP is probably keeping her fingers crossed now that one of them dies so she can have their cleaning slot.

Ebok1990 · 23/02/2026 06:59

sunshinestar1986 · 23/02/2026 01:24

Goodness
Are there rules on what cleaners will clean then?
I mean I get one maybe every 6 months when I need a good clean
And I never tidy up for her
I just pay her for what I want
She usually comes for 4 hours.
One time I was pregnant and exhausted the kitchen was awful.and needed a reset
I literally said.do.what you can in those 4 hours.
No discussion on its too messy to.clean etc
I think you pay a tiny bit extra for a deep.clean

So yeah who makes up.these bizaare rules on house being tidy before cleaner comes?
What exactly is.a cleaner for then?
To Polish the house?

There's a massive difference between cleaning before a cleaner comes (not needed or expected) and cleaning up cat sick in advance. If the dog did a poo on the kitchen floor, would it be OK to leave that overnight for the cleaner to deal with?

HerosUncle · 23/02/2026 06:48

You left her a bio hazard job, then got pissy when she left it

I wouldn't be back either

rockinrobins · 23/02/2026 06:34

BeanQuisine · 23/02/2026 01:48

I do my own cleaning so I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the cleaners in my region won't do washing up, for example.

They will clean toilets though, so I don't really know why they wouldn't clean cat sick.

Because she could get ill from it. Cleaning a toilet from day to day use and cleaning up vomit are two very different things.

rockinrobins · 23/02/2026 06:32

I think your follow up message that the cupboard definitely had not been cleaned was unnecessary and a little aggressive.

You'd already pointed out the problem, she'd said she'd give it a good clean, you could have just said thanks and left it there.

You shouldn't have left cat sick for her to clean.

IcantFeelMyFaceNow · 23/02/2026 06:02

gamerchick · 22/02/2026 19:43

So why mention it to her at all then?

This.

Entirely.

There are some people that should really think before they hit 'send'.

You are probably one of them because all those brownie points she has stored up mean fuck all to you as a result of a slightly grubby door handle.

Honest to God you don't deserve her.

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