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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have said this to my cleaner?

343 replies

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:25

NC for this. I've had this last cleaner for almost a year, I've had several over the years and although this one isn't all that great she's one of the best at cleaning and I will say is by far the most reliable. She comes every other Monday and sometimes I have to text her on a Sunday afternoon to tell her I won't be in as she has to use the key safe (usually I am home).

I wasn't home last time she came, and I won't be home tomorrow either. As always I thanked her for doing a good job, she's always said I must let her know if anything is missed out with her cleaning, so I asked her if she could make sure my laundry room gets a good clean as she forgot to do it last time.

Anyway, a while later she replied and said no problem, sorry if you thought the laundry room hadn't been cleaned, she said she had cleaned it but would give it a good clean. I replied to thank her and said I'd noticed that one of the wall cupboard doors had definitely not been cleaned which made me think she'd forgotten the room. Well she replied quite quickly by saying she knows which door I mean, and that she hadn't cleaned it because it looked like it was covered in dried cat sick (my cat often sleeps on the top of the wall cupboards in the laundry room) and that she didn't want to clean it, and that I must have known about it because otherwise how did I know it hadn't happened after she left? She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about, whatever that means. She then said she can't make tomorrow but would be in touch when she's free.

I suspect now that she won't be coming back, which is infuriating as it's impossible to get people to clean, all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers. I only found this one as she was cleaning for a neighbour one day. I had to wait ages for her to find a space to fit me in. But I can't help think she's taking this way too personally.

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 22/02/2026 20:27

This level of micromanagement and communication between you seems like a working relationship going sour.

If something was having dried sick on then presumably it is part of her job to clean it?

Equally you seem to be very keen to point out things in a 'you missed a bit' type way which could get annoying. I think you two aren't well suited tbh.

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 20:21

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 20:12

I said she was "one of the best" meaning one of the best I have ever used. Not the best cleaner out there. I have only ever had one person who cleaned what I would call properly, she was a much older lady and I didn't know her first name, she only ever called herself Mrs so-and-so. She was really good but only came about four times before she retired.

Show quote history

You are splitting hairs.

You had a cleaner who was good at cleaning and reliable, it seems you no longer do and that is down to you.

Delphiniumandlupins · 22/02/2026 20:15

Jeez. Texting her when your neighbour died and asking for that slot! Hope you waited until after the funeral.

Original poster
wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 20:12

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 20:07

You are contradicting your opening post where you say she is the best at cleaning and the most reliable.

I suspect the reasons you have gone through so many cleaners is down to your attitude and this is also why your friends won't give you the number of the cleaners they use, you've gained a reputation that results in people not wanting to work for you.

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I said she was "one of the best" meaning one of the best I have ever used. Not the best cleaner out there. I have only ever had one person who cleaned what I would call properly, she was a much older lady and I didn't know her first name, she only ever called herself Mrs so-and-so. She was really good but only came about four times before she retired.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 20:11

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 20:07

You are contradicting your opening post where you say she is the best at cleaning and the most reliable.

I suspect the reasons you have gone through so many cleaners is down to your attitude and this is also why your friends won't give you the number of the cleaners they use, you've gained a reputation that results in people not wanting to work for you.

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So interesting you say this. I’m moving this week and was in the letting agents yesterday to sign some paperwork. A woman at the adjacent desk was asking for recommendations for a cleaner for the end of tenancy deep clean. The agent dealing with her said that they were sorry they didn’t have any recommendations but suggested they go online to look. She left and it reminded me that I need to book someone too for my old place and I said to my agent: “Shame there’s no one you can recommend to do the deep clean as I’ve just remembered I need to sort out too!” She laughed and passed me a business card and said: “Oh we do have preferred suppliers but we had an agreement that we only give cards out to good tenants!”

popcornandpotatoes · 22/02/2026 20:07

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:59

Someone who is able to clean as well as I need it, although I know from experience people who are unreliable are much more difficult to manage. I thought this one was reliable. Maybe not.

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But she didn't do anything wrong except avoid cleaning cat sick, which I wouldn't do either for a cat that wasn't mine, then was annoyed when you pulled her up on it

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 20:07

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:59

Someone who is able to clean as well as I need it, although I know from experience people who are unreliable are much more difficult to manage. I thought this one was reliable. Maybe not.

Show quote history

You are contradicting your opening post where you say she is the best at cleaning and the most reliable.

I suspect the reasons you have gone through so many cleaners is down to your attitude and this is also why your friends won't give you the number of the cleaners they use, you've gained a reputation that results in people not wanting to work for you.

thanks2 · 22/02/2026 20:05

I have had cleaners for 25 years (lucky me) and I would never told them they 'forgot' something. If something was not done I would assume they ran out of time and yes I would say could you clean the laundry today please. But never you forgot something.

Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 20:03

scottishgirl69 · 22/02/2026 20:02

I can assure you that some cats do puke up runny cat sick. Two of mine are notorious for it

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Indeed! Runny cat sick is definitely a thing. Even better when they walk through it and extend the trail… just as well they are cute and fluffy!

scottishgirl69 · 22/02/2026 20:02

WonderingWanda · 22/02/2026 19:59

It sounds to me like she is being a bit daft as well. She's clearly got it in her head you've left cat sick for her and instead of sending you a message saying "Sorry, couldn't face the cat sick so have left that for you" she's being all weird about it. My cleaner left a dead bird the cat dragged in whilst she was there, she out a bit of kitchen roll over it and send me a message. No big deal.

Mind you, if I was your cleaner I would probably have cleaned it up, not sure how suspected cat sick is worse than a skiddy toilet? Also, as the owner of a cat I can honestly say I've never seen runny cat sick. My cat just voms up hair balls.

I can assure you that some cats do puke up runny cat sick. Two of mine are notorious for it

Original poster
wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 20:02

Ebok1990 · 22/02/2026 19:54

If you waited a long time for her, she's obviously in demand and doesn't want or need a client who pulls her up when she doesn't clean up their cats sick.

I don't know about any of her other clients. I never ask and if I'm around she never speaks about them. I just know the old lady across the road had her for a short while, when I saw her I asked for her number, which she gave me, and she said she'd let me know if ever she had space. I texted her a couple of times but she was never available. When the lady died I texted her and said I'd heard she died and asked if I could have that space, so she came to me instead.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 22/02/2026 20:02

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:48

Because I thought the room had been forgotten and I didn't want her to forget to clean it this time.

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If you didn’t have time to clean it then the polite thing would have been to have texted her to warn her to avoid the room. Then let her know when it was properly sorted and the room was available for cleaning again.

ThejoyofNC · 22/02/2026 19:59

Have you considered that you're not nice to work for and you've been blacklisted? I'm sure cleaners speak to eachother and warn them of people not to work for.

Original poster
wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:59

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 19:57

Yes to this, what more do you want or expect from her OP?

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Someone who is able to clean as well as I need it, although I know from experience people who are unreliable are much more difficult to manage. I thought this one was reliable. Maybe not.

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 22/02/2026 19:59

It sounds to me like she is being a bit daft as well. She's clearly got it in her head you've left cat sick for her and instead of sending you a message saying "Sorry, couldn't face the cat sick so have left that for you" she's being all weird about it. My cleaner left a dead bird the cat dragged in whilst she was there, she out a bit of kitchen roll over it and send me a message. No big deal.

Mind you, if I was your cleaner I would probably have cleaned it up, not sure how suspected cat sick is worse than a skiddy toilet? Also, as the owner of a cat I can honestly say I've never seen runny cat sick. My cat just voms up hair balls.

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 19:57

Pollyanna87 · 22/02/2026 19:52

You say she’s not all that great, but one of the best at cleaning and reliable? What else do you want from a cleaner?

Yes to this, what more do you want or expect from her OP?

scottishgirl69 · 22/02/2026 19:56

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:25

NC for this. I've had this last cleaner for almost a year, I've had several over the years and although this one isn't all that great she's one of the best at cleaning and I will say is by far the most reliable. She comes every other Monday and sometimes I have to text her on a Sunday afternoon to tell her I won't be in as she has to use the key safe (usually I am home).

I wasn't home last time she came, and I won't be home tomorrow either. As always I thanked her for doing a good job, she's always said I must let her know if anything is missed out with her cleaning, so I asked her if she could make sure my laundry room gets a good clean as she forgot to do it last time.

Anyway, a while later she replied and said no problem, sorry if you thought the laundry room hadn't been cleaned, she said she had cleaned it but would give it a good clean. I replied to thank her and said I'd noticed that one of the wall cupboard doors had definitely not been cleaned which made me think she'd forgotten the room. Well she replied quite quickly by saying she knows which door I mean, and that she hadn't cleaned it because it looked like it was covered in dried cat sick (my cat often sleeps on the top of the wall cupboards in the laundry room) and that she didn't want to clean it, and that I must have known about it because otherwise how did I know it hadn't happened after she left? She said she left it as she didn't want to clean it up and thought it could be the thing we never spoke about, whatever that means. She then said she can't make tomorrow but would be in touch when she's free.

I suspect now that she won't be coming back, which is infuriating as it's impossible to get people to clean, all my friends that have cleaners tell me they are too busy and won't give me their numbers. I only found this one as she was cleaning for a neighbour one day. I had to wait ages for her to find a space to fit me in. But I can't help think she's taking this way too personally.

I'm sorry but clean up your own cat sick. I have cats and leaving that for someone else isn't on - unless you didn't know about it. Then I would be texting her to say sorry

Ebok1990 · 22/02/2026 19:54

If you waited a long time for her, she's obviously in demand and doesn't want or need a client who pulls her up when she doesn't clean up their cats sick.

Scottishbychoice · 22/02/2026 19:53

I find the MN attitude to cleaners extremely weird. Posters seen to simultaneously be frightened of them and yet be totally disdainful of them.

I worked as a cleaner for a time after I was left very unexpectedly widowed - i'd been a SAHM for many years. But I did in the past have a professional qualifications ,and I did have O levels and A levels and I am a member of Mensa. I worked as a cleaner in various settings including a shop, in an office, an educational institution and in a person's home. The woman whose home is worked was brilliant and treated me as an equal and as a friend. The others treated me as subhuman and stupid.

I don't know the ins and outs of Op's relationship with her cleaner but actually speaking to her as am equal human being would help . And if her cleaner can't reciprocate and have an open discussion about the problem then perhaps OP would be better doing her own cleaning until such time as she can find someone else who she can negotiate a satisfactory arrangement with.
.

Original poster
wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:52

Jan24680 · 22/02/2026 19:49

Oh that's grim. Why did the other cleaners leave?

They didn't, I got rid of them in most cases. I think I've had about five or six regular cleaners in the last 10 or so years. Most were really unreliable, some others I tried just didn't come back after the first one or two cleans. This is why I never give them keys as it's been difficult to get keys back.

OP posts:
Pollyanna87 · 22/02/2026 19:52

You say she’s not all that great, but one of the best at cleaning and reliable? What else do you want from a cleaner?

popcornandpotatoes · 22/02/2026 19:50

Yes I think YABU with your communication, you could've just said can you spend a bit more time in there this week. I would've probably stopped at the point she replied saying sorry you thought it hadn't been cleaned. Going in to detail about a dirty cupboard door was unnecessary

Newname29 · 22/02/2026 19:50

Sounds like you were micromanaging her. I wouldn't be back either!

PlacidPenelope · 22/02/2026 19:50

wellwatnow · 22/02/2026 19:41

But I didn't "leave it for her"! It just happened to be there on the day she was coming to clean any way. It wasn't there the night before, if had I would have cleaned it up.

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But you admit you saw it on your way out, you knew it was there and you left it for her to clean.

Come on, OP, you must have known or had a damn good idea it was cat sick, what else could it have been? What else could have splashed up or down the door in your laundry room?

Jan24680 · 22/02/2026 19:49

Oh that's grim. Why did the other cleaners leave?