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Original poster

Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

588 replies

MamaBee22 · 22/02/2026 14:28

First time posting so please bare with me..

I forgot to take my best friend of 20 years to her colosopy appt. We'd arranged for me to take her and stay with her/bring her back, but the date changed to half term. No childcare and hubby at work so I still offered to drop her off and pick her up. She mentioned a few days prior and I said yeah no problem still good to go.

Fast forward to the day of appt. My DC has a chest infection so had to get her a drs appointment and being completely truthful it just slipped my mind. I didn't realise until it was too late and she text me saying have you forgot?

Obviously I went into panic mode and no deflection, I own my mistake and there's no excuse I shouldn't have forgot. I'm only human and it just slipped my mind. I apologised and said I understand why she'd be cross but let me know how it went.

I'm am a dependable friend 99% of the time. I am the most constant person in her life (she's single) and have never let her down before.

She ignored me for a couple of days and then sent a text saying how pissed off she was, people always let her down and its a difficult thing to forget and she doesn't want to talk about it.

Apart from giving her space, is there anything I can do to fix this? I feel sad to loose my friend over a stupid mistake.

Sadly she can be known to use silence as a form of punishment and has definitely tried to make me feel as guilty as possible. Obviously I can take that on the chin, it is my fault, but I have a horrible feeling she will continue to bring this up long term.

Thank you

OP posts:
Megifer · 23/02/2026 20:12

Im glad for you that shes replied but honestly op I hope you dont take too much shit over this. You do sound like a very good friend 😊

echt · 23/02/2026 20:12

Wynter25 · 23/02/2026 19:57

Yep its emotional abuse. Not nice to go through

Edited
Show quote history

Oh grow up.

The silent treatment is when the abuser is in the same house and as the abused and deliberately doesn't speak to them.

This is not that.

Original poster
MamaBee22 · 23/02/2026 20:08

TheZanyScroller · 23/02/2026 20:04

So, as a responsible parent prioritizing their child. It is inevitable, other people will get let down. To promise a friend something so important and then letting her down when doing what she shoild be doing anyway has added more stress to her friend no doubt. People shouldn't make promises they can't keep. If you read the title of OPs post it literally says she forgot to take her friend tobher hospital appointment. Ger s grip. Stop trying to brainwash me into your madness. My opinion won't change as it's fundamentally correct.

My child wasn't ill at the time of me making the promise! If your going to comment with such a strong opinion, atleast read the updates and full facts before drawing your conclusion! My circumstances changed and had I not forgot, because god forbid I made a mistake, I was still willing to take and collect her with my child! It slipped my mind. Fair enough the 1 time I forgot is one of the worst things I could forget but that's the honest truth. I never intend to make a promise I couldn't keep

OP posts:
shhblackbag · 23/02/2026 20:08

EmilyintheUK · 22/02/2026 15:37

I would be turning up at her door with a big bunch of flowers and apologising profusely.

She has asked for space. If I asked for space and the friend that fucked up turned up with flowers, I'd be even more pissed off. Leave her alone.

Blev2022 · 23/02/2026 20:07

I honestly feel (and hope) some of these comments must be fake! If you had a friend that was always there for you, and genuinely made a mistake and apologised for it would you really never forgive them and forget every other thing they've done for you?

OP, you made a mistake. I can imagine it is annoying for your friend but in the end she got there and no one died. If it were me I'd accept your apology and move on. Life is too short for grudges. I think given there was no harm in the end you shouldn't have to grovel for making a mistake if you're a good friend 99% of the time.

BlimeyOReillyO · 23/02/2026 20:06

TheZanyScroller · 23/02/2026 20:04

So, as a responsible parent prioritizing their child. It is inevitable, other people will get let down. To promise a friend something so important and then letting her down when doing what she shoild be doing anyway has added more stress to her friend no doubt. People shouldn't make promises they can't keep. If you read the title of OPs post it literally says she forgot to take her friend tobher hospital appointment. Ger s grip. Stop trying to brainwash me into your madness. My opinion won't change as it's fundamentally correct.

Wow!

TheZanyScroller · 23/02/2026 20:04

So, as a responsible parent prioritizing their child. It is inevitable, other people will get let down. To promise a friend something so important and then letting her down when doing what she shoild be doing anyway has added more stress to her friend no doubt. People shouldn't make promises they can't keep. If you read the title of OPs post it literally says she forgot to take her friend tobher hospital appointment. Ger s grip. Stop trying to brainwash me into your madness. My opinion won't change as it's fundamentally correct.

Original poster
MamaBee22 · 23/02/2026 20:02

@thezanyscroller not for one minute do I think I'm "little miss perfect" so how dare you judge me. I'm human and I've made a mistake. My child wasn't unwell at the time of me agreeing to help out. For the record, I've been the best friend I could since 12 years old and already feel so sad by this without the shitty response from you. I own my mistake but your judging me on incorrect facts you've drawn a conclusion from. You have no idea the type of friend I have been the 99 plus other times so please don't judge me on 1!

For the lovely people on here who have been kind thank you. Talked it through with DH and feel a bit better. She did respond this evening and I'm going round to talk through. Will let her be open and honest with me about her hurt and take it on the chin. We all have our faults, both me and her, but love each other and probably couldn't imagine life apart after all these years so I'm feeling hopeful I can learn from this and we can move on x

OP posts:
BlimeyOReillyO · 23/02/2026 20:02

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Oh dear 😆😆😆😆

What were the chances of the friend being in here.

TheZanyScroller · 23/02/2026 20:00

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booksunderthebed · 23/02/2026 19:59

I am a very forgetful person and absolutely need reminders.

Having said that when i had a similar procedure i took a bus to the hosptal. It was no worse than more intrusive smear test or iud fitting. (i drove myself to the iud fitting) I guess I am superwoman. Apart from the money for the uber your friend has lost nothing.

If a friend so kindly offered to take me to a hospital appointment I would be reminding her in a timely fashion. (Reminder that you said you would take me to appointment tomorrow! Thanks so much! what time are you picking me up this morning? is 10am good? ) It would be on me to remember - why should she also have the additional load of remembering my appointments?

Not sure this person is your friend, if she is she is acting like this over a very human error.

StillSpartacus · 23/02/2026 19:58

TheZanyScroller · 23/02/2026 19:13

How did you forget something so important. That's unforgivable. I think if you were my friend that would be it for me. You clearly have too much on your plate to make a promise and then drop your friend and blame childcare without even considering her.

It's not like meeting fir s cuppa and last minute childcare causes a problem. That's easy to rearrange as long as you didn't make a habit out of being unreliable.

I would give your friend some space. In future, don't make promises for something so important thst you easily can forget. It's not fair on the other person.

You are entirely correct. A child with a chest infection is nothing like sorting last minute childcare to go and have a cuppa…

Wynter25 · 23/02/2026 19:57

ShawnaMacallister · 22/02/2026 15:38

Really? I think the friend needs to get over it. Silent treatment is shitty.

Show quote history

Yep its emotional abuse. Not nice to go through

FullOfLoveAndObsessiveCleaner · 23/02/2026 19:56

BlimeyOReillyO · 23/02/2026 19:40

I tell you what, learn how to tag people in posts!

So do I remember appointments etc, but am I sure I’ll never fail? No of course I’m not!

Anyway you carry on with your spiteful attack on OP, calling her little miss perfect, it’ll boost your own ego of
perfectness even more.

Show quote history

Totally agree with you. Also @TheZanyScroller must be able to predict child illnesses before they happen and make doctors appointments a day or two before they are actually needed. Go you! More perfection headed your way 😘

Megifer · 23/02/2026 19:52

Theturtlesarefighting · 23/02/2026 19:48

Reading your updates, I would let your friend process her disappointment and upset in her own time/way.
Re coming home on bus or taxi, sometimes the hospital weirdly won’t allow that.

They absolutely do for a colposcopy. The actual procedure is fairly minor.

tumbled · 23/02/2026 19:49

OP I would have thought silly me for asking when you had enough on. A helpful friend is allowed to be forgetful - friendship involves a bit of give and take. I would have more of a problem with her sulking than your forgetting and apologising.

Theturtlesarefighting · 23/02/2026 19:48

Reading your updates, I would let your friend process her disappointment and upset in her own time/way.
Re coming home on bus or taxi, sometimes the hospital weirdly won’t allow that.

Megifer · 23/02/2026 19:48

I really hope Op has left this utterly insane thread now 😂

FullOfLoveAndObsessiveCleaner · 23/02/2026 19:47

Child illnesses aren't planned in advance, like hospital appointments. At the time she committed to take her friend I'm sure her child was not ill. Common sense kind of kicks in here. Or it should.
As OP states this is the first time she has ever let her friend down so I dont know where you are coming from stating that she need to "stop" doing this. It was clearly a one off.
Said friend sounds very entitled and very much a taker of good will. A taxi there would have sufficed with a bit of understanding for a sick child and a concerned mother who had then offered to collect her after the procedure.
Has to be give and take. Not just one sided.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 23/02/2026 19:44

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 22/02/2026 14:33

Just need to give her space and be prepared to loose the friendship over this, not sure how you would of forgotten to be honest. You obviously don’t think she’s very important.

Oh stop it. Of course busy people forget things sometimes.

BlimeyOReillyO · 23/02/2026 19:43

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😆😆😆😆😆

Of course if you say I am, I simply must be!

Your posting barely legible posts, I presume due to your rage.

Chill!

TryingMyBestEveryDay · 23/02/2026 19:43

MamaBee22 · 22/02/2026 14:46

Sorry forgot to add she did get to appointment on time, and it did go well which I'm pleased about. I did offer to collect her and bring her home but rightly so she didn't want that/didn't reply.

I was going to have to take my kids with me to drop her off and pick her back up, which isn't the issue.

Again, no deflection because she shouldn't have to but normally if we have plans we'd text each other on the morning or if one is running late for a lift, we'd ring the other to see where they are. If she'd done that, then of course I'd of remembered and took her.
Completely understand ringing or reminding me isn't her responsibility, but I think she's finding it hard to accept that I just forgot, no excuse or other reason. I would never purposely forgot to take her to something like this

I disagree, I think there is some responsibility on her part. She should have called or messaged in the morning to confirm, see you at x o’clock especially as you usually do that. The silent treatment would pee me off, she made the appointment, you accidentally forgot, there’s no need for her to ignore you.

InsectsMatter · 23/02/2026 19:42

She sounds pretty moody.
maybe this is why she has so little support in her life.
you apologised, you have kids and commitments, is she always so high maintenance.
i had this procedure once; got myself there and back on my own. It’s not open heart surgery.

TheZanyScroller · 23/02/2026 19:42

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BlimeyOReillyO · 23/02/2026 19:41

LittleMissH13 · 23/02/2026 19:36

I rarely ever comment on here but felt compelled to on your post. You sound so genuinely remorseful for what happened and as annoying/inconvenient it was for your friend, life happens & sometimes mistakes happen. It sounds like you already had your hands full and committed to this before you knew how your week would unfold. While I understand your friends annoyance, I find it immature to give you the silent treatment. I get that she’s probably fuming and maybe doesn’t have anything nice to respond with right now, but you sound so sad. Just give her time and if your friendship is strong it’ll ride the wave. Maybe take her some flowers to say sorry in person….here’s some for you too 💐

100% this!

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