Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

Sometimes the silent treatment is the silent treatment; sometimes it just doesn't make sense to talk to someone if they've done something that has upset you or caused you problems because of the pressure to say anything other than "yeah, you did treat me like shit, didn't you?"

See I think it was on the friend to remind. It’s her appointment.
I wouldn’t even be confident meeting someone for lunch without having a confirmation the previous evening/same day morning.

I know right.
The malice is dizzying!

Pretty big thing for you to forget, she’s right to be annoyed. You let her down big time.

But I do HATE the silent treatment, just talk about the issue like an adult. If she doesn’t want to be friends anymore fair enough, but she can tell you that instead of radio silence. It’s childish in my view.

Also, not right of her to say to you that people always let her down. What other people have done isn’t your fault and that’s just a guilt trip and has no relevance to you.

But yeah, you did mess up big time here.

Can’t be bothered with people who hold grudges. Leave her to it.

Just because it was a mistake, doesn’t mean she has to forgive and forget right away. You let her down when she needed you, and she’s rightly hurt and angry.

And stop making excuses OP - it was on you to remember, not blame her lack of text in the morning for you forgetting. Own your mistake rather than blaming others and looking for excuses.

Omg you made a mistake. I know it wasn't ideal but we all drop the ball every now and again.

@MamaBee22 Glad you are going to meet up - but out of curiosity - has she asked how your child is doing?

You’d be happy to lose a friend over this?

OP I hope meeting her goes well. If not, you're human and made a mistake. You've done all you can. In future maybe look at Google calendar, especially for appointments. Lack of sleep when a child has breathing issues can affect your memory when you're in a sort of fog the next day. Hope your poorly child is on the mend now.

Out of curiosity where were your friend's children during this appointment?

Everyone has a calendar on their phone. And it will alert you to appointments. Piss poor to do this No excuse

If I arrange to do a similar favour for someone I ask them to send me a reminder the night before or even the morning of the appointment. I have a head like a sieve and they can’t expect you to remember if you have a lot on your plate . I wouldn’t continue to feel guilty . You are human and she could have sent you a reminder.

Your friend is being unreasonable if this is the first time you forgot about promised lift or plans. She sounds petulant, although on the other hand it might be due to stress related to her health issues?
Cut some slack for yourself, I forget many things if my DC is unwell.

I feel like your mistake was agreeing to still do it once you knew you were going to be responsible for the kids at half term. I know you didn’t want to let her down but as soon as you were sole adult in charge the kids then they always needed to be your priority and it wasn’t really sensible to try and accommodate your friend as well. I totally get how you’ve managed to forget. Even with things in your calendar it’s easy to lose track of what you are doing when off with kids and something goes wrong (like your child being ill).

I think you were lovely to offer to help during half term. We all make mistakes and I have had kids with bad chest infections and it can be scary.

In all honesty. If I was your pal I wouldn't have asked you particularly with half term. It is hard enough to juggle so as she has family I think she needs to assess her own judgement.

Hope your little one is ok

She sounds immature. I would never expect so much practical support. I'd just get a taxi. I'm an orphan and almost got a taxi to hospital when giving birth to my daughter as my husband was late back from biz trip. That much expectation is a recipe for disappointment and bad feeling - she isn't your child.

Your friends disappeared because they didn’t want to help anymore, OP genuinely forgot.

A colposcopy is absolutely not always done because there is a suspicion of pre-cancerous cells. Op said it wasn't due to a cancer scare too.

They arent always painful either. Mine weren't at all painful. I had LLETZ at least twice.

You made a mistake, you apologised. Give your friend some time. If she doesn't get over it that's on her - but id leave her for a week or 2.

I would be pissed off. A colposcopy following a smear is because they've found precancerous cells. It is Hella painful too. I've had it twice and been out of my mind with worry as they told me they cannot fully classify the cells or rule out cancer until you've had the colposcopy/loop treatment performed to remove all the cells.

Give her time. She will need to process the procedure as well as being let down by her oldest friend. I'd be even more pissed off if you wouldn't leave me alone afterwards when I just wanted some space.

I had a couple of instances of a close relative and so called long standing friends letting me down despite big promises

Once when l'd had an old fashioned radical hysterectomy years ago. No keyhole surgery then.Felt as though l had been cut in half.

Really struggled after the operation as a live by myself.
After a couple of weeks visits, phone calls from a relative and several friends disappeared

Second when an old boyfriend died in very tragic circumstances who was the love of my life. Close friends were sympathetic at first. But after a couple of months they were not interested and thought l should be over it.

Taught me in that times of needs you find out who your real friends are.

If l were your friend l don't think l would want your friendship. You let her down big time. End of.

Let her sulk I say. Sounds like you’ve done hundreds of things for her and she won’t give you grace this one time.

She said she didn't want to talk about it further and you've sent her follow up messages.

What you are interpreting as silent treatment could be your friend taking time to process things so she doesn't blurt something out in anger, especially if she also wants to maintain the friendship or is undecided about whether you're in a good place to resume a friendship.

Give her some space. If she doesn't come back then a friendship with someone who can't forgive human error isn't something you'd want to resume anyway and if she does come back to you she would be grateful for you respecting her boundaries.

Haven't rtft

But my question is, what does this friend do for you?

It sounds like you have been a great support to her aside from this but is it reciprocated?

It sounds like a potentially unhealthy dynamic.

Secondly I would always text the day before / day of to check plans were still in place for something like this where I've asked a favour. I'm surprised she didn't.

It was an honest mistake op. You’ve apologised and she still got to the appointment on time, if she wants to be childish and give you the cold shoulder then let her, don’t keep grovelling. But next time put it in your calendar and set a reminder.