Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

I can’t drive and sometimes people are kind enough to offer me lifts. If one of them offered and then forgot I cannot imagine giving them the “silent treatment” and telling them I needed space.

Because I am an adult who has made my fair share of mistakes - so I don’t expect perfection from my friends. “Unforgivable” is a very melodramatic word to use - there are a few things in life that are unforgivable but that isn’t one of them.

I couldn’t imagine holding a grudge over something that wasn’t deliberate when the person has apologised profusely - that seems like hard work. It makes me wonder if some people enjoy these dramatics.

When the child is asthmatic it IS an emergency!! It can turn life threatening very quickly and the friends procedure was very minor and not life threatening!

Don’t beat yourself up about it because your daughter was ill and the procedure date had changed/was in half term. I’ve been to so many procedures on my own with no friend so not everyone is as lucky as your friend if you forgot the once. I’m sorry but If she can’t forgive or forget, I wouldn’t keep apologising.

She hasn't given you the silent treatment, OP. She told you she needed space.

I expect she is really hurt. Hopefully she will be able to accept that you do love and value her and think about her and all those things that forgetting your arrangement has called into question.

Everyone fucks up from time to time. If you've been a good friend over the years, I expect she'll get over it.

It’s not like you forgot to meet her for coffee. This was unforgivable OP. No wonder she’s hurt.

That's a really extreme reaction!!

Yes I'd be irritated... But she made her appt and ALSO she failed to prompt OP the night before /first thing in morning.

If it was that important, I'd always send a reminder text.

I wouldn't dump an otherwise good pal for this. I'd be annoyed but forgiving and also take a share of accountability.

I'm so sorry to hear your friend's giving you the silent treatment at the moment 🫂
Please forgive yourself & remember, most importantly, you were taking good care of 7.8 Darling Child, 1st & foremost, as any Loving Parent would & does 💚
It would be a completely different story, if you just decided to go out partying & living it up instead 😥
Of course you're not only permitted to, but should prioritise Your Child/ren
You've apologised sincerely & if she has any Children herself I'm sure she will understand -
If she doesn't, maybe if she continues to try to hold grudges, ask her to kindly try to at least, put herself in your shoes for a moment 🙏
You didn't choose to let her down, you lovingly put your Child 1st -
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best
💚🫂💚

I don’t feel like you’re actually sorry for forgetting. Your posts keep saying I’m not making excuses but….. (insert woeful excuse). The reality is you were being a shit friend and you messed up. There is no excuse and it isn’t your friends fault as on occasion you’ve posted about how she should have reminded you etc. etc. If a friend of mine did this to me I’d also go low contact while I assessed the friendship.

I hope when you’ve been apologising to her you haven’t been saying I’m sorry…. But.

I don’t know how you can make it up to her, but I’d probably start by asking her.

Yes... But equally OP {mention:MamaBee22}kid@MamaBee22kid was suddenly ill.

Why wasn't the patient texting op the night before to double check??

You need to give her space/leave her alone. I cannot understand how you could forget such an important appointment for a close friend! You must not think much of her. Personally I wouldn't forgive you. I think you have to accept that you've possibly lost an old friend. She will feel totally let down, worthless and very sad.

OP you are getting a hard time, but I sympathize. Recently I've dropped the ball on some things I never usually would, because I'm very stressed with work, DC and other issues, plus I think perimenopause brain is kicking in. When your DC is ill things really can go out of your mind.

Oh dear.... you really messed up.... but very understandable.
You certainly didn't mean to and you feel mortified for forgetting her...
I've done the same.... it's awful... the thing may be really important to you but it just disappears from your mind!!
Nothing you can do but apologise and take it from there.
Your friend should also realise that you're only human and would never do anything so intentional.
Good luck with your friendship going forward. 🤞
And try not to worry that you're losing your marbles, it may never happen again.

If you haven’t told her you need to tell your friend you were distracted by your child being ill. It’s not an excuse, just fact.

Obviously you did fuck up, but there were understandable reasons why you did. As a fellow mother of an asthmatic DD, it’s very stressful and can make you drop everything else.

i think if you are usually a good friend, and considering she did manage to get to her appointment, then it’s not the end of the world and she’d be cutting off her own nose to spite her face if she dropped you for good.

youve apologised, what else can you do? You can’t change the past. Either she moves on or she doesn’t, but don’t let her hold it over you forever. You should judge people by their ongoing actions and forgive an occasional mistake. It’s better for both of you if she can do that. Those other people who have let her down are not your responsibility.

You saying she did wrong makes it sound like she dissed her friend on purpose. It wasn’t a deliberate act , she forgot , and an apology with an explanation that her kid was unwell should be sufficient . “The biggest bunch of flowers “ & calling her “ such a disappointing friend “ is just beyond ridiculous .

Because she didn't put in in the calendar to notify her. Even if a kid has a chest infection it's not that much of an emergency that you don't have time to send a text.

She forgot because her child was ill with a chest infection. It was very unfortunate, but does not make her a villain.

She should have reminded you by text.

Why did she need a lift anyway? Do you live somewhere rural with no taxis? It's a straight forward procedure and doesn't require someone to be with you when you leave.

I've had 2 colonoscopies. I wasn't accompanied for either of them and as I didn't have sedation didn't need to be accompanied when I left.

You made an accidental mistake but what she’s doing is on purpose so much worse

However, a message wouldn’t have gone amiss had it been about prioritising . She didn’t prioritise, she forgot.

You must know some flakey people. Mind you it seems to be getting commonplace.

I think you posted more in the hope that people would think your friend is being unreasonable for not forgiving you tbh. You did wrong, own it rather than mentioning u would have to take the kids or that she could have reminded you on the day or that she’s got previous for silence. You agreed to take her, you didn’t, you are totally in the wrong. Try a card of apology ( without excuses) and the biggest bunch of flowers you can find. She will then decide if she wants such a disappointing friend in her life.

You prioritised getting your sick child a doctor's appointment over saving a friend a taxi journey to hospital. Okay, I know its not that simple, but your priority must always be your child.

This. Your asthmatic child with a chest infection was your priority. That’s very tough for your friend who is rightly annoyed and possibly scared enough not to be thinking straight, but as soon as she knew about your child she should have made sure you and your child were OK.

Don’t grovel tomorrow OP. Apologise, but don’t accept responsibility for your friend’s lack of empathy or understanding of your error. That’s on her.