Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

Yes. As do married people!

Your last paragraph is what OP did.

Friend made the appointment. It went fine according to OP.

You seem to have your own issues which you’ve projected onto this situation. If OP didn’t think her friend was a “worthwhile human” (oh my, melodramatic, much?) she wouldn’t have offered in the first place.

Being single isn’t a disability and people in relationships also attend hospital appointments on their own all the time.

Hahaha oh boy I needed that laugh.

@Bbq1not a colonoscopy. No prep. Colposcopy. Friend made the appointment on time. On such a long thread as this, maybe try reading OP updates first.

Once again for those at the back, it was a Colposcopy NOT a colonoscopy.
No prep, no pooing for hours the night before.
OP has confirmed the correct name.

Yes this! If my friend offered to give me a lift and then the date changed and she was going to have to bring her kids I would have said “It’s really kind of you but not fair to the kids - I’ll get an Uber.”

Great way to end a friendship. If a friend spoke to me like that, I’d realise they were either very rude or disliked me and cut things off either way.

And this is coming from someone who has made their own way to all recent hospital appointments myself and doesn’t ask anyone for a lift for anything . Last time someone ever took me to a hospital appointment was 2016 and it was my brother who I lived with.

If you can’t take your friend somewhere fine, but no need to be snarky and send her a bus timetable or the “number” for uber . I’m sure she is capable of finding alternative transport herself either from public transport/taxi or from another friend if she knows beforehand.

All you need to do is decline in advance, say “ sorry I can’t do it”. Simple.

The issue is OP agreed to do it and her friend was then relying on her. She then totally forgot which probably lead to a last minute scramble and additional stress for her friend in finding some other way to get there .

It was a mistake and she’s apologised and I’m sure will smooth things over when she goes over, so I’m not getting at the OP - but your suggestion for how to treat a friend asking for help is uncalled for.

This is spot on. Saying their kids are a priority is just stating the obvious. No one is saying otherwise but it’s the fact she didn’t remember.

Would probably have been different for her friend had Op remembered and called friend to apologise and say she couldn’t take her there but offered to still pick her up.

I wonder why people bother to reply when they, obviously, haven’t read all the posts and ask questions which have been answered !!

I can understand. It’s happened to me a couple of times with important people in my life but in those cases it was a meal/coffee. I had no idea how I forgot. Had remembered it daily and then on the day nothing. It kind of ended both those relationships though, neither said that was why they just disappeared and refused to be roused for any future contact. It still bewilders me as it was the last thing I would do and was looking forward to both. And I feel both think I did it in purpose unable to believe I would forget. They are both very meticulous men and till then important allies. So I believe you and feel your inner fury.
I’ve had a colposcopy and it was awful they fry the neck of the cervix with hot wires, can get the laser version which I think is easier but I remember the male technician saying it was like frying an egg all the cells go from transparent to white. Stupid man saying that. I don’t remember going with anyone but was looked after by girl friend after because I needed some mothering that partner couldn’t give. So a bit if mothering. Make her some chicken soup do something that shows you really care.

I bet there would be such a different response on this thread if the friend had been OP’s MIL

OP apologised and offered to collect the friend which the friend ignored. Since the change of plan, she was only dropping her off anyway, not staying with her, due to having the children with her, so she wouldn’t have been holding her hand during the procedure.

Depends I suppose, on the need for steroids or emergency care. It’s best not to block A&E if possible and OP could get a doctors appointment. I’d assume that if OP had not managed to get a doctor’s appointment and steroids, then A&E would’ve been required.

I’m sure OP knows the best options for her asthmatic child.

So if your DD was THAT ill would you be seeing a GP rather than the hospital?

The "aw hun you did nothing wrong" posts in this thread are far worse than what the OP actually did.

Has anyone said that? Or have people said yes you made a mistake but you tried to make up for it and you said sorry, plus you did have a sick child.

I’m an adult and I send reminders! Always check the day before that people are still
ok for coffee etc.

If this was my friend and she was acting this way, I’d certainly let her go if she wanted to take a step back.

OP has previously done loads. She fucked up once. Let the friends family and other friends that normally let her down, step up.

No good deed goes unpunished, does it!

What an unpleasant comment! Everyone can forget things (even important things!) sometimes😡

I am guessing the stress for her friend was when OP didn't arrive on time her friend might have waited a bit longer just incase she was a few mins late and then text her. Waited for text back and then rushed to book cab when it was confirmed she was not coming. She was likely worried she would miss her appointment which appears to be to check she doesn't have cancer. If she was doing it through NHS should would have another wait time before she could reschedule.
Where we live cabs are not that easy to get quickly.
I am sure all of us would be upset in this situation?

Damn. I misread that as colonoscopy. Thank you for pointing that out and apologies to OP.

The "aw hun you did nothing wrong" posts in this thread are far worse than what the OP actually did. Give or take a bit of deflection the OP at least fundamentally accepts that she fucked up and she shouldn't have forgotten - a lot of posters seem to think that it's completely OK to blow off a prior commitment and OP shouldn't need to apologise, and the friend has no right to even feel upset.

I don't get the "your family is your priority" comments. If OP's child was so sick that she needed to prioritise that, and messaged her friend accordingly in good time, that's a different situation and obviously more acceptable. Neither is it relevant that the friend could have got a taxi - I'm sure she would have, if OP hadn't offered to drive. The point is that if you think you've got your transport sorted then of course you're not going to get a taxi. And by the time she realised OP wasn't just late but not coming at all, she'd have been running way behind schedule.

And adults don't usually send reminders to each other the night before or the morning of something. How patronising would that be.

There really isn't any getting around the fact that forgetting your friend's hospital appointment is a big deal, it's tremendously poor form and the friend is quite naturally taking a step back from the friendship and maybe rethinking it completely, depending on whether this is a pattern or not.

It’s a colposcopy, this was explained hours and hours ago! Just read the updates before you jump
in about how horrible the procedure is and how upset you’d be!

At least get the facts correct!

Do you have anaesthesia for a colposcopy? I seriously doubt it.

Also she will have to take specific medication to clear her bowel completely and they are not pleasant neither are the affect! All that and the thought of what is an unpleasant procedure to then not get the transport you were promised so possibly missed the appointment would really upset me too and im not easily upset. I had one fairly recently and was told to arrive 15 mins before no earlier so timing for these things can be tight. Hopefully she will forgive you but to her if would make me question the friendship as its not like it was a missed coffee date!

Even if you have remembered your situation would not have allowed you to go? But probably would have saved her some stress if she had an earlier heads up.

how did she get there in the end?

and also - how do you normally diarise things? Maybe a calendar reminder on your phone for this sort of thing might help?