Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

OP says she's giving her the silent treatment. But that's just her opinion.

The half term holidays are only a week long, so this is all very recent and fresh. The friend didn't reply for a few days, and then said she didn't want to talk about it. 🤷‍♀️ It's not exactly unusual to go a few days without messaging a friend.

It was a colposcopy she has clarified

You forgot. Why didnt she messaged you on the day to remind you?
She got there in time. You apologised. No need for her to still be in a strop . She's behaving like a child

Forgetting something like that is unforgivable and a good friend would never let someone down like that. It’s not surprising that she’s really pissed off with you. At the very least do as others have suggested and get her a lovely bouquet of flowers and a hand written card apologising for letting her down so badly.

You clearly didn’t do it deliberately. She’ll come to her senses and realise that; just give her time. If she doesn’t, and continues to try and punish (?!) you, then I really don’t think she’s worth worrying over. How childish, sending you to Coventry!

If it was (as I think) a colonoscopy, and they found something nasty, she could potentially be told then and there that she likely had cancer. As well as feeling ill from the preparation, she will have been feeling distressed and nervous- plus the procedure itself can be painful and upsetting.

It was a really bad thing to forget her OP, really difficult to understand, and shows a fundamental lack of interest in her - combined with the doubling down and apparent determination to somehow blame her for feeling devastated by this.

In all honesty the message this will have sent to your friend about how little you really care for her is such a loud one, so contemptuous of her well-being, that if I were her I would struggle to want to see you again.

I think you need to do some hard thinking about what sort of friend you are, whether you are able to engage sincerely in friendships, and whether you actually want this friendship in any meaningful sense. Because this wasn’t so much a mild signal of a problem as a blaring klaxon.

I agree

For me ultimately responsibility ends with your friend .
Id of text in the morning and said hey are you still able to take me etc .
If be aware it was my appointment and understand that it's my responsibility to ensure anyone assisting me had remembered and would be reminding ppl and confirming 25hhrs before hand .

You only get referred for a colposcopy if you have had a high risk HPV pcr test or abnormal cytology. They do not do it for giggles. Your friend must have been worried.
The more you say things like
"t swept up in poorly kids, needing to take my DC to the doctors and solo parenting in half term"
and
"not on the 2 week pathway " the worse you come over

When you say sorry but....or its not a deflection but....that's exactly what it is. It's minimizing what you did.
You need to give her time and space.

Surely, the reason you'd have it in that context is because you'd had an abnormal smear result? So the worry is cancer, isn't it?

Would you want someone you were furious with at your door armed with flowers and apologies? And then have to feel like the ‘bad guy’ if you don’t welcome them in? Send flowers by all means, but don’t just turn up with them. I’d hate being put on the spot like that!

Forgetting is saying she wasn't important enough to remember.

Really? I think the friend needs to get over it. Silent treatment is shitty.

@MamaBee22
You messed up and you know that.

she needs to understand how sorry you feel because you have majorly let her down.

Send her flowers with a heart felt apology. Think carefully about kind words in your card.

She does feel guilty but honestly for how long should she? It was an honest mistake and the friend could have got a taxi. I think this is excessive self flagellation.

I would be turning up at her door with a big bunch of flowers and apologising profusely.

Hang on
I've had a colposcopy. It wasn't nice but I didn't need anyone with me and I got a taxi there and back. She could have done that once it became clear you couldn't actually do what you had initially offered to do. Dragging your kids to and from hospital twice to save her getting a taxi is mad. I get that you did say you'd do it and you forgot which is upsetting for her when she was expecting you but taxis exist.

But OP should feel guilty! It was totally her fault!

I think you’re getting off lightly with the silent treatment.

I understand that this was a genuine mistake, OP, but this is pretty bad.

A good friend of mine very kindly agreed to drive me to a hospital appointment a few months ago. I was so anxious about it and so grateful that she had offered to help. Had she forgotten, it would have felt like such a slap in the face - like she just didn't give a shit about what was going on for me. It isn't at all the same as forgetting to give her a lift to the train station or something similar.

She probably isn't trying to punish you, she is probably just really hurt to find that something significant to her matters so little to you.

I think in your situation, I would send her a massive bouquet of flowers with a card saying that you can't believe how badly you fucked up, and that you hope she won't take it as a sign that you don't care, because that really isn't the case.

So a treatment for cancerous/ pre-cancerous abnormal cells and you "forgot"
You are not a good friend

How does taking someone to a hospital appointment just 'slip your mind'? That would have been the thing you knew you were doing on that day, regardless of whatever else occurred.
Not surprised she's pissed off tbh. I think it's unlikely she'll ask you to help again, so the friendship will have definitely soured on her side