Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

She definitely doesn’t deserve a bouquet.

I think some people are being judgemental, it can easily happen. I would suggest putting it on your phone calendar going forward. But don't worry too much, send a bunch of flowers, you apologised already. You know you won't do it again. Sometimes things get in the way especially if you were dealing with a sick child too.

That procedure without sedation means she didn’t need anyone with her.
As you had a sick child then that should have been the end of the matter.

Oh dear, from the outside it really does sound like a toxic relationship. I wonder what happened in your childhood or other relationships to make you accept this type of "friend" where she enjoys holding power over you and punishing you. It sounds like she doesn't like you, maybe she's jealous, maybe she thinks you don't deserve the things you have. If you're thinking I'm completely wrong, ask yourself, what would it take for you to say the words to her that she uses to you? To give her the silent treatment? No "oh, but you don't understand the stuff she's dealing with..." answers. What would she have to do to make you do this to her? And how would you feel when you realise your children have picked up on the years of watching this dynamic, and get into this role themselves in their friendships?

I would concur!

You’ve done your bit OP, leave her to contact you next.

Or she’s only happy when she’s miserable.

Yes... Similar image I had..
It almost feels she was willing the OP to fail /stuff up...

I get the impression she has one of those sucking on a lemon faces.

It seems she didn't actually need you there at all but would have simply preferred it. She doesn't sound very gracious making unpleasant remarks to someone who had a health emergency with their child. Obviously the child did need you there and couldn't have coped on their own so a very different situation. I would definitely keep her at more of a distance now.

Me too. My life is full of alarms/reminders. If I don’t make an alarm for my bath it is likely to start coming through the ceiling. I have alarms/reminders for everything and a hand written note for extra important things on top of the phone reminder. I can be a bit away with the fairies sometimes (in that I’m always having conversations in my head about something or nothing), so these have become a must.

But she offered to pick her up... And apologised...

And the person took zero responsibility for prompting her... During half term...where stuff is more novel...after the appt was changed....

If you're wanting someone to do someone a massive favour it's on you to prompt the night before /the morning of appt....

I wouldn't just expect someone to remember this....

I do think this is partly on her as she could have reminded you the night before or on the day. But…. You also do not sound sorry.

What are you talking about? She had a sick child that takes preventative. It’s easy to forget. You clearly have the same attitude as the imbecile who thinks the world should revolve around her. She still got to the appointment on time. Op offered to pick her up and was ignored. And personally if someone was doing me a favour I’d of either called or message that morning to make sure she was still okay to take me. She gotta take some responsibility for herself.

This is exactly me.... One particular day recently there were numerous novel events occurring (nothing exciting all to do with elderly dad and medical appts) as well as econsults i needed to do (they can only be done at specific times of day at our surgery) and also stuff I had to do following this... Following up appts /pharmacy visits...

I had 15 novel alarms that went off... With repeater alarms...

I didn't drop the ball. BUT my guess I'd have forgotten lots without..

I'm especially likely to forget stuff if there is something urgent like family member being ill!

Peoppe are human.

I think now we know the friend was having a colposcopy, it needs to made clear where she was having sedation or not.
If she was not having sedation, she didn’t need anyone with her anyway.
If she was having sedation then she didn’t need someone with her.
It is an important test and no doubt the friend was worried.
However, it’s important to know whether she wanted OP there as a friend or as someone who was assisting her to get home safely after being sedated.

Learn from this OP, stop over committing particularly to someone you already do too much for, who hasn't the cop on to send a confirmation text tge night before and the morning.

Me and my friends do it because we respect each other, appreciate we have busy lives and things can slip a persons mind.

She's a spoiled woman who needs to be stepped away from.
Let her find someone else to use and tantrum at.

Agreed. Which is probably why the OP is the only one whose stuck around the friend as OP said.

if a mistake warrants silent treatment and such unforgiveness, the OP is better off without the friend.

This so called friend of the OP, who I’m assuming has a working phone and can call her friend, an uber etc. was expecting OP to drag her sick child around.

I suspect OP is a people pleaser and over committed here. I’m glad for the OP if this friend gets all huffy. OP needs kinder friends who’d say ‘love, don’t worry, your child is sick, I’ll make alternative arrangements’…

I voted YANBU because the first thing on my mind was - did she remind you the evening before (if it was a morning appt), or in the morning on the day. Clearly not.
And in my book this was her responsibility. It is just a thoughtful thing to do considering your friend is offering to be your chaperone at a medical appointment at the time when their kids are home, no childcare available and husband working (which she would know if you are as close as you say).
Her question - have you forgotten - sent at the time when it was clearly too late is completely useless - clearly you have forgotten or you are dead or kidnapped.
Who organises something like this without nudging the person (who is doing her a favour) on the day to make sure all is good.
Who risks missing a colonoscopy appt by just awaiting for a busy person (you spoke about this days ago) to arrive or not arrive on the day.
I mean, surely you've gone out together before - being close friends and all... didn't you use to have the last minute texts - are you looking forward to doing xy, when are you planning to leave house, are you on your way, etc...In this case these would be: are you packed, are you worried, just to confirm - pick me up at 3, still ok?
I mean, surely lack of any communication on the topic the day before or on the day was a clear indicator that the pick up is not happening...

I think your friend is a bit spoilt and entitled tbh, you are not her mother. You also offered to be on your way and pick her up (having a sick child at home!!!) and she ignored you? I think you should start ignoring her for a change.

Because someone else asked was she taking the kids!🙄

OP had a medical emergency with her child so it shouldn't be hard to understand how it happened. The friend got to hospital ok and she is just sulking. It would be a different scenario maybe if the OP had just forgotten and been watching TV when she was meant to collect her friend.

But the friend has done nothing that is acting like "a spoilt brat".
Expecting someone to show up (or message of an emergency has arisen) when they've arranged to, and having double checked a few days earlier, is not spoilt brat behaviour, it's expecting basic courtesy from another person.

Indeed. There's a lot of anti-single woman froth on this thread.

Going against the grain here, but I can't believe how harsh - and self-righteous - everyone is being!! These things happen: it was the first time in 20 years, the OP offered to come and fetch her after the appointment, and she is worried about losing the friendship. She didn't come on here to be lectured - and made to feel even worse - by the holier-than-thou brigade. How happy you must all be in Smugsville, where everyone is perfect and no-one forgets anything!!

I'm really angry at you saying rightly so, her refusing to get a lift home with you. She was behaving pathetically towards you. It seems to me, rather than calling you and saying where are you, she deliberately left it so she had an excuse to be angry at you. You made a genuine mistake, because you had a lot going on, yet you still offered to give her a lift home and she threw a strop and ignored you. This is a grown adult behaving like a 5 year old.

Think back and be honest with yourself, how often has she been unreasonably angry at you for little inconsequential things? She seems like an absolute attention seeking, drama queen that wants you to keep begging her for forgiveness until she feels you've suffered enough, or more likely, until she needs something else.

I understand her being on her own but she's not all your responsibility and she clearly managed fine without you, so if I was you, I'd start pulling back if she keeps treating you like this.

What is fascinating about this thread is posters who believe the friend shouldn't rely on friends, yet characterise her as punishing the OP by not replying to a text.

There was a thread a while back where posters also believed people shouldn't rely on friends, yet that included not expecting timely replies to messages.

I mean, fair enough if you think people should be disconnected and only care about their little family (if lucky enough to have one) - but you can't also expect others to be jumping to reply and generally interacting with you a lot!