Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

No problem. Thank you.

It depends on what they find/appear to find, and try to remove - it can become quite painful and invasive.

I think you're getting a hard time. You seem genuinely regretful, you're usually a very supportive friend and you've reached out to her to try to put it right. I don't see what else you're supposed to do - we're all human and fuck up sometimes. A true friendship should be able to recover from this - especially as there was no lasting damage by the sounds of it.

I'd give her some space - send a nice card and flowers saying this oversight is not a reflection on how you value the relationship if you think it will help but self-flagellation shouldn't be necessary in this scenario.

This is probably why you are the only constant in her life. Your responsibility was to your child, it was an accident that you let her down. You sound busy and overloaded.

You have apologised, there is nothing more you can do, but if she's not very careful she will have even fewer constants in her life. I don't know why you're getting such a hard time.

Pretty much everything can be painted as “potentially life changing”. In actual fact it was a routine referral and everything was fine as are the vast vast majority of others referred for this procedure. Nobody likes investigations but sometimes we just have to get on with it especially when those around us are dealing with other responsibilities (like poorly children!)

Well, I wouldn't expect that either. I'm entirely capable of understanding that people have their own lives and their own priorities.

But the OP said she would still do it, so the fact of it being half term/her DH not being around etc is surely irrelevant? Once you have committed to doing something, don't you feel any obligation to see that commitment through?

Tbh, this thread is making me feel very grateful for my friends. I'm really surprised at how many people seem to think that forgetting to take someone to a hospital appointment is no big deal.

But the friend didn't expect it. The OP offered. Then with a few days to go the friend checked again if the OP was still sure about taking her, and OP said it was no problem.

.
i forgot I was meeting a friend from overseas at a tube stop and taking her with a group of friends to a restaurant. No mobiles back then. God that was awful. She was waiting for ages at a random place not knowing the area and I just never turned up.
I wouldn’t blame you as such as these things happen but I would begin to question how much of a priority I was. Just give her some slack and she’ll get over it. I hope your apology to her was big and not a ‘so sorry but let me know how it went’…

The date was changed to half-term. OP's husband wasn't about and her child with pre-existing health issue got a chest infection.

Yes - I would be disappointed - but at the same time I wouldn't expect a friend to to pick me up AND drop me back home with their DC in tow.

I had a colposcopy and was sedated for it. It’s not always a minor procedure, and I was told I needed to have someone escort me home afterwards. Just for info.

Out of interest (and sorry if I've missed this earlier in the thread), do you have adhd? Because I do, and this is the kind of thing I do!

Apologies - I thought it was a standard procedure and the same for everyone.

To be fair, it’s only been a few days. So I think it’s a bit premature to say she’s punishing you with silent treatment.

She obviously messaged you either on the day or soon after, else you wouldn’t have known that the procedure went well with a positive outcome.

you’ve apologies ( a few times?). I’d suggest you leave it at that.

you obviously feel bad about letting her down. As you should. But I’m sensing your need to feel needed and a to be martyr for her. It’s an unhealthy dynamic you’ve got going on between you.

I hope your DC is feeling stronger and at you and your friend get back into the swing of enjoying each others company.

Just to make extra sure I put a large note with black felt tip on my kitchen table telling me what I need to do. So I can’t miss seeing Take friend to hospital on Tuesday (date). It’s a very helpful failsafe for me for the things I mustn't forget.

You have ruled out ever finding time to take your friends to and from a potentially life changing appointment? Wow. It is perfectly possible if you are normal human being with a heart.

That's not exactly true.

Ive had to have sedation down in the operating theatre with a colposcopy.

Depends on many things. So don't be so small minded and think your small experience is everyone's.

To be fair, I regularly miss reminders on my phone. It isn't an effective way for me to keep track of things.

But I still wouldn't forget an important favour for a friend who I knew was relying on me.

You were distracted by something else, it happens. There's nothing you can do about it now, so if she wants to hold a grudge it's up to her, but it's a bit silly even though she's understandably annoyed. Did she make contact with you on the day or the day before to arrange times etc? Because I always do that whatever.
A friend asked me to check in on her young teenager once when he was ill at home and make him lunch - I completely forgot and didn't remember until hours later. I've forgotten to go to my own hospital appointment, and my own opticians appointments, though it was in the days before they started sending text reminders. So I can easily see how you would forget.

How can you forget if it's in your phone calendar? It literally sounds an alarm to alert you.

God forbid a friend should ‘heavily’ rely on a friend to take her to and from a hospital appt she already agreed to do.

I would imagine the quality of your friendship isn’t really worth valuing anyway.

Stop with the texting and the 'I don't know what else I can do'. Do what people do who screw up and who are sorry - buy a card, write a message of apology (not excuse) and post it. Not a low effort text. Or send apology flowers. 'Reaching out' - yeah, but time to move beyond text

Oh wow. I was already thinking what you did was bad but you clearly don't get it if you're trying to put some of the blame on to her. Saying 'not deflecting' but then deflecting doesn't really work. That was a really shitty thing to do. No excuses.

How is it different if it's a husband, a friend or even a taxi driver who forgot to pick you up for a hospital appointment? Its the fact that someone agreed to help you and then just simply didnt turn up. What if you were being collected from hospital by a friend to take you home after an operation and they didn't turn up because they forgot and you were stuck at hospital? Would you just shrug your shoulders and say, ah well, people forget stuff. Or would you be understandbly upset? It's no different.

I would leave some flowers & chocolates outside her door & message again apologising. I think you said you didn’t mention your child being ill etc, but I think I would write that in the text apologising as well.
Don’t know why some people have said you don’t seem like you care about her etc..you clearly do, or you wouldn’t be writing this post.

Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re a human and you forgot.

Tbh I could imagine myself forgetting something like this, despite putting it in my calendar. I am
more forgetful and have a lot of brain fog in my mid 40s. If I was relying on someone to get me to an appointment I’d check in the night before just to make absolutely sure they had remembered! So although I can well believe that your friend is upset by this, in her shoes I wouldn’t have discussed it several days before and then left it.

Agree. Does one need an explanation as to why they are single, hmmm.

All you can do is sincerely apologise. Your friendship history should dictate what happens next.