Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

Hi, colposcopy is still unpleasant and although not officially 2ww is looking for precancerous cells, and can be, horrid and painful, but thankfully less awful than a colonoscopy. It was kind of you to agree to take your friend, but being let down like that is on the same par as being stood up for a date and it's soul destroying territory..

I would grovel to your friend by flowers if you can afford it, or a thoughtful card if not, the sort with real words, not mush.

I would also reflect on what happened and consider letting her know how you would avoid future muck-ups. And yes I get it, busy, kid sick, I have similar except my DH is also long term sick 🤢, but my diary is bang full of reminders, I even have an alarm to fetch my DC in case I get distracted. I can still forget stuff, and at the weekend I confused the time of a party, but that's not affecting anyone else, and my reflection was to check the time at the start of the day.

Not a devotee of astrology but if friend is a Scorpio star sign, this may be the end of the friendship ime.

Its like you say. Your only human, these things happen.

Unfortunately it’s a real pain of a thing to forget. Even though she was able to make it, if that hadn’t been the case she would have put her body through all the prep which is horrendous, and had the anxiety of the procedure and worry that the hospital wouldn’t let her home without collection as you need to be accompanied for 24 hours after sedation. As someone who has to have them annually they are a nightmare and I know you feel bad but tbh I’d be very upset with you too. I would let her cool off, send some flowers maybe and a card to say you hope she’s recovering well and you’re there when she’s ready.

Because someone asked her what her childcare arrangement was initially.

This is very misleading for anyone having to have a colonoscopy - they are not scary and very very unpleasant, The worst thing is the prep (I’ve had several due to bowel disease).

She's being harsh. Your child was sick and you forgot. It happens. She should have messaged to the night before or that morning instead of a few days before. I would have forgot too in your situation. At least she managed to get there.

Her child had a chest infection. She was overwhelmed to get him/her an appointment. Her friend is a grown up person, without children who could sort her out herself. Are your friends more important that your children? Her friend is actually an as* *if she doesn't understand that a child comes first.

All fine here thanks@goldylock
Looking up thread at some of your other responses, I'm happy with mine 😅

How can you forget an inportant thing like that.it will take a long time to forgive you ,lets just hope she does.

You said op didnt seem to know what the procedure was as proof she doesnt care.

I said its pretty clear she did and it was just a typo.

Maybe you didnt know it was a colposcopy yesterday, great, i agree, but thats totally irrelevant to my comment.

Now youre rambling on about me saying people are pretending not to know what the procedure was. Eh? I didn't even say anything remotely like that 😂

As a result, I have no option but to assume the chess with pigeon comment is self-deprecating im afraid 😂

My post of 14.47 yesterday clearly shows I did not know, and other people did not know either hence the confusion on this thread. Or are they all 'pretending not to know' for some bizarre reason only you can imagine.

Anyway if you enjoy denying facts you do you, it's no skin off my nose, everyone has to have a hobby. But I won't engage any more because I don't play chess with pigeons.

Yes. Regularly. I have a name among friends and family for being reliable and dependable.

I’m glad I’m not friends with some of these posters. Life is not black and white. The friend can be understandably upset and the OP can be very sorry simultaneously. It’s life, things happen.

Say sorry, don’t do it again, make notes in your calendar and move on. If your friend can’t forgive you maybe it isn’t the right friendship for you.

Just leave her to get over it (or not). People are fallible. You didn't intend to let her down and you've apologised. End of. If she wants to lose a friendship (and a taxi service) over this, that's on her.

If I was her, I would have messaged you in the morning to check that everything was still as planned. I don't expect people who are kindly doing me a favour to have nothing more important going on in their lives beyond running round after me.

Buy yourself some flowers and leave her to get over herself. Don't apologise again until she apologises for her childish behaviour. You've done nothing wrong.

You have done what you can OP. Just let her have her space for now. It may take her a little longer to process, reflect and be able to move past it. That isn’t a character flaw and is not an invitation for others on here to start slagging her off, despite not knowing anything about what the actual true intention behind her silence is. There are some really horrible people on here who will now use this as a further opportunity and justification to make shitty comments about your friend.

Oh leave her to it op. She's being very silly and immature. Maybe shes got other stuff going on and is latching on to this. Who knows. Youve apologised, nothing more you can do. Her loss and im sure she'll be back in touch when she needs something 😬

Am not the one cursing at someone else.

As suggested already, have a look at yourself first.

Erm, well, yes, i do know that you know it was a colposcopy and it was a typo/misspelling 😂

Regardless, if the issue is op forgetting the appointment, then surely it doesnt matter if it was a colposcopy or a colonoscopy.

Likewise

Showing your true colours now...

Did you not read the several instances where I wrote 'in my experience'?
And again, to be told I know nothing.
Fuck off.

Sadly she can be known to use silence as a form of punishment @MamaBee22

Known by whom? You? What other situations has resulted in her silence?

What I'm wondering, is there a pattern of you letting her down?

Fyi silence can also be the need for space, boundaries, processing hurt feelings.

I would leave it for now.
Obviously it’s not great that you forgot but these things do happen especially when you have your own stress such as looking after a sick DC.

No I don't 'know that' that's why I and others asked OP to clarify. Because there are 2 similarly named terms it could have been and since they are rather different the onus was on the OP to be accurate. But she wasn't; consequently many people were confused. But you 'know that' don't you ?