Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

I tell you what, learn how to tag people in posts!

So do I remember appointments etc, but am I sure I’ll never fail? No of course I’m not!

Anyway you carry on with your spiteful attack on OP, calling her little miss perfect, it’ll boost your own ego of
perfectness even more.

You made a mistake, has she never made a mistake before? I don’t like the dig about people letting her down. Personally I’d of text the morning of asking if you were still alright to take me. She still got there on time so what’s the problem? You had an unwell child so that takes preference. It’s very easy to forget if you’ve a lot going on . Give yourself a break.

It sounds to me like you’re usually a very supportive friend but you had a lot going on with a pretty sick child, which is likely to have been fairly scary. I think you made a genuine, one off mistake, which of course impacted on your friend but what else could you do. Your friend made her appt - it wasn’t an ideal situation but she got there. You’ve apologised. I think she’s behaving badly now at giving you the silent treatment when you’re usually a good friend. If she dumps you as a friend based on this one mistake then it doesn’t sound like she’s very pleasant or forgiving. You have apologised. I don’t know what else you can do.

There's nothing in my posts that suggests I am perfect. I realise my limitations. When I say I will help a friend I will do it. I have never forgotten important appointments and if I can't do it I will say I can't. You can't go through winging it then let people down and expect them to be ok about it. Sometimes you have to say no and prioritise. My household is a priority over anyone else.

If anything the OP is trying to be Little Miss Perfect and doing everything. In the process she has let her friend down. Cause and effect. This was a preventable situation if the OP prioritise her child instead of involving her friend and making a promise she couldn't keep.

I rarely ever comment on here but felt compelled to on your post. You sound so genuinely remorseful for what happened and as annoying/inconvenient it was for your friend, life happens & sometimes mistakes happen. It sounds like you already had your hands full and committed to this before you knew how your week would unfold. While I understand your friends annoyance, I find it immature to give you the silent treatment. I get that she’s probably fuming and maybe doesn’t have anything nice to respond with right now, but you sound so sad. Just give her time and if your friendship is strong it’ll ride the wave. Maybe take her some flowers to say sorry in person….here’s some for you too 💐

There was no prep, read the updates.

Perhaps the friend shouldn’t be accepting favours from mothers of children with chronic illnesses? Maybe she should’ve said “no, you’ve got enough going on, supposing your DC suddenly gets ill”, because after all that’s a true friend! And a rubbish friend would accept the offer, then start being shitty when it went wrong….. oh hang on 🤔

‘Sadly she can be known to use silence as a form of punishment and has definitely tried to make me feel as guilty as possible.’
Please don’t reference her behaviour in that passive aggressive manner. You have hurt her and she needs time-she may/may not forgive you, time will tell.

Although there are reasons you are in the wrong here. This will have been a huge deal for her, the prep is awful, it is scary to experience and the results can be pretty bad news. You left her alone for all this and if she asked you to do it you must have been someone she really trusted. Try to put aside all your reasons (even though they are valid) and just think what this was like from her side. Its hugely likely this had a possible cancer diagnosis and she went alone, flustered and un prepared. Sit with her side for a day or two then consider what you might hope for from a friend who did it to you. It was awful you didn't mean to hurt her but you did. I wouldn't go chocolate gift to simple like you forgot a birthday card. Try to create a space to acknowledge - maybe a day out together visiting somewhere that is calm and beautiful. Hold your tounge dont defend or deflect and let her say all the things that are inside. All day no excuses just listen and accept.

Good luck I am sure you are not a bad person but this was a really bad thing to happen to your friend when she was already vulnerable.

You are human. Everyone does or has done things like this and if they say they never have they're lying/editing!! - and people who really care about each other understand that life is busy and mistakes happen. Send really good flowers, with a message spelling out that you have been an oaf and feel terrible and massively owe her one. Then go on as normal. (But setting alarms for important things! I'm so guilty of neglecting to do this too.)

Christ imagine being as perfect as you!

You must be insufferable!

The friend strangely enough is let down by a lot of people….

The OP tried her best and cocked up, if you spoke to me like that about a mistake when my child was sick, you wouldn’t need to worry about responding to my message, you wouldn’t have one.

If you’ve never made a mistake, here’s a medal 🏅

She's a rubbish friend who needs to focus on her family. Simple as that. You don't play games with people's health. When you're responsible for a child and one who has a chronic illness that can be fatal if not treated properly and timely, accept that helping others may not be possible and making promises to help may not be realistic. That saves letting other people down and goes them the opportunity to get reliable help.

It's not rocket science. It's called foresight. Get some.

I've recently had a colonoscopy, the preparation was by far worse than the procedure, but of course the whole day was pretty stressful. My daughter took me and took me home, which was lovely of her, but I would have been ok about getting g myself there.
You are obviously very upset about forgetting your friend, it would have been stressful for her, but we can forget,get distracted etc, and it's done now, so time to move forward.I hope your friend is OK.

So let me get this straight: she got there anyway. And then you offered to pick her up but she was in a major huff and is giving you the silent treatment. And you have been there for her 99% of the time?
I’d KILL to have a pal like you.
I’ve never had someone willing to regularly step up for me.
And if I did, I wouldn’t give them the silent treatment if as a one off, they dropped the ball. Jesus. Talk about no good deed going unpunished. Does she do much for you in return or is this a one way street with you giving and her taking?
You sound really lovely.
I bet she’ll be back when she needs something else done and she finds how rare it is to have someone be as good to her as you are. Truly wish you were my neighbour/friend.

Of course not. You just proved my point. She has a child with a chronic illness and so she shouldn't be making plans to help her friend when a medical emergency a step away for her child. She shoild have said no, sorry I can't and then the friend could have found a reliable alternative person to gwt her to and from her appointment. All of this was preventable.

Why don’t you read the OPs updates it explains all of that for you.

Send her a nice bouquet of flowers or buy her some and take them around with a heartfelt apology. If she invites you in ,thats a start! If she is cool or unpleasant. Then you make your final apology and leave. After that its up to her whether she wants to remain friends or not. You messed up! You try to put it right. You are not a bad friend ,you are just imperfect. Like the rest of us on here. Good luck with it.

She said she forgot. If she has issues with children's health then why take on the responsibility of getting her friend to her own medical appointment for a procedure? You can make as many excuses as you want. She needs tonprioritiese her fsmilynin thst matter and stop being an unreliable friend and letting her friend down. It's called being an adult.

So you think that OP should prioritise her friend over her poorly child?

'Colposcopy' not coloscopy. People were thinking you meant 'colonoscopy' which is up bum, not per vagina.

I hope you can repair the relationship.

This. Surely you had some conversation the night before etc to check arrangements. It was also her responsibility to check you were coming. You have said sorry. The silent treatment drama she is giving you really isnt necessary. Probably no going back from this.

Did you not tell her your child was poorly? Maybe she might of been more understanding

She didn’t miss it.

Try reading the updates?

It was because her child was unwell and getting worse, ended in more antibiotics and steroids for the child asthma.

Not a good experience and very frightening, have you ever experienced that?

Not sure why you think it’s a childcare issue, OP was intending to take the children with her.

I think OP has said a lot that she realises it’s serious. Not sure why you’re acting like she doesn’t care.

I don't think a gesture is enough. The damage is done. It was a medical procedure that her friend missed because of her inability to prioritise. With a friend like her I wouldn't need an enemy.