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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband leaves me a list of duties

162 replies

JanineCody · 22/02/2026 13:54

My husband of 18 years bought a little whiteboard a few weeks ago which goes on the fridge so you can write reminders for groceries etc on it but over the past week or so he's been leaving me a list of "duties" on it.

-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."

-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."

-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow."

-(My name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost."

AIBU for thinking I am not his slave?

OP posts:
BlueJuniper94 · 22/02/2026 14:34

Context or it didnt happen

skyeisthelimit · 22/02/2026 14:33

Take it off the wall and leave it face down somewhere. Why has he started to do this? Have you said anything to him about it?

TheCurious0range · 22/02/2026 14:32

DH and I have similar it also includes the weekly meal plan and space for groceries to go on the list for the best shop. However we sit down on a Sunday together and agree tasks for the week and both add to it and both tick things off. DH has ADHD and this is both helpful for him and makes me less resentful about the mental load

Bikergran · 22/02/2026 14:29

Write on it (His name) stop being such a pompous controlling prick.

Or just bin it.

DarkForces · 22/02/2026 14:28

That whiteboard would be straight in the bin

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 22/02/2026 14:28

A major piece of context here is how much you do around the house.

The list is rude but if it'd been preceded by 18y of him doing most of the housework or something, I can see why he might.....

lazyarse123 · 22/02/2026 14:27

If you are very forgetful and you've agreed that these are things you would do it could be mildly ok. But the lack of manners would mightily fuck me off.
It doesn't sound as though that's the case.

MargotMoon · 22/02/2026 14:26

I’m torn between the cock and balls graffiti and the list of his duties. Presumably he has duties which he needs reminding to do? If so, start with that and then move on to the cock and balls if he doesn’t do them.

Silverfoxette · 22/02/2026 14:26

I get this from time to time but it’s verbal. ‘Your job for this week is to X’
I purposely never do it

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 22/02/2026 14:22

I can think of a few alternatives that I’d be writing on that board op. Like, “Off. You. Fuck”

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 22/02/2026 14:21

Hmm. So what's he been like for the rest of the 18 years you've been together?

Miyagi99 · 22/02/2026 14:18

Depends on the circumstances, during Covid I was the only one at work so left a list of chores every day for my partner and daughter.

itsthetea · 22/02/2026 14:16

Well come context is required - if you are at home and he is working full time , asking you do to a few things for him is reasonable

otherwise , wipe your name off and write his

notatinydancer · 22/02/2026 14:16

(Husband’s name ) Fuck off.

RuffledKestrel · 22/02/2026 14:14

Tell him where to go!
We have a big board in the kitchen where we write stuff that needs done. No names on it though, we just scrub the items off when we do them and add them if it's something that needs done that we cannot do right now for some reason.
If it's a list for adults to take tasks from then I wouldn't stand for names.

SingtotheCat · 22/02/2026 14:13

Do you both work? Young children?
He is your husband, not your boss.

Helpforsummer · 22/02/2026 14:13

MammaBear1 · 22/02/2026 13:56

Well he sounds insufferable! You aren’t his unpaid servant!

If my other half did this he might find a
huge cock and balls drawn on his whiteboard 🤣

Hide the marker pens.

Tbh I find whiteboards only useful for drawing penises (sic? Penis'? Penii? What is the plural of penis 🤣)

ThatThisThatYou · 22/02/2026 14:11

I’d be writing fuck off in large letters if that appeared in my house. Is he always such a dick?

Figcherry · 22/02/2026 14:11

Just write LOL next to the instructions and ignore them.

MNLurker1345 · 22/02/2026 14:09

I am really interested to know what the conversation that this white board and written instructions on it, inspired in your home between you and DH.

It is being debated on MN as a result of your post. I trust it is being as enthusiastically debated with your DH and your input includes many of the wonderful suggestions of PPs.

toomuchfaff · 22/02/2026 14:07

Have you ever done the tasks he writes on the board?

Stop doing that.

Dont ever do any task that is written on that board.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 22/02/2026 14:05

I'd put "DIY" next to each instruction.

SalmonOnburntcrisp · 22/02/2026 14:03

I'd either

  1. Buy a second whiteboard and leave a list for him
Or
  1. on his list carefully erase @JanineCody and in his handwriting replace it with Ddogs name or your dhs name..then feign ignorance as the task wasnt for you.
AltitudeCheck · 22/02/2026 14:00

Fixed it for you

-(His name) "Pick up your suit from the dry cleaners, you'll need it for your funeral at this rate"

-(His name) "Go to Supermarket and treat yourself to those biscuits, and pick up the weekly shop while you're there, you'll need to do that every week when you are single"

-(His name) " Iron your own shirt for tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next one, until hell freezes over"

-(His name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost, I've left you a book ''cookery for the single man' as a parting gift"

Silverbirchleaf · 22/02/2026 14:00

That would really cheese me off, and the whiteboard would probably end in the bin. Or I would write jobs for him to do.

Maybe the dry cleaning one is acceptable, because it’s just a reminder that his suit needs picking up, rather than the others, which are orders to do things.