Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband leaves me a list of duties

162 replies

JanineCody · 22/02/2026 13:54

My husband of 18 years bought a little whiteboard a few weeks ago which goes on the fridge so you can write reminders for groceries etc on it but over the past week or so he's been leaving me a list of "duties" on it.

-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."

-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."

-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow."

-(My name) "Take chicken out of freezer to defrost."

AIBU for thinking I am not his slave?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
HoskinsChoice · 23/02/2026 00:37

halftermhalfawake · 22/02/2026 18:23

I don't think op is coming back...maybe a job on the whiteboard was "make fake thread on MN"

Show quote history

😆 And yet we're on page 2 and people are still taking it seriously! 🤷‍♀️

BIWI · 22/02/2026 21:17

Ilovepastafortea · 22/02/2026 18:59

Disagree - it's rather fun.

OP probably digging a deep hole for a new patio. 😂

Edited
Show quote history

OP has apparently deregistered. So this is clearly a thread not started with the best of intentions.

notacooldad · 22/02/2026 20:42

Actually I can imagine a world where we have a list, we kind of do but it's in our messages, we've both been trying to book a Sunday lunch for weeks so we'll message each other if one of us is off 'if you get a chance can you call nd book Sunday lunch for next week and order the dogs medicine' then after work we'll see if we managed but it goes both ways and it's prompts but I can imagine one of getting a whiteboard and writing a weekly to do list for us collectively.

Sure, but there's a world of difference between someone saying ' if you get the chance' and leaving a list of demands.

Theres not a chance Dh would say
-(My name) "Pick up my suit from the dry cleaners."
-(My name) "Go to Supermarket and get those biscuits I like."
-(My name) " Iron my blue shirt for tomorrow.

RollOnSunshine · 22/02/2026 19:42

mathanxiety · 22/02/2026 19:37

No, there is absolutely no context in which one grown adult in a relationship leaves a list of orders for the partner to carry out.

Show quote history

Oh behave.

If the husband it working 40 hours a week and she is sitting at home doing sweet fanny adams then he is not being unreasonable in the slightest.

But the point is there is absolutely zero context given.

mathanxiety · 22/02/2026 19:37

RollOnSunshine · 22/02/2026 18:13

You have not provided us with enough information to make an informed judgement.

Basically - Do you work?

If you have a job then YANBU.
If you do not work YABU.

No, there is absolutely no context in which one grown adult in a relationship leaves a list of orders for the partner to carry out.

mathanxiety · 22/02/2026 19:34

I'd write 'shove whiteboard up H's arse' and consult a solicitor.

Miloarmadillo2 · 22/02/2026 19:31

Response to any rude request/demand in our house (and this is pretty f’ing rude) is ‘Tell me, what did your last slave die of?’
There’d be no nice biscuits for him for a while….

Ilovepastafortea · 22/02/2026 18:59

BIWI · 22/02/2026 17:56

Sick of these 'post and run' threads started by posters with no other history.

Disagree - it's rather fun.

OP probably digging a deep hole for a new patio. 😂

canuckup · 22/02/2026 18:41

What are your requests for him?

NeedWineNow · 22/02/2026 18:30

my response would be

(Husbands name) - Off you fuck

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 22/02/2026 18:28

Massive cross through the middle and in big red caps at the bottom STOP GIVING ME FUCKING ORDERS.

Catwalking · 22/02/2026 18:26

Does husband think this is amusing?
Think my whiteboard would somehow go missing.

halftermhalfawake · 22/02/2026 18:23

HoskinsChoice · 22/02/2026 13:56

🤣🎣 Nice try but not subtle enough.

I don't think op is coming back...maybe a job on the whiteboard was "make fake thread on MN"

Tablesandchairs23 · 22/02/2026 18:15

Dick fuck off

awaynboilyurheid · 22/02/2026 18:14

There's an old joke about a scotsman and englishman and an Irish man each getting married and not being happy with their wives housework. Englishman spoke sternly to his wife and saw a difference right away. Scotsman tried the same and first day didn't see much difference but reiterated it and by the next day things really improved. The Irishman spoke to his wife, saw nothing the first day, nor the second day, by the third day the swelling had subsided and he could see a little out of one eye but he'd definitely learnt his lesson.
As an Irish woman I feel I can tell that joke but also, good luck leaving me a list fo chores for a grown adult. He can wipe his own a**e. How do you get 18 yrs on and have him think this would suddenly fly?
Wipe the thing clean, draw something obscene on it and go for a spa day.

I heard this but it was the Scotsman that couldn’t see out of his eye
I’d write 2 words last one would be off

Barnbrack · 22/02/2026 18:14

notacooldad · 22/02/2026 18:08

Im all for doing errands for each other.
If im off work I ask Dh if he needs anything doing. The answer usually is no.

I cant imagine a world where he became an arsehole and started leaving me lists without asking if I was ok to do something.
Sounds like your Dh is flexing on and showing he is the man of the house!!!
Tell him to DIYMFS!!

Actually I can imagine a world where we have a list, we kind of do but it's in our messages, we've both been trying to book a Sunday lunch for weeks so we'll message each other if one of us is off 'if you get a chance can you call nd book Sunday lunch for next week and order the dogs medicine' then after work we'll see if we managed but it goes both ways and it's prompts but I can imagine one of getting a whiteboard and writing a weekly to do list for us collectively.

Op maybe do that, add your own to do to the lust

RollOnSunshine · 22/02/2026 18:13

You have not provided us with enough information to make an informed judgement.

Basically - Do you work?

If you have a job then YANBU.
If you do not work YABU.

pocketpairs · 22/02/2026 18:11

Seems like you've missed some of your duties in past. Seems harmless enough, especially if it help you remember.

notacooldad · 22/02/2026 18:08

Im all for doing errands for each other.
If im off work I ask Dh if he needs anything doing. The answer usually is no.

I cant imagine a world where he became an arsehole and started leaving me lists without asking if I was ok to do something.
Sounds like your Dh is flexing on and showing he is the man of the house!!!
Tell him to DIYMFS!!

gentilleprof7 · 22/02/2026 18:04

YANBU
I assume you are at home and he's at work. If not he is vvv unreasonable.
I am cringing though as I sometimes give my dh a list of things to do if I am at work and he is off.

itsthetea · 22/02/2026 18:01

BIWI · 22/02/2026 17:56

Sick of these 'post and run' threads started by posters with no other history.

Too bloody right

BIWI · 22/02/2026 17:56

Sick of these 'post and run' threads started by posters with no other history.

MO0N · 22/02/2026 17:56

I'd have lots of fun writing out a list for him😆

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 22/02/2026 17:55

"Prepare a large hole in the patio"

ConstanzeMozart · 22/02/2026 17:51

What’s led up to this? Have you mentioned it to him and how did he respond?

Swipe left for the next trending thread