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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To declare your issues to work colleagues

66 replies

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 13:40

What are the rules around this. I dont know. A few years ago, I had a manager who upset loads of people..All her issues seemed to be around a need to control absolutely every aspect of the office...especially the physical aspects. . She got worked up about mechanisms to do with the entrance door , objects in the kitchen and office itself, people's responsibilities relating to these physical aspects, etc. Would be smily and nice to people and then the next minute you'd find out she'd run off to the buildings manager complaining and telling tales about things other people had 'done'. She had unpleasant ' differences' with at least 10 people during the time she was there. In my own case, she tried at one point to get me to ' tell off' a colleague i'd always got on with for some 'misdemeanour' she'd perceived they'd 'committed' in relation to god knows what.....i cant.even remember. One day i was alone in the office with her up the other end and i think she forgot i was there. I saw her doing what looked.like ritualistic tapping with her elbows on a door. It was then everything kind of clicked and i realised she probably had OCD . Her behaviour had really got everyone's back up over the time she was there and i coulsnt help thinking how.muxh easier it would have been if we'd all known from the beginning, because then we would have better understood why she felt such an apparently overwhelming need to xontrol the office environmwt and everybody in it. And we might have been able to come up with some strategies to help her... Anyone else had this and what did you do about it. Not strictly AIBU i know but interested in your views aa people like this can really cause havic in an office.

OP posts:
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Sisandbro81 · 23/02/2026 06:34

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BrickBiscuit · 22/02/2026 19:33

@Daygloboo'What are the rules around this.'
That depends on the type of organisation. Did they have policies on grievance, occupational health and performance? It does sound like a medical cause like OCD might have been behind it. The rules would involve raising your concerns with your line management, and them referring to occupational health etc, if appropriate, among other actions. Disclosure to you of any condition would be up to the person concerned, not something management would pursue.

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 19:06

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 17:49

I think you are being a bit silly and aggressive and there is no need to address me further because I am not going to engage with you again as you are not prepared to have a proper respectful discussion. My points are valid even if you dont like them.

No your points aren't valid and you have no right to anyone's medical information. Its that simple, it doesn't matter how you phrase it or how you explain it the simple fact is you have no right to know anyone's medical information and there's really nothing to discuss as legally your not allowed the medical information

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 17:51

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:54

Did you share your ND with your work colleagues @Daygloboo ?

I’m going to guess… you didn’t

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 17:49

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 17:39

Its irrelevant how helpful you might find knowing other people's PRIVATE MEDICAL INFORMATION YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO IT!
And yes you are being disingenuous whether you mean to or not and you still haven't answered my question

I think you are being a bit silly and aggressive and there is no need to address me further because I am not going to engage with you again as you are not prepared to have a proper respectful discussion. My points are valid even if you dont like them.

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Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 17:39

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:53

Well it's interesting that you know more about what i mean inside my own head than i do. You are entirely wrong actually. I am not being disingenuous. What i meant was that it would be handy to know what people's iasues are as they might indeed have implications for how dynamics play out at work..

Its irrelevant how helpful you might find knowing other people's PRIVATE MEDICAL INFORMATION YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO IT!
And yes you are being disingenuous whether you mean to or not and you still haven't answered my question

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:54

Did you share your ND with your work colleagues @Daygloboo ?

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:53

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 16:19

No its not they are exactly the same thing your version is just dressed up as being kind to others.
I will say it one last time YOU HAVE ZERO RIGHTS TO KNOW ANYONE'S MEDICAL INFORMATION

Well it's interesting that you know more about what i mean inside my own head than i do. You are entirely wrong actually. I am not being disingenuous. What i meant was that it would be handy to know what people's iasues are as they might indeed have implications for how dynamics play out at work..

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Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 16:19

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:15

Just exactly where in my post do I say people should be ' forced' to tell other people about their medical conditions..I asked what the rules are around it. And I said it would be easier to know about problem.behaviours up front.. That is very different from syggesting people should be forced to divulge details about conditions.

No its not they are exactly the same thing your version is just dressed up as being kind to others.
I will say it one last time YOU HAVE ZERO RIGHTS TO KNOW ANYONE'S MEDICAL INFORMATION

Tahio · 22/02/2026 16:17

The law is that no one has to tell their employer they're disabled.

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:15

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 16:03

Then why are you still going on about it now and please do answer my question What other medical information do you think people should be forced to tell everyone?

Just exactly where in my post do I say people should be ' forced' to tell other people about their medical conditions..I asked what the rules are around it. And I said it would be easier to know about problem.behaviours up front.. That is very different from syggesting people should be forced to divulge details about conditions.

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HauntedBungalow · 22/02/2026 16:04

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:02

Bit cagey on that

I suspect many many years ago

Like I say : deceased.

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 16:03

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:00

This was years ago..

Then why are you still going on about it now and please do answer my question What other medical information do you think people should be forced to tell everyone?

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:03

Do you have any neuro diversities OP?

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:02

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:02

Quite a few.

Bit cagey on that

I suspect many many years ago

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:02

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:01

How many?

Quite a few.

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Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 16:01

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:00

This was years ago..

How many?

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 16:00

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 15:45

Again you don't know she has OCD thats just your uneducated opinion which is worth nothing.
You should be raising any concerns with your manager when the behaviour is impacting you and then hr not putting up with it.
You are still insisting that she has OCD because you (with no medical training) have decided that she has it and are using that to demand people hand over their private medical information to all staff. Again I ask what other medical information should everyone be forced to hand over?

This was years ago..

OP posts:
Portugal1987 · 22/02/2026 15:58

I have ocd and I never would behave like this. Nor have I declared it to my employer and never will.

It sounds (ocd or not) like she was just an incredibly unpleasant person to work with. And your company should have dealt with it (feedback rounds/performance reviews?) if it was affecting other people.

But other than that, part of an office environment is dealing with other people with different personalities.

HauntedBungalow · 22/02/2026 15:57

If it was a very long time ago she might well be dead by now. Or retired anyway.

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 15:52

Do you have any diagnosed neuro diversities or mental health Illnesses@Daygloboo ?

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 15:50

That's how obsessive she was about controlling and getting her point across.

or….

brace yourself @Daygloboo

its just about how unpleasant a person she was

Sisandbro81 · 22/02/2026 15:49

I’m going to guess the OP was a “character” in this workplace

Rizzz · 22/02/2026 15:47

Oh you are funny OP.

You haven't a clue either way whether she has OCD and all this happened years ago anyway.

It's baffling the things people start threads about.

Hoardasurass · 22/02/2026 15:45

Daygloboo · 22/02/2026 15:34

Ppl with ocd control to relieve anxiety not because they WANT power. I think that is what she was doing. And i very much feel that if a person's behaviour is constantly upsetting everybody then it does need to be.dealt with. HR yes, of course, but initially it is often the colleagues who are bearing the brunt and who will.( quite naturally )be working through in their own minds what is going on. I wasnt going round like sigmund freud with a clipboard.

Again you don't know she has OCD thats just your uneducated opinion which is worth nothing.
You should be raising any concerns with your manager when the behaviour is impacting you and then hr not putting up with it.
You are still insisting that she has OCD because you (with no medical training) have decided that she has it and are using that to demand people hand over their private medical information to all staff. Again I ask what other medical information should everyone be forced to hand over?

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