To leave DH because of his work

This selfish delusional man is a millstone round your neck. Can you work and build up some money? (Don't let him at it!)

Why don’t you get a job OP?

Did you have a job before the pregnancy? It all sounds very precarious and that neither of you are in an ideal financial position. Sickness during pregnancy would be covered by sick pay and then there is maternity pay and maternity leave.

where does your money come from?

Tell him that you have no more money to give him and that he needs to start bringing something in.

Whatever this business is, he should be out earning money doing it. He could also work a second job to bring in money while the business gets established.

When I wanted to leave my job, I worked there and as self employed until I had enough additional work in the business to be able to leave.

Start making plans to leave, keep your money and use it to rent somewhere

I don’t get this either. She didn’t work whilst pregnant & is unemployed.

living with his parents when they don’t have a pot to piss in actually sounds sensible.

one or both of them need to get an actual job

Every day you don’t get out of this relationship is another day carrying this dead weight. Go, start again, you will be soooo glad you didn’t wait another minute.

dont give him any more chances now. You leave, no matter what, and if he means any of the drivel he will come out with then he can go get a job and a place of his own and pay maintenance and see his child a regular amount and then ask you to try again. He’s used all his chances now and that ‘you’re all I have’ makes me want to puke.

Run like the wind. What an embarrassing excuse for a man.

Your first step is to see where you will be with housing.

Go to the council, tell them you're currently living with your husbands parents but need to leave him because he is financially abusive. Ask how they are going to help you.

This is no more intentionally making yourself homeless than walking out on a man who hits you.

Why are men so comfortable abdicating their financial responsibilities to their families.

Worthless men leaving and paying no CM.
Worthless men moving in with women and forgetting that love/cocklodging pays no bills.
Worthless men watching their pregnant partners work their fingers to the bone, scrimping and saving to pay their half of the bills whilst on ML.
Worthless men leaving their jobs to start businesses at the most inopportune times.
And now this one, who also has an unemployed wife and baby...

How old is your baby? Can he sort out childcare between him and his parents, while you return to work? At least then you can start some savings to get away from the irresponsible man.

What is the business?
Do you have any money?
How old is your baby?

Every area has completely different rules.

It can also be the case that if you’re ‘homeless’ they put you in a home and you have no say on the area etc.
Whereas if you say you need to move out, then you’ll get given more opportunity to (within reason) choose a more suitable place and not just be put anywhere.

I definitely agree to look into it before applying.

he sounds naive. i wonder if his parents have somwthimg to do with this madness? them telling him hes brilliant or the opposite him showing off because they aren’t impressed with him. if so being in their house wont help things .

either way i think it’s time to go. you stood by him while he tried somethimg. it didn’t work. he needs a day job.

Does he not realise most people (especially with family responsibility) starting a new business have a day job working in a company to keep them afloat and the self employed job in the evenings etc. while they wait for it to take off.

i take it you were made redundant or somethimg which would explain you having money to support him and also being unemployed?

i forget how old your child is but could he become a sahd while you get a job? he could set up his back bedroom business while he looks after dc?

once youre employed it would be easier to get a house etc. what you do with him is up to you. im thinking a split even if temporary is the way to go.

You have to leave. His ego is his priority rather than his wife and child.

I don't know if this applies now, but when I needed a home away from my husband, simply leaving and presenting yourself to the council was called 'making yourself intentionally homeless', and you would not qualify for council housing. Please check this out before before you think of this as a possible solution.

Leave, and don't look back 👍

I think you have had a thread before, where you were still optimistic that he’d turn things around. It sounds as though you’ve lost hope- and I think rightly so. He is relying on you to keep you all afloat financially, and unilaterally making choices that affect you.

Start saving/earning/lining up your ducks. Work on a plan and then go. In the meantime, spend nothing on him- don’t buy him food, fuel for his car etc.

Yet another over confident man being absolutely delusional about his abilities and the viability of this so-called business.
He will continue to drag you down, run for the hills.

It does sound like you need to leave. How are you paying for everything if you're unemployed? Go to the housing department at your local council, they will house you in temporary accommodation if you have a child. Speak to Citizen's Advice about what benefits you can claim while you are getting yourself on your feet. Then you need to find a job, and childcare. Have you got family who will help and support you?

OP you will be financially and emotionally better off without him.

If he had this amazing business idea why wait until you got pregnant, why not do it way before you got pregnant or when the child is older, why not start the business PT in the evenings and build a client base before giving up work??

He waited until you got pregnant because he knew you’d be trapped.
He knew that you couldn’t leave him and that you would have to fund his lifestyle.

He is a very manipulative man who does not care about you or the baby or his poor parents.
This man is a leach - he’s leaching off you, his own child and parents.

Apply for the housing register and explain that you’ve separated with your DP and are living in his parents home.
You will be so much better off.

But do not allow this waste of space to come and move in with you when he sees you doing so well.

He has made his decision. You have asked him to choose and he has.

You say you are unemployed. Are you on benefits? Is that the money you are using?

If so then you can leave him and still get the benefits. You can get help with your rent.

I'd leave. If he had the insight to realise that he'd fucked up then it maybe there would be hope but he sounds like he's got his head in the clouds.

He's fundamentally selfish. His priority is his business baby, not his actual one. He's never going to change while he has you and his parents cushioning his fall.

Can his parents help with childcare so you can get a job? Then that money goes to an exit fund.

Ultimatums are pointless because if the party being given the ultimatum capitulates they just feel resentful and life doesn’t get better in the long run.

He has no respect for you and your family life. This marriage is over already.

He is controlling you!

If you're unemployed and can't afford to leave, how come you can afford to bankroll the two of you? If you can afford that, surely you CAN afford to leave!

Is this the 'you need to be more resilient' guy?