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Original poster

DD had to pay for food at friend’s birthday party

206 replies

WalkAway7 · 21/02/2026 20:21

Just look for advice from mums of teenagers. My DD (15) was invited to a birthday day out by a friend of hers. The plan was a day out in the city. We were asked to drop and collect our own children. When my DC have parties we always collect (using two vehicles) the kids from a central point and drop back to the same point. Anyway, another friend’s parents agreed to drop our girls and we agreed to pick them up (40 mins drive each way). My daughter came home and said they went to KFC and had to buy their own food (the parents had gone off for a few hours and they weren’t being collected until much later).
So I sent my daughter, with a card and gift voucher (same child gave sweets to our DD on her 15th birthday) and we were expected to drop, collect and feed on our children. How is this a “party”?
The parents are not poor as all our DDs all attend private school but perhaps cultural differences influence their decisions…
My question - the parents of the birthday girl should pay for the food?

OP posts:
goz · 21/02/2026 20:34

Are 15 year olds not expected to get on with anything for themselves anymore? You organised the card and gift?

FrodoBiggins · 21/02/2026 20:34

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:32

Yeah it is sorry I don't know how i read that so wrong 🙈🤣

Edited
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Lol no worries 🎂

CypressGrove · 21/02/2026 20:34

That's standard at that age. In say 5 more years the friends might even pay not only for their own food but also cover the birthday girls food.

ThejoyofNC · 21/02/2026 20:33

Very important information here is what was the specific wording on the invitation, assuming there was one?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/02/2026 20:33

It wasn’t a party, you even said yourself she was invited to a birthday day out. Really can’t understand why you are thinking a ‘birthday day out in the city’ is a party?

diddlrydeedoo · 21/02/2026 20:33

What the others have says. It’s not a party, it’s a day hanging out for a friend’s birthday. I’ve got two teens and I’ve seen a mix if both. We invited kids to ours and I order pizza. DC have headed off to town then paid for their own Nando’s. My older one went to an activity a couple of weeks ago and paid for the activity and for food.
I don’t really mind as long as they have fun.

Rayqueen2026 · 21/02/2026 20:32

What teenager still has a party lol I teach them and very rare to hear of any parties from 12-13.

Days out, afternoons out etc and apart from giving a gift will pay there own way

goz · 21/02/2026 20:32

Of course got drop and collect your own children, they’re teenagers! Why would the other parents arrange it?
A day mooching around town isn’t a party that needs to be hosted, it’s just doing something with friends for a birthday.

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:32

FrodoBiggins · 21/02/2026 20:31

That's what I said

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Yeah it is sorry I don't know how i read that so wrong 🙈🤣

Xkk · 21/02/2026 20:31

They are teenagers, hanging out and having fast food. They weren't invited to Ritz. Girls should have paid their own food, nothing wrong there.

FrodoBiggins · 21/02/2026 20:31

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:30

No its really not if anything its the opposite you pay for the person who's birthday it is so for e.g. if there are 20 of you going for a meal you split it 19 ways or everyone pays their own and chucks some extra in to cover the person's whos birthday it is

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That's what I said

wanderingstarz · 21/02/2026 20:30

If the city was easy to get to on public transport I wouldn't even have expected them to get lifts.

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:30

FrodoBiggins · 21/02/2026 20:28

Interesting - if I go out for a friend's birthday now (as an adult) I (maybe with other guests) would usually pay for their dinner or at least buy them a few drinks. I know this varies culturally but in UK I think the standard is the invited friends pay for birthday girl/boy.
I wonder what age that changes!

Show quote history

No its really not if anything its the opposite you pay for the person who's birthday it is so for e.g. if there are 20 of you going for a meal you split it 19 ways or everyone pays their own and chucks some extra in to cover the person's whos birthday it is

Lovelynames123 · 21/02/2026 20:29

When both of my dds turned 12 they went to the local big shopping centre with friends - dd1 had a number that I could drop off, dd2 had loads so arranged to meet there. Both times I paid for bowling and gave them money to buy friends something to eat and drink, dd1 bought her friends Greggs sausage rolls, dd2 bought them nothing! Maybe there was a miscommunication?

At 15 though surely it's just hanging out together rather than a party

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 21/02/2026 20:29

What’s happened for other birthday days out op? Or is this the first one?
I think I’d have expected them to be fed but clearly I’m in a minority (kids aren’t teens yet).

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 21/02/2026 20:28

I can’t believe you’re trying to call that a party! That’s a day out in town with mates. I absolutely would have expected my dc to be paying for themselves in that situation.

wanderingstarz · 21/02/2026 20:28

Sounds like they were just hanging out for the day with the birthday girl. I wouldn't have expected her parents to pay for the food.

bananaboats · 21/02/2026 20:28

At a birthday party yes I'd expect food to be provided but a day out in the city for a bunch of teenagers no I'd expect them to be paying their own way.

FrodoBiggins · 21/02/2026 20:28

Littletreefrog · 21/02/2026 20:23

Standard for a 15 year old I would have thought. It wasn't a birthday party in the kids birthday party sense it was a day out with the birthday girl. If your friend invited you to the pub for a birthday drink and food would you not pay for it? They are not little anymore.

Interesting - if I go out for a friend's birthday now (as an adult) I (maybe with other guests) would usually pay for their dinner or at least buy them a few drinks. I know this varies culturally but in UK I think the standard is the invited friends pay for birthday girl/boy.
I wonder what age that changes!

Moonnstarz · 21/02/2026 20:27

I think it's more of a day out, where they would have bought anything in the city they wanted and paid for their own lunch, rather than a birthday party where someone hosts an event. More of a girls day out.
I don't recall ever doing anything as a teenager specifically called a party but I guess I must have done something like hanging out with friends.

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:26

They're teenagers on a day out for someones birthday its not a party of course they should buy their own food.

StrawberriesandBrylcream · 21/02/2026 20:26

At 15 and for a day in town/stopping at KFC I'd expect them to sort their own travel with family and pay for their own food.

Octavia64 · 21/02/2026 20:26

Agree not a party.

at this age it’s usually going out with mates parents not really involved. Yes normal to pay for yourself.

Katyapup · 21/02/2026 20:25

I think you're treating this as a kids type party, rather than a group of teenagers going out to celebrate someone's birthday. I wouldn't expect anyone else to pay for food, although it would be a nice touch if they did. And again with the lifts, your reasoning sounds a bit odd; yes that might be the case with, say, 10 year olds, but 15 year olds?

InfoSecInTheCity · 21/02/2026 20:25

DDs friends re all turning 12 and they don’t really have parties anymore, they meet up at a local shopping centre, spend a couple of hours mooching around and then eat, we have dropped her and picked her up but the expectation is they take a little cash to buy something small and enough to cover a fast food meal at McDonald’s, Burger King or kfc.

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