DD had to pay for food at friend’s birthday party

I think what you’re imagining is an actual party though. This was just mates hanging out in town.

Agree with others that this is not a ‘party’. Would definitely expect to pay for own food at this age.

It's not very generous to expect 15-year-olds to pay for their own food when they're gathering to celebrate a friend's birthday. You'd expect them to make it clear they needed to bring their own money, otherwise. No idea what's normal these days, but when I was that age in the 90s, parents would provide food for their child/teen's birthday guests. The food doesn't have to be expensive, but if you can't afford KFC for everyone, don't invite people to eat there.

This is probably why the parents are well off.

I find that very unusual. I don't know any secondary school kid who doesn't have a card.
What do your kids do if they want to buy something with their friends after school? Or if they want to buy a book or a game or even a bottle of water when you're not around?

Its pretty normal for the birthday teen to ask friends if they want to meet up and go for food. The expectation is that everybody pays their own way unless otherwise specified. There is no need to bring anything but sometimes a card and token e.g sweets are given to the birthday teen.

Haha no. He's autistic and will do Sen practical work training. Even if I gave him a card it would stress him out to use it so he wouldn't. DS12 would probably like one but none of his friends have one and they still got parents involved for playdates. Quite protected I know, nothing like my up bringing when I had a key and was independant at 8. But this is what all kids except a minority whose parents don't care live like in my town.

“Hey, gang, since my birthday was during exams, let’s all go hang out in town on Saturday for shopping and KFC. Meet at Boots at 11”

Something like that is likely to have been the “invite”

By the age of 15 my kids have always arranged the meet ups themselves and each person pays for themselves - I just transfer the money and act as taxi driver if needed. My daughter had friends over recently for her birthday - it was more just a get together than a party but I paid for them to have pizzas, again my daughter did all the communicating to let them know we’d be ordering pizza for everyone.

Sorry, I think the child’s parents are seriously tight. The girl has invited her friends for a KFC , hardly fine dining, as a parent I would be more than happy to treat my children’s friends to a few fries and nuggets to celebrate a birthday ! At 15 most children do not have a job and the financial means to pay for themselves. I feel it’s a good lesson to teach your children a bit of generosity and let them treat their friends. Completely agree with the poster.

It doesn't sound like it was made clear to the OP's child that they would all pay for themselves. This should have been made clear in advance. Clearly there was an invite, otherwise they wouldn't have known to come.

My kids would never ask their mates to hang out in town if they had to foot the bill because they did the 'invite' and were the 'host'. Surely someone has to suggest the meet up or they would just never go out together? Dd goes to the city probably every second weekend, I have no idea who does the 'invite' and who is supposed to be the 'host' its just kids hanging out together.

Now that is absolutely ridiculous! 😅

There was no host. It wasn't a party. There was no invite. It was a bunch of teens hanging out for one of their birthdays.
Quote from OP "There was no invite to me just the birthday girl arranging the get together for her birthday with her friends as they were all in the middle of exams at the time of her actual birthday."

It gets worse OP. Young adult Dd was invited to a dinner party recently and next day was asked to pay her share of the cost of the ingredients. This was not raised at the time of the invite so Dd was left thinking that this is the norm.
It was simple food and while she appreciated it and the host’s time and effort she feels stung that she was not informed in advance of the cost arrangement.
The way that you operate may not chime with others unfortunately.

Sounds like it was a bunch of friends meeting in town, abit of shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. It wasn’t a party, it was just a catch up, a chance to spend time together by the sounds of it.
Our eldest is a couple of years younger but since going to secondary school no one does parties, I don’t speak to their friends parents to arrange things.
I certainly wouldn’t collect all the children and drop them back at this age.
I just make sure he has a lift if he needs one, money on his card, fully charged phone and a time he needs to be back by.

It’s not a party though. They arranged to get together for a trip out. Sounds fine to me that no meal was paid for.
Personally I would like to provide something for my child’s bday for friends etc. but I don’t see that they’ve don’t anything wrong here. Miscommunication perhaps.

They went to hang out in town. They were not invited out for a meal.

Definitely the host teen or teen’s parents should be buying the lunch /dinner for everyone

Yes, they should have paid. My DD of the same age took her friends our for a meal on her birthday and then we popped into the restaurant at the end to pay the bill. It is the responsibility of the host to provide the food. Especially if people were bringing birthday presents. I always make sure DD has money if she is invited for a meal incase she does need to pay.

That’s bloody cheeky! I’d never invite some young people out for a birthday meal and then not pay.

"Cultural differences" - what's that code for? 🙄

I think 15-year-olds hanging out in town as opposed to having a formal party generally means each kid arranges own transport and spending money - especially when all are in private school and it's safe to assume other families can afford it.

I usually give my daughter a bit extra in case one of her friends is caught short, but she's rarely had to use it.

OP says in a later post that there was no invite. The kids organised it themselves. The only adult input was getting them there because OP lives somewhere with no buses or trains. It was a bunch of teens going into the nearest city for some shopping and food. Not a party. The only person that seems to think it was a party is OP

15?........

I am astonished. Will your 16 year old be going to uni in a couple of years?