I really do love both mine and my second is just lovely and I wouldn’t be without her.
But just the same I really miss how simple life was with just one. Life was so easy as they got older, it was easy to get a babysitter if me and my husband wanted a date night, it was easy for me to arrange to see friends, easy to get time to myself and share lie ins at a weekend and I would get plenty sleep as my toddler slept well at night. Even if DH and I went somewhere together with ds we got a break each, eg to sit down or on holiday.
I know I don’t give enough time for dc1, I feel bad about that and I still nearly three years on have this feeling of being spread very thin.
I wouldn’t be without either of mine but just the same most friends stayed at one and I feel like they look at my life in relief it’s not them.
I’ve read around this but most people seem to say it’s something that hangs around for the first year and then gets easier but it hasn’t for me; I still have these intrusive thoughts about how easy life would be with just one child.
I like being with them individually. And I’m dreading my youngest starting school as then that time with them as individuals is gone forever and it feels like it’s just stress.