To be at my wit's end with DS?

Even if he's doing something just practical, he should have work ethnic to do the best he can in what he wants to do.

Yeah right. OPs son will prosper by not putting effort in. It doesn't matter to me what he's doing, just he should be putting a good concerted effort into doing what he wants to do. He wants to do maths, another a level and a btec. Do a good job out of that and do the best he can.

I could have written this post myself 3 years ago. My youngest had decided to follow in her brother's footsteps to study maths, further maths & physics A levels along with product design. We'd encouraged a more practical route which would be more suited to her learning style. She loved product design but found that the other subjects weren't as easy as her brother made them look. She applied herself entirely to the subject she enjoyed, prioritised paid work, volunteering, a relationship etc to avoid the struggle. She did engage with tuition but found that hard because it was separate to school & she almost didn't know what she didn't know to be able to get the right help.
At the end, grades weren't all that she'd hoped but she still got her uni place, just with a foundation year. She also got a part time job directly related to product design which she loves. This has motivated her as she now sees a career path.
Don't give up hope. The most important thing is to maintain your relationship as someone who is supporting them & not judging them for struggling.

@WithTwoGiantBoys let him get on with it. He's got a lot on his plate for 17, 6th form, part time job, fitness, friends, gf. If with consistent effort of he's only going to scrape a C/D is 6th form the right place for him?

The world is changing with AI. The old rules propounded by people like the Academic are falling away. Likely those like ops son will prosper whilst the swotty ones with strings of degrees will struggle to find work. Also nonsense about businesses failing 🙄

@WithTwoGiantBoys same here! DS1 who is 19 is doing medicine at uni and was super motivated to work hard. I think it would make a huge difference if DS2 knew where he wanted to end up but he has no idea.

Most new businesses end up failing anyway.

Many practical courses require some basic school qualifications. Even if some don't, having school qualification opens a multitude of doors.

He has a job, a girlfriend, friends and an interest in exercise. He’ll figure the rest out.

Count your blessings. I’m not going to go into detail about what happened to my son when he was sitting his A levels, but suffice to say, I’ve since had my priorities rearranged dramatically.

He sounds motivated - he just isn’t motivated by the same things you are.

What a ridiculous comment. All a levels can be hard if you aren’t academic in that way or it isn’t a strength subject. Maths in particular requires a natural aptitude. I’m naturally academic and found maths a level hard despite gcse being easy. I got an a in the end when that was the top grade but wouldn’t have done it at uni as it gets harder again

"He needs to work hard he wants to go to university or even do any kind of practical training course. School grades do matter."

. He has ambitions to run his own business and there's no reason why he shouldn't do very well out of it. He is well aware that further courses may be beneficial to him and there's nothing to prevent him from doing them as he goes.
I did my degree with subject specific qualifications to get me in that were also not done at school.
You do not need school grades to do "any kind of practical training course"

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
Id leave him to it, but point out bluntly that post A levels, no forward plan = looking for digs. No free rides after 18. Will his mates and gf be happy to fund his life.

I'm glad he's doing okay..if he wants to do engineering related stuff maths is very helpful.

Whatever he wants to do he should do it, and put full effort into achieving his goals.

Is swapping to core maths an option? I can see we may be in the same boat next year with DS2 currently in Y11 and being coaxed/cajoled/bullied through GCSEs. He wants to take maths A level but first needs a grade 7 in GCSE. I know from his older brother who got a 9 and is a natural mathematician that it’s a big step up! We think BTECS might be a better route but what would we know? Chill, mother…..
At some point they need to make their own decisions and live with the consequences but it is tough to sit back and let them.

I think there's a difference between not studying due to severe MH issues and just taking things chill and not putting in the hours because you can't be bothered. Life is hard, life is tough. The job market is tough and we need to prepare our DC for it

How much and in what sector? Who's going to have the larger scope for growth in the future?

His friends have just started university and it all depends on what they study, where they study and what industries they target? Do they chose to do the charities sector or go work at Goldman Sachs? Lots of apprenticeships want strong GCSEs and at least Cs at A-level.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/higher-gcse-grades-linked-to-lifetime-earnings-boost

www.gov.uk/government/news/graduates-enjoy-100k-earnings-bonus-over-lifetime

My DS has MH issues and academic pressure didn't help. When you have spent nights in A&E after your child has self harmed to the point of needing an ambulance, then their wellbeing and general happiness is what matters, everything else is a bonus.

As I have often said on here to counteract the "must do well or be consigned to NMW" brigade, who frankly know nothing, my DS has no GSCEs, no qualifications at all apart from a couple of Level 1 randoms and possibly a Functional Skills in Maths.

He is 23, working, has been for a few years, enjoys his job, has been promoted, has his own responsibilities and is discussing the options to progress. And is paid more than NMW.

Completely agree re:6th form. I'd go as far as to say even GCSEs are pretty pointless for a lot of people. They are a stepping stone in learning how to study for those planning to go to uni, but for anyone wanting to learn a trade I strongly believe earlier hands on experience alongide business focused maths (and English) would be far more useful!

Nonsense. My nephew didn't sit GCSEs, functional skills maths and English alongside an apprenticeship, and earning very well now while his friends are getting into debt at uni 🤷🏼‍♀️

No, most of the homework will require WiFi to be completed.

Also, it sounds like he’s barely on the WiFi - he has a job, friends and goes to the gym.

It baffles me why everyone thinks all teenagers do is watch TikTok. Mine barely has time to have a social life (4 A levels, a part time job and she does dance classes twice a week with additional shows and competitions).

Solidarity. Have another Year 12 coaster here. It's frustrating as they are living in the moment whereas you are looking long term. If you work out what to say to get him working more on his A-levels do share!

My DC have an annoying habit of comparing their results to friends who are doing even worse rather than those who are working hard and excelling!

unfortunately you have to back off. And let him fail if necessary , there's still time for him to get back in track. He's nearly an adult , it's time for him to take charge of his destiny. At that age I started telling my kids that their exam results and work ethic only affected their lives. My life wouldn't change . But passing exams gives you choices.

My DD got 9’s in Maths and Further Maths at GCSE and still found Y12 maths A level really tough. By the February of Y12 she was being predicted B and C in Maths and Further Maths A level - and she loves maths (she is a little bit obsessed by it). She’s predicted A A now a year later but she’s had to throw everything she has at that.

If he doesn’t love maths then a maths A level was always going to be a failure.

Discuss with the sixth form and see if there he can maybe do a AS level in something in Y13 but unless he wants to go to Uni then it probably isn’t worth it.