Can I take a sibling to a child’s birthday party

Parties in a hall or something, then that’s not as bad. But if it’s something like soft play where numbers are set, then you shouldn’t bring siblings unless tue venue is open as usual and you could pay for your own ticket for that child.

The baby is fine. It’s older siblings people have issues with.

Our school is definitely a no-siblings at parties school. I think as everything is getting more expensive and you have to pay for extra children for pretty much every party now (even entertainers have limits and then you have to pay extra). But many parents help each other out and take e as others children if there’s an issue.

It’ll depend on the soft play rules. Some soft plays count babies in numbers and some don’t. If they’re at max capacity for the private hire then you may not be able to bring baby, but the likelihood is they’re not and it’ll be fine, so you’re doing the right thing messaging and asking. As they get older it will be harder, lots of parties in reception and year 1 in DDs school have been halls with bouncy castles and entertainers, with set numbers and siblings are not welcome. Make friends with other parents as soon as you can and they may be willing to help out. I’ve taken one of DDs friends to parties a couple of times when her mum hasn’t been able to and would definitely help you out in your situation.

That’s really sad, and honestly unnecessary. I don’t think any of the mums at my school would say no to siblings turning up.

Mumsnet is a bit weird in this respect and completely contrary to my ow experience

I’ve read the same threads and it makes me feel bad how un accommodating people are. Any number of siblings would be welcome at any party I threw as long as the could physically fit in the venue. I do extra party bags assuming some will show up.

OP - babe in arms, I wouldn’t even mention it. Other children - I would ask the parent but I would be shocked if they had an issue with it if you offered to pay for them.

Sibling trying to join in the party - not ok

Baby/young toddler being held or entertained separately by their parent - totally fine.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Don’t be shy about asking for help with the kids by the way. If your 4 or 7 year old was friendly with my child, I’d be very happy to keep an eye on your 4 year old at the party or have your 7 year old for a couple of hours so you could go.

I'm sorry for your loss. For parties, DS is 7 and we drop and go now so you probably aren't that far off that for both of your eldest!

This. A baby I would expect to be brought. They won't be expecting gift bags, eating the food or taking up soft play space.

Sorry for your loss.

My DS has a friend who has several siblings and dad used to work away a lot. They often asked another family to help with parties so he could attend. Might be useful going forward if you can't sort childcare for your older ones. But as others have said a 7 month old will be fine as they don't need any catering etc

I have had mums bring their babies to my daughter's soft play parties. They never asked and I just expected them to anyway. I ended up holding my friend's baby to give her a break. 🤣

Sorry for your loss.

I wouldn’t expect anyone to ask to bring a baby along.

I’m a single parent with 3 and 5 year old so have had this a lot. At my son’s school it’s common for siblings to be invited and a lot of them come along, particularly to village hall parties. Occasionally, if they’re not specifically invited but it sounds like a big venue where they wouldn’t cause extra work/ cost I’ll ask to bring my youngest. If it’s something where the numbers sound limited or there’s a specific cost for each child I don’t ask or find someone to leave my youngest child with.

I think it’s harder to take an older child to a younger child’s party as it changes the dynamic more. My oldest would want to join in but I wouldn’t be able to let him in most cases. Might be easier with an older child who can just sit on a tablet/ read.

I read some threads about this which made me feel bad about asking before but no one has seemed to mind in reality and usually there’s been a few siblings at every party. My children miss out on a lot from me being a single parent already and I think sometimes you have to ask for help in these sort of situations.

I wouldn’t bring the 7 or 4 year olds without being invited to but I’d think nothing of an actual baby. I wouldn’t even ask or expect to be asked about that. Though I’d love a cuddle :)

im so sorry for your loss.

if things like this come up for you in future please do reach out to the other parents. I would absolutely bend over backwards to help you - either by bringing one of your children or letting you bring siblings or anything really. My son’s bestie’s dad passed away when they were maybe 6 and for a couple of years he wanted his big brother with him at parties so I invited them both. If theres something small that could help you I’d really want to know.

This is totally fine and someone who would say no to this, especially given your circumstances, would be a very unpleasant person.
I am very sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss. Definitely fine to
take a baby, maybe just send the mum a friendly message explaining.
Going forward for older children around here parties don’t usually expect parents to stay so you could take the younger two elsewhere for the party.
Hope they have fun!

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s understandable that these kind of issues feel overwhelming right now.

There’s no hard and fast rules for siblings at parties - babes in arms (or in their buggies) are always fine, but for any child big enough to move around and therefore possibly get in the way you would just ask the parents. Obviously offer to pay for the entrance for the sibling (if applicable). We’ve had some parties where we’ve been able to include all siblings (eg if we’ve rented a village hall and there’s plenty of space) and some where we’ve had to say no sorry as the venue has age limits, it just varies every year.

It’s absolutely fine to take the baby. She’s non mobile and won’t be eating party food. Absolutely no need to ask. Obviously it’s different with the older 2 and you will find yourself in that situation in future. Increasingly though your elder DD’s parties will be drop off and some will be in venues where you can pay for the other dc as a member of the public. As a single parent myself we didn’t have a massive amount of issues surrounding this

Absolutely fine as a baby no issues at all nobody would bat an eyelid.

As for how to deal with siblings and party requests (DH works away sometimes) if it's an open thing then I pay for my eldest or youngest.
If it's not an open thing then I speak to friends to see if they can take (I return the favour) or I ask at time of invite about the possibility.

I never just turn up with a sibling in tow although DS1 recent party 4 did just that and it was private hire!

I’m really sorry you lost your DH.
if it’s the kind of party where a parent is expected to stay (nb that evolves over time) then babe in arms is fine and you’ve done the right thing not bringing the other sibling.

i think you’ll find that by the time it’s not appropriate to bring your youngest - when they’re toddling around - you can drop and leave your older children (but never drop both children off at a party unless it’s been really clearly stated “siblings welcome”. I’ve seen that a couple of times out of many dozens of invites)

I think generally it's no siblings (excluding babies who are fine) but I think in lots of cases people will make exceptions for childcare issues if possible. The only issue is booked activities or entertainers who only take a certain number of kids. But with soft play places you can often pay for your other child and bring them some food. Then when they get older I think it becomes a drop off anyway.

Babe in arms is fine.

Sorry for your loss OP, it sounds like you are doing a great job. 💐

Baby yes that’s ok.

I wouldn’t even have thought about asking the mum in your situation! Pop baby in a sling so you’re able to be mobile for your DD whilst she’s playing.

Baby yes that’s ok

Mine just didn't go to parties until it was drop off and leave Which was pretty much the whole of school really as parents having to stay was less common